I don't like being dominant in bed and my boyfriends likes it , help?

[Anonymous]

I'm very submissive and I guess also my boyfriend is.. unfortunately. I want my man to be brutal and super dominant , slap me on face, spank, choke .. I love it too much ! when my boyfriend does it it's OK but for me it's not enough, he is too romantic :( and what's worst he likes me to dominate while I don't like it, OK I can be dominant sometimes it's also fun but if I have to do it too often it starts to be turn off. My boyfriend can't be really brutal , when he spanks me it's not hard enough, and it's not dominant enough for me.. I don't if it's a reason that we should break up? or maybe we can work on it somehow?

[Anonymous]

I agree with the guy below, Sexual compatibility is the fundation of a relationship. From the grounds of sex you escalate to the point of total union, where you both are so in sync with each other that the only thing left for you to do is climax over and over again. Extremely good chemistry needs to exist between two indidividuals to make sex healthy and extremely fulfilling. If you love brutal sex, you better find a guy who loves it too. Brutal sex isn't unhealthy when both parties know what they are doing and have acquiese to it.

How to be brutal in sex isn't something you teach to someone because it's extremely hard to learn something you aren't comfortable in engaging in. You'll struggle a lot trying to define the boundaries of it and might actually really hurt your partner. I knew a guy (high school) who almost got sued by a girl because he engaged in brutal sex with her. What the girl told me is that he spanked her with a wooden spoon and it hurted her. By the end of the month he was with a new girl and she was with a new guy (she loved the Leverette sexual position and the Waterfall = most dominant). The new girl who was sleeping with the guy who was accused of having brutal sex, called the other one "insecure and inexperienced". The new girl was extremely happy of her man's sexual ability. To this day I still believe sexual compatibility to be a deal breaker. There is no point in trying to force a sexual style into someone, just because it doesn't match your style of love making.

[MrOracle]

Unfortunately, for the most part, a guy is either dominant, submissive, or neutral, and most don't change much. If your guy is naturally submissive, then the chances of him being a good dominant are very small. That's just against his nature, just like you don't like being dominant all the time. It's no easier for him to change than for you to.

So, I must agree with the others that the two of you just aren't sexually compatible. That's something you're going to have to deal with sooner or later, and that usually means breaking up and finding someone else to date.

[Anonymous]

If you do want to work on it, you could try taking turns maybe? Like, one day, it's your turn to be submissive and the next time, it's your boyfriend's turn? Maybe you could see if you like it that way, with each of you getting some of what you want? It could still end up not working, but at least you'd have given it a try.

[AustinMan]

I'll be blunt. The other guys are right; this isn't going to work. There are plenty of guys out there who are really dominant and like rough sex. I'm one of them. Look up the local BDSM clubs in your locale. Go to a meeting a little early and find a woman to be your guide and mentor, sort of take you under her wing. There will be guys there like you're looking for, that will dominate you the way you like it.

[Konnour]

What do you mean by brutal?! You want him to punch you in the face to leave bruises? You want him to pull your hair so hard you'll cry? You want him to choke you 'til you pass out or die?

What the hell is this with girls being masochistic and hating actually being treated good? What the f***?!

Is there any decent girl who actually likes being treated good? Every chick seems to love being treated like complete sh*t!

[baldballs]

my girlfriend is cruel, and brutal. she loves bdsm and she tries a lot of torture on me.she punishes my balls she controls me by my balls. she ties my balls up tight with string and she spanks my balls with a ruler, or she lets her bff do it to my balls when she cant.they electro shocked my balls today, omg message me for details

[Anonymous]

It seems that it's one of his fantasies that a girl is dominating over him

[Anonymous]

This is why sexual compatibility is so important. You can't expect two submissives to make each other happy in the bedroom. A sub needs a dom.

You two can try to work this out, but I doubt you'll succeed. He will never be the dom that you want him to be.