I don't know how to flirt, saw a hot bouncer in the bar

[Anonymous]

I quite literally don't know how to flirt. I went to a bar last night (was sober) and saw a hot bouncer who was operating the mechanical bull. I told some friends, one went to a guy she knew and asked if he was single-turns out he is! Then I tell another friend and she drags me over to him and strikes up a conversation like it's no big deal and then leaves me. So I'm nervous anyways and I didn't know what to say. I asked if he goes to the University I go to. He tells me no, tells me his job and where it is. Then I forget, some talk of the mechanical bull was said-he said to go on it and that he'd be nice, what have I to lose? To which I replied, "My dignity." Then I said maybe if I find a friend to go on. Then I leave because it was awkward, didn't know what to say, and his coworkers came along to give him a drink. I finally find a friend to go on it. I go for my turn, stay on, fall off, and go up to him and he's like I did good. Then after closing time, I had to walk by him. I said, "Thanks for being nice to me on the bull" and he said no problem. I felt like the biggest idiot ever, and I'm so scared he thinks I"m an idiot and isn't attracted to me. How do you flirt? I haven't gone up to a guy before, I usually let them come to me, so I have no idea what to say. It's embarrassing, how do you flirt with a guy?

[Kiran04]

There's no secret to flirting. It's a fancy word for "talking". Just talk, FFS. Start with small talk, how is he doing, how's work, how's life. Move on to job/career/school/goals in life. Get him to talk about himself. If he likes you he'll return the favor, in which case you can tell him about yourself. Flirting doesn't come in until you get comfortable. Once you're comfortable and not feeling like a total idiot, it'll be a little more natural. Until then, stop thinking about it. Flirting is more feeling than thinking. Over-thinking makes you an idiot.

[Asker]

But it's hard cause he's working right. So I can't talk too much and it's loud music. I don't think he was interested, I mean wouldn't he have asked for my number? I don't know. What does FFS stand for?

[Kiran04]

"For F***'s Sake". And he might not have asked for your number because, as you said, he was working. It's poor form and unprofessional to try to pick up chicks on the job.

[Asker]

Oh ha ah :S I see, I'm just so shy to go back again and talk if he's there. I mean, I don't wanna be that creepy girl right. Ugh, this is so hard :(

[Kiran04]

Fortune favors the bold. I can guarantee you, without a shadow of a doubt, that if you never go and talk to him you won't have a snow balls chance in hell with him. Good things don't come to you. You seek them out, run them down, and grab onto them with both hands, holding on like your life depends on it.

[Asker]

I guess, I hear they like confidence. But I was just so shy, I didn't get to prepare questions before talking to him. So I probably sounded like the biggest idiot ever, I hope he could tell I was shy and not just a weirdo. What would you think if a girl kinda stood there awkwardly and tried talking to you? I just really hate rejection, I haven't had to approach a guy before. I like it when they come to me.

[Kiran04]

I'd think she needs to relax and have a good time.

[Asker]

So you wouldn't be turned off? |Would you find it cute? What if she said something like, "I'm sorry, I'm really nervous." or "Ah, this is so awkward ha ha." I did ask about school, so perhaps I did one thing right?

[Kiran04]

Yea, I'd think it was kinda cute. No, wouldn't be turned off.

[Asker]

Okay. I didn't say that I was nervous or this is awkward, but am wondering if he'd be turned off by the awkward silence. I'm shy, I don't know what to say. There should be like a class on how to talk to guys at my University ha ha

[tswayd]

Just be honest about what you're thinking. Say compluments. Make them cute. Crack a joke. Smile smile smile.hope this helps

[naima17]

I don't either,but from what others say: you make eye contact and smike. make sure your body is facing the other person. body language should do the talking. Be yourself

[Asker]

I see, I've heard that before too. I just don't know how to talk, I'm better if they strike up the conversation first. I've gone backwards, I haven't met new guys for a few months-been with another guy, but things ended. Now I feel like I lost my "game," just the weird guys approached me. I'd like the good looking ones too ha ha

[naima17]

Oh em gee! same here!