You know the answer to this... you seem to just want validation for what you're thinking of doing. Here's the scoop, you talk to him about it, try and work it out with him, coach him in bed, tell him what you want him to do, and hopefully he'll get the hang of it. As for the smell... I dunno, maybe take a shower before you guys have sex or something.
But either way, the solution here is to talk to him about it and try to work something out. If it doesn't work then you're probably gonna have to let him go. You can saythat sex isn't important in a relationship... but it is... it's very important. It shouldn't be THE most important thing, but think about it. what is the MAIN differene between a very good, close friend and a boyfriend/girlfriend? One of the MAIN differences is sexual attraction, at least at younger ages anyways. If it just isn't happening then yeah, probably better to break it off. I wouldn't suggest trying to be friends though. Most guys I know, including myself, hate the whole "lets be friends" thing afterwards. I'm not gonna sugar coat this, but odds are you're going to tear his heart out in doing this so odds are he won't want to be friends with you. But it's for the best if the relationship just doesn't have good chemistry.
You're going to do it anyway. You know it, I know it.
You want permission? Fine: dump him.
I'm thinking of it,but am still trying to keep him by trying to solve the problem. I wouldn't wana hurt him because of this only. but if there is no other solution then yes I will have to end this relationship.
Breakups hurt, even the ones that need to happen. Have you tried discussing this in a nonjudgmental, non defensive way, yet. Honestly I don't see how you do it ("Honey, you don't smell the way I like my guys to smell. No, that's not why you're awful in the sack--you have other problems there.") But if you don't fix him, he'll never get laid again.
Yes, 9months. Iv tried that long, because other than sex, he is a very good person and don't want to lose him because of this. We tried to solve it but...sex sucks still. So I guess we will just continue to be great friends but nothing more than that. He claims he can not live without me and loves me deeply, but what can I do if I just don't feel pleasure while having sex?
Yes you should. Here's why; you haven't even mentioned anything that is good about him. Because of this and because you asked the question you did I think that he is not the one for you.
No don't misunderstand me, he is a great sweet person and I feel very comfortable and secure with him. I don't want to leave him only because of this, but I think after 9 months of trying, its starting to get frustrated. So despite of his great personality I think I will have to let him go. Sad isn't it. And then they say chemistry is not important......IT IS
9 MONTHS OF SMELLY BAD SEX? No, you've done more than enough. Really.
I go off of what you say and how you say it. If this is not the only reason than yes it sounds really clear what you are wanting to do. Go ahead and do it. If it were me and I was in a serious relationship I would want that person to tell me that I have bad body odor. I may not like to hear it but at least I would know the truth about that. Some people can't smell themselves and are oblivious to it.
Wait, does he suck in bed in general, or is it hard to concentrate because of his body smell? I'm confused now.
He sucks in bed, that is one thing. He does not know how to turn me on and how to `have` me. And of course his bad body-smell doesn't help. We tried so many things, perfume, he changed his soap, and it kind of changed. But then, when we have sex, that smell comes again. Its his body I think. I,m not selfish, iv tried for so long with him despite the bad sex he is a great person, a sweetheart and a very responsible guy and feel very secure with him..its getting realy confusing to me.Suggestion?
Part of him being bad in bed may actually revert back to the smelling bad, he's self conscious. And for the body odor, if it's that bad, that you guys have tried things, I would suggest he go to a doctor. They have stuff for so many things, there has to be something for that, maybe a pill or a "special" soap, or something. And maybe if he can take care of that then concentrate more on the sex without feeling self conscious. And don't be afraid yourself to tell him what you like.
Im not afraid to tell him what I like. we tried many things. the body odor , we got rid of that kind of. but he also sux in bed. doesn't turn me on at all. I guess we will end up to be good friends only. even if I hate to see him with another woman, yeah well, this is life I guess, you can't understand certain thigns. dun wana lose this great guy but I guess I hav to. it sux :-(
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Have you told him this yet? Does he know he doesn't satisfy you and that you can't stand the smell of him?
I didn't tell him about the body-smell but I told him he doesn't satisfy me. of course he got hurt but I told him as sweet I could. He is trying to change the way he `approaches` me, the way he makes love to me but the result is still the same.
Yes he knows that he does not satisfy me or even turn me on. I didn't tell him about the body-smell because I don't want to hurt him. I just bought him nice perfumes and soaps and stuff like that. he is a very clean guy but I guess every guy has this certain body smell and some people might just not like that smell. he smells fresh always, but when we have sex it sort of comes out. And another thing I forgot, I don't like his breath..so kissing is hell. don't knw how I can love him so much
u should talk to him first
and
then see if its better to break up or not
and if his body odor is REALLY that bad than maybe take a shower together?
or
show him how to have sex and it will be better?
It's shallow to just break up with him. Indicate it to him with hints.
Yes its very shallow to break up with him just for that. That is why I am still with him. But after 9 months of trying new things our sex-life is still horrible. Maybe we don't have that chemistry. What do you think?
Shallow to break up because he's smelly AND bad in bed? When did this stop being a double dealbreaker?
"Indicate it to him with hints."
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