I cheated and now I'm pregnant. what to do?

I've been dating this guy since I was a freshman in high school and I've been cheating on him since I was a senior in HS. I do love him with all my heart but I like sex and I can't control the need for it. I want it all the time and if my boyfriend can't give it to me I go to the other guy. Its like I can't think straight when I get like this. Well anyways I'm pregnant and I don't know who the father is? I really want to believe its my bf's. Do I tell both of them? Tell just one of them and they'll think its his baby? What do I do?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Your situation is already very messy...I am sure you don't want to lose your boyfriend, but you haven't been honest with him for what seems like a while. Does he know how you feel about sex and what happens when you can't get satisfaction from him? If he does and he neglects you in this area then why haven't you moved on? Found someone who can satisfy you?

    Besides this now you are in a dill-PICKLE girl!

    I would start being honest with EVERYONE, including yourself. To lie anymore is just going to put your further and further into a mess. And if you choose to keep lying until you know what's going on for sure then I promise the truth will come out eventually.

    Tell your boyfriend the honest truth about yourself. As far as this other guy, if you are for sure pregnant and want to get a paternity test ask your doctor when is the soonest you can get this done before you tell this guy. That way you can go to this guy with the information that 1. your pregnant, but you don't know who's baby it is and 2. I won't know until this time who's baby it is.

    Until you know the paternity neither you or who ever the daddy is can really enjoy the experience of being a parent...Good luck.

  • If you've manage to get yourself pregnant... did you ever think about the possibility of you passing an STD on to your boyfriend?

    You can't hide it. A paternity test may come up anyway. Best to be honest about it. There's a real possibility your actions have just demolished your relationship. And now you have to worry about possibly having a child with a guy you aren't even in love with. Some deep sh*t you are in, my friend. You need some help. You sound like an addict, and if you ever want to stop betraying the people you claim you love, you need to go get help for this addition to sex/attention or whatever it is you are truly seeking. Both of them are likely to be very pissed off at you, but you won't know who this babies father is until it comes out of you. A long 9 months you have ahead of you. Don't go back to your boyfriend and say you're pregnant and claim it's his. Tell him you cheated, and you're pregnant.. and you aren't sure who's it is. As for this other guy, well I don't know what to tell you there. You boyfriend has a pretty big pill to swallow if he does decide to stay with you... that stuff is devastating.

    • How am I supposed to get help for my...sex addiction...?

    • Therapy is an option if you have the money, or insurance coverage for it. If not, there is is program much like AA, but it goes under Sex Addicts Anonymous or some other variation. You might want to check around in your city/state. A lot of these groups meet up and it's something you can get yourself into. If all else fails, the internet is your greatest tool. There are so many good support groups and forums you can find online that I believe truly can help people.

    • saa.org is the website for Sex Addicts Anonymous, they have resources there and you can look up meetings in your area through that.

  • It might be best to stay with your boyfriend and try to control yourself, because I doubt your FWB will be there for the baby. Either way, you should exercise some self-control because it could you into some trouble in the future if you don't(Hell, you're in trouble now because of you lack of control). I would be honest with your Boyfriend about the pregnancy and your FWB. As for cheating? Understand fully that if you tell the truth, you run the risk of losing them both. But, if you don't tell the truth it might come out anyways eventually so, it's really up to which route you want to go. I mean, in all honesty I would dump the Boyfriend anyways because if you "love" him by no means should you be betraying and shaming him behind his back. Tell him everything and let him decide whether the relationship is worth it or not because after you slept with that first guy who was not your boyfriend, you basically left the decision for keeping your relationship together in someone else's hands.

Most Helpful Guys

  • If you loved him, you wouldn't cheat. Break up with the guy, or, tell him what's happened and let him break up with you. You don't deserve a boyfriend, period. Obviously you and your boyfriend aren't compatible anyways if you can't find satisfaction in him and he's not willing to f*** more.

