Sexual Health
+1 y

Husband was a virgin when we met. Wants to be with other girls now.

My husband of 5 years was a virgin when we met. We had sex before we got married. We've been together 7+ years. He's 27 years old. He recently told me he sometimes thinks about what it would be like to have sex with other women, since he only knows what it's like with one person. We talked about possibly swinging...but he doesn't want me to be with anyone else. I am open to the idea, as it might help our sex life...I had multiple partners before we got together, and our sex life is a little lacking...he obviously isn't very experienced. I was thinking that maybe if he was with somebody else, it may help him with confidence and teach him a few things. I worry that I will be jealous. We are very open with each other, and he won't do anything if I say I'm uncomfortable with it. I'm just looking for ways to add a little something to our sex life. Any adivice?
Updates:
+1 y
Thanks for all the opinions guys. This is really tough. I am a very sexual person, & was previously married. I'm 6 years older than my husband - he was 20 when we met. I know that I have held back a lot of my sexuality for fear that my virgin boyfriend/husband would think I was weird/freaky/not normal etc. So for 7+ years, I haven't been myself and now he's bored. We have been talking a lot, and last night I told him everything about what I've been wanting, holding back, etc. That's when he told
+1 y
Me about his desires to be with other women. I'm hoping that now it's all out there in the open it will help his desires to be with others to diminish. Hopefully I can fulfill his fantasies. He did confess that last week while out of town on business he went to the titty bar and bought himself a lap dance, and drank too much & stayed out til 4 am. Anyway, he told me about it last night. For what it's worth.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Don't agree. You shouldn't let him be with other girls. Your marriage will vanish if you're not firm with that. Tell him I he cheats on you your heart will break. If you cry better. If he does not understand I'm sorry, but you will have to regain his heart somehow. Make him love you. If he really did, he will not have need of being with other girls. I understand how he feels, as I'm also a man, but if he has chosen you he must stay with you. Best advice of myself: Regain his heart by making him love you. I certainly hope for you the best of lucks and may your marriage be full of love and joy.

  • There are other options.

    You guys could, TOGETHER, read some how-to books or online articles.

    Talk to couples you know.

    And important: don't be afraid to try new thing with each other. You two should be able to give suggestions to each other and furnish things to try.

    Also, if there is something you would like, tell him. During, try to guide him an give suggestions to touch, angle, speed etc. and tell him he can do the same. Also, make sure their's an understandog that's its to improve sex for both of you.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Dress up do role player something. Bring in toys and lunes and things. Don't leave yourself open to diseases and him getting emotionally attached to another woman. stuff like that. When you get married you're sayin that you wanna spend the rest of life with one person. If he doesn't want that he shouldn't have married you.

  • He wants you to give him the OK to have sex with other women but thinks you should sit at home alone while this goes on ? I don't want to seem judgmental you say he has no experience what has he been doing for 5 years of marriage. Tell him it's not going to happen.

  • Sorry, your husband sounds like a judgmental jerk. I won't date virgin guys because they expect a p*rnstar in the bedroom, but think a girl is a slut if she had sex before or kisses too fast. Ughz

    • Plus he shouldn't be bored of you and go to strip clubs like that, IMO. He shouldn't have married you if he was going to get bored.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 12

  • BAD BAD BAD IDEA. Find a way to spice up the sex life without either of you sampling other wares. When was the last time that you ever heard of something like that working out well?

    • I agree. I'd be very careful if I was her. Of course he's curious but that doesn't mean he should be experimenting. That's why I don't think people should wait till marriage to have sex or get married so young.

  • He's pretty much just feeling like every other man his age: he has a strong desire for variety in women. I admire his honesty, most men wouldn't let their women know such things or would just cheat on them. It shows his respect and loyalty to you. I also admire your maturity and realistic mindset in this, your willingness to understand him and cooperate with his instinctive desires. You two seem like a very healthy and harmonious couple.

    I do have some advice: You want to select a girl who is clean, drug free, and won't try stealing him from you. You also want to select a girl who's experienced enough to teach him some pointers in satisfying a woman - rent an escort girl! Rent one for a threesome or a twosome, whichever you both agree upon. With an escort girl, the risks are minimal and most wouldn't risk losing their jobs, so they'll be very mature and professional about it.

  • Me and my ex had an agreement once because she wanted to sleep with other women. I told her that was fine but the deal was, if it was OK for her to have sex with them then it was OK for me to have sex with them. At first she didn't want to share me with another girl but the fact is, what's good for one is good for both. Try explaining that to him because in the end he's still getting what he wants but you won't be left out as well. It isn't very fair for him to have sex with other people but keep you cooped up for himself.

  • No... I would NOT advise 'swinging.' You risk making him think you'll never please him like the other girls do and it could be heart-breaking.

    I *would* suggest experimenting with new sexual activities. If he's that lacking in experience, YOU have to be the one to teach him. Do something no one else would ever do for him but YOU! He will not stay inexperienced for ever and will eventually open up more.

  • No longer my field. Sorry.

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