Sexual Health
+1 y

I got a BJ from a stripper during my stag. I was drunk. Should I tell my fiancé?

All my friends were there. As was my father-in-law. She gave me a lap dance on stage. It got pretty raunchy. I was really hard and turned on. Then she took me into the private room for another lap dance, but before I knew it, she undid my pants and went to town. I came pretty quickly, and we were out before the next song started. Everyone applauded. I think it might have been all arranged. I'm getting married tomorrow. What should I do?
Updates:
+1 y
Quick Update. We were married today. I told her what happened. She said she knew. I was expecting the worst. The "stripper" turned out to be a girl she had a relationship with in college. I heard about her, but never met her until hours before the ceremony. It seems they still love each other very much, and we agreed to be spiritually united. She whispered her vows with us, and we all kissed after we left the church. I can not tell you how happy we all are! :)
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Most Helpful Girls

  • i would not call anything off. Wait a few years and then tell her. She may be upset but she needs to realize your comming home to her the one you love not some stripper. And it was just a stripper which ment you didn't have an affair with someone , and it's not lying if she doesn't ask if you did anything bad. calling off the wedding because of that is wrong. I personally see it as if you really love someone you are their threw thick and thin. When someone messes up if you really love that person you stay and fix the problem together and not throw away love. People don't realize that you shouldn't throw love away because of a mistake. If it can be fixed then stick it out and try to make things work. I thought that marriage ment somenthing. well if your getting married tommaro wait and tell her down the line. If she loves you she will forgive you if not well then she's stupid.

    • If it was a one-off drunkan mistake never to be repeated then I dint think you should tell her. But the attitude if "if it's a stripper so it doesn't count" is crap, cheating is cheating

  • Tell her so you can resolve it. What if some guy went down on her or if she gave some guy a BJ? You would be livid if she kept that from you. If you reassure you'll never do it again she may stay with you. If not, then you learn not to let strippers take you in the backroom ever again. Seriously though, what did you think the stripper was going to do? Lead you to Christ?

    • I thought she was going to give me a lapdance. She tricked me.

    • This situation is sad...considering the fact that you were drunk and your inhibitions were low. That is why as long as you are remorseful and honest with your fiancee you have a chance at continuing the relationship. If she can't handle it, and I can understand if she couldn't, then you would have to try and move on because at least you were truthful and trying not to start the marriage off on a lie. I never thought a stripper doubled as a prostitute though, sounds like a dodgy strip joint...

  • Tell her. YOU messed up, YOU need to deal with the consequences. If you love her, you owe her the option of choosing to forgive you and continuing with the wedding, or leaving you if it's not something she can handle and get over. That's her right, and I feel that you gave up yours when you screwed up and didn't resist. Being drunk is not an excuse.

    • I said "please don't", but she continued. No means no. She took advantage of my condition. Yes I came. But I didn't want to.

Most Helpful Guys

  • nooooo dude! Don't tell her okay, some things are meant to be a secret. Pretend it never happened, you were set up anyway. It's the kind of things that happen on stag parties plus she's just a stripper, it's not like you were cheating on her.

  • Would a woman tell you if she had done something wrong? How do people get themselves into situations like this?

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What Girls & Guys Said

9 2

  • You at least need to get tested! If that stripper gave you a bj so easily, God knows where she's been!

    How would you feel if you gave your fiance an std?

  • I have a feeling we've all been duped...

  • Wow, you sound like a keeper. Are you accidentally going to get blow jobs every time you're drunk and around strippers. I have no problems with bachelor parties or strip clubs and I wouldn't have any issues if my boyfriend wanted to go to one...as long as he kept his hands to himself and his d*ck in his pants. If I were your fiancee and I found out about this there would be no wedding...and if there were still wedding bills that needed to be paid you'd be paying them as well.

    • Lay off him jesus lol

    • He can't control himself now he won't be able to control himself later, he's not doing this girl any favors by marrying her

  • well aren't you a winner. well I'd personally tell him to go f*** himself from now on. but that's my honest personal opinon...oh and by himself.

  • Tell a few years from now. I personally wouldn't be that upset if my fiance did this & I sure wouldn't call of the wedding (I mean... it's just a stripper, right?), but I still wouldn't want to know something like that right before the wedding.

    • I'm sorry but it's a damn bachelor party. At the end of the day, I'm not insecure & he's coming home to me, not the stripper. I don't know any bachelor or bachelorette party that's not wild & crazy. I'd be crazy to call off a wedding over a simple blowjob from a stripper that doesn't want my man anyway. Call me crazy, but I could care less.

    • I gave you a thumbs up because you desserve it ! I feel the same way tho I mean if it's just a stripper . I mean don't get me wrong it would bug me if my man did that but your right at the end of the say he comes home to the one he loves.

    • lol thanks. I mean to each its own, but that's just my personal opinion. The thing that scares me the most about cheating is not the act itself, but the possibility that he still might have feelings for her. A stripper that he may never see again? Ehh, not so much. I'm not saying it's right, as I would naturally still feel jealous. But it wouldn't bother me to the point of a deal breaker. Maybe I have too much male-mentality? :/

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  • You shouldn't be getting blowjobs from a stripper while your engaged even if your drunk ;/

  • That's horrible. :/ you should tell her .. But wait a while, I wouldn't even wanna get married to you if that happened to me. I'd be so pissed I'd call off everything,

    • Shes right that is horrible and your girl probably would call everything off that's exactly why you take this to your grave

    • Not even your grave, put in your will a order to torch your brain in a 2000C deg incinerator after dying and scatter the ashes over several miles in a undisclosed location on the map on the opposite hemisphere carried out by a undisclosed agent of the lawyer who writes the will.

    • Alanaaa, I didn't do it on purpose. I'm wasted. If you gave a BJ during your stagette, would you tell?

    • Show All

  • If it is and always has been part of YOUr character to be truthful, then tell. If it won't bother you and you have always been like that, don't tell and wait for it to come out in the wash one day. If she asks, then tell, never runway from what you did, and you said you were drunk.

    • I would still marry you and now reading your response...THIS WAS A JOKE AND A SETUP. Pretty clever! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • How are you not dying of guilt, I would have stopped her, but that's me, now you're going to have to live with it.

    I would tell her.. but I wouldn't have ended up in that situation in the first place, so I'm kind of bias...

  • Free pass via the Man Card.

    • Honeymood threesome sounds in order

  • That's a tough one. If you really are getting married tomorrow, I think you should focus on that. You should tell sometime.. maybe not your wedding though. But, anyway, be prepared for some negative consequences. I'm sure you should know that that's really not acceptable.. so it won't go down too well. It all depends on your soon to be wife.

    I can't imagine what the guy said, take it to your grave.. wouldn't you feel guilty. Do you really want to have lies with her?

    Good luck.

    • These guys seem to vote on keeping it a secret.. great.. Picture that being your girlfriend or wife and another act. Yeah, that's alright? She should just take it to her grave. You two will unknowling have an open relationship or some affairs. (a little extreme) Isn't it better to say the truth? You can get through it. It shouldn't be done, but it is what it is. It's better to face it than be a coward, non? There are the consequences.. It is tricky.

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