    The fact you don't know who the father is astounds me at the type of whore you are :\ how much unprotected sex do you have? Think back I guess to all the guys you've had sex in the last several months, make a list, get tested to find out whose it is. Regardless, you don't deserve to be with your boyfriend. He should know the truth. How would you feel if he was f***ing other chicks? In this case, I really hope he has been. In fact, I hope it's your best friend.

  • You're fine, Accept who you are, be discrete, but don't be ashamed to tell those close to you about your needs. There will be repercussions, but they will be less than hiding from the world.

    My advice, find out who the father is and tell him about the child. There is no hurry about this. It can be done pre-natal if you wish. This does not mean picking one or the other or any man to be in your life.

    I am monogamous, but love polygamous women. They are so rare. If you wish I would be delighted to help you come visit me in Oregon until the baby is born.

    • Dude, stop leaving creepy ass answers on young girls questions. No young girl is going to come live with you and have a baby at your house.

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What Girls & Guys Said

7 13
  • You could abort the thing. That might be better for it than having to deal with the mess you've got going in your life.

    If you're against abortion, you need to at least come clean to the guy you're with. Your side guy doesn't count in all of this. This is about #1 your baby and #2 the guy you've been screwing over. Your feelings and your piece of ass on the side don't count.

    • haha, love it. Your feelings don't count...

  • I really don't understand why you had to cheat on him and that for so many years. But that aside unless you want an abortion you'll have to tell your boyfriend at some point, he'll notice that your pregnant.

    The best thing would be to tell him truth but with that you risk to lose him, obviously he's not gonna like the idea it could be some other guys kid.

    Don't tell him it's his baby though when you're not sure, you would have to live with that lie for the rest of life.

  • Here's what I want to know. If you found out your Boyfriend had been f***ing one of your friends for years, could you forgive him? Would you still love him?

    • No. I'd be hurt.

    • So how is your behavior fair to him?

    • I guess its not. But I love him. I can't control myself when it comes to having sex. I never mean to hurt him.

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  • Karma's a bitch, isn't it?

  • slag detected

    • That's rude.

    • assassin= kill people slag= cheat on bfs/get pregnant of someone else. hooker= sex for money thats not rude.. that's exacly what you did.

  • 1. Tell them both. They both deserve to know.

    2. Have a DNA test when the baby is born.

    3. Leave them both. They deserve someone who will be faithful to them.

  • I just want you to know that you totally suck.

  • Tell both. You shouldn't have lied to your boyfriend, so I don't think you really love him. If you did you'd have asked for an open relationship if it was such a big deal.

  • And you don't know about condoms or about Birth Control, or about Plan B? Not at all, really?

    It sounds like you're in deep mud.

    May Planned Parenthood can help you: link

    • I know about them. I just haven't used them before.

    • I can only advise Planned Parenthood. (or an expensive obgyn)

  • well you don't love your boyfriend you don't even know what love is so please stop using the word you are degrading the meaning of it, you should tell both of them that you are pregnant so your boyfriend can leave you I can't believe you would do this to a person that you care about.you are a bad person and you need to come clean about this

  • Well, being a guy who has been cheated on and have cheated myself, honesty is the best answer that has always worked out for the best. Sure its going probably going to hurt your relationship, and in fact my help it, but you need to be honest about it and not lay with their emotions you don't know how devastating it is to think you are a father and then to find out that you are not, you made your bed, now its time to make it seeing how you laid in it

  • thats really unfortuante.

    your boyfriend dosnt deserve to be cheated on , and father a child that possibly might not be his.

    you can't think straight? you obvisouly could think enough to call up someone else and have unprotected sex..

    your best option is to tell them both the truth, get a paternity test to determine the babys father... although since you don't seem to have a problem with lying to your boyfriend you COULD say the baby is his and ruin his life even more then you already have... when you lvoe someone, truly love someone, you don't do shady sh*t behind there back.

    remember.. all secrets come out sooner or later.

  • Cheating Is Wrong! What Happen To Moral? Traditions? Respect And Sacredness Of A Relationship? If You Can't Keep Your Legs Closed WHY Are You In A Relationship? You're Only Hurting Those You Apparently "Love." I Would Never Do That...The Thought Itself Makes Me Ill. And If My Partner Betrayed Me You Better Know I'm Dumping Him In The Trash! Tell Him Or Karma Will Hurt You.

  • I call BS on you. You don't love this guy at all. You are a selfish, piece of trash. If you have ANY respect or feelings for the poor sap you call a boyfriend, tell him the truth and at least give him the opportunity to decide if he wants to raise another mans baby. If he decides to stay with you, you need to get your act together IMMEDIATELY and kiss the ground he walks on. Anyone can screw up, but only an adult will own up to it.

  • This has got to be a joke! Do you really dis respect yourself this much!? Well You owe it to your boy friend to tell him you are a slut, you are pregnant and don't know if the child is his. You also owe it to him to tell him that he needs to be tested for any STD's including but not limited to HIV. What is wrong with you? Why would you stay in a committed relationship for so long if you know that you are not committed. Fine have sex with multiple men or whatever but do it on your own time not his. YOU ARE WASTING HIS TIME! Not to mention breaking his heart and probably infecting him with all kinds of nasty diseases. I feel very sad for your unborn baby. When you have this child maybe your eyes will be opened and you will grow up a little. I can only hope and pray for you and the well being of this child, as well as the well being of your mate.

    • That's harsh.

  • i was actually kinda in your situation and now I have my 9 month old son...i was married and seperated and had a boyfriend.i slept with my boyfriend and husband around the same time.i found out I was pregnant and told both of them.i moved back with my husband and it ended up being the boyfriends...so I say tell um both,right nows the best so at leasty one or both of them can be there for you and the baby...it will be hard atg first and maybe even until you have thebaby but you have to do it for your baby if your keeping it. damn I just wrote this and realized you asked this 2 months ago...

  • Just out of curiosity, whose d*** do you like better? Who gives you better sex?

    Why don't you use birth control with these guys? Especially the guy you're cheating with?

    Also curious as to how many guys you've banged during your relationship with this poor bastard.

    • I've had sex with 4 other guys during that time period. It doesn't matter who's I lije. My boyfriend duped me v

    • I'm sure it doesn't matter. I was asking out of curiosity. And how did your boyfriend "dupe" you? Also, did you tell them all?

    • Sorry. My phone screen messed up when I w as typing. I meant dumped. I told the possible fathers of the baby.

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  • Wow..guess its time to tell the truth...hopefully you will learn something from this situation. g'luck

  • First of all you don't love him, if you did you wouldn't be cheating on him, he deserves so much better then you. If you liked sex you should have been having it with the guy that you claimed to love.

    Question asker you are in deep doo doo...this is how it usually plays out:

    You lie to telling him it's his and he cares for you, until the baby is born then a DNA test reveals to him that he "is NOT the father" then you get dumped for lying *AND* cheating.

    • I DO love him. I do. I have since I was 15 years old. He can't always give me sex and I CAN'T help it that I need it. And when I don't get it from him I go to the other guy. That's all it is with him is sex. There is no love whatsoever with the other guy. I love my boyfriend so much as well as I love sex with him. Why does he need to know?! I don't want to hurt him.

    • No you don't love him, you lie and cheat on him then go have sex which is a very intimate thing with another man. Then instead of dealing with the not getting enough sex from the guy that you *CLAIM* to love and sorting out the problem you lie to him and cheat on him. The worst part is that you then go and **JUSTIFY CHEATING** on the very guy that you *CLAIM* to be in love with. So no you do not love him, you are only using him.

    • I DO LOVE HIM! I can't help it! I have a problem. I need it. There is no intimacy with the other guy. I just can't help it, I love him and I don't want to hurt him. I'm not justifying anything. I'm speaking the truth. One guy its love and sex, the other its just sex and only sex.

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  • You've cheated him that's really bad dear. Just inform him about whatever happened with you in past and please apologize as well. If you truly love him he'll always be yours. I can't understand why the level of sex appeal is so very high in you I mean that's obvious but you're too much. Anyways please sort it out and try to be a one man woman..