Sorry to burst your bubble but it's probably not that you're too big for her. Most likely she just can't relax. So.
First up: stop for now. She's probably just as upset as you about it, if not more so. That or she's got some kind of inhibition about having sex with you - may be her first time, might have been a while, maybe she got hurt before, perhaps she doesn't quite feel like you've been together for long enough but doesn't feel like she can say no without looking like a tease, etc.
Secondly: by no means should you press harder! You said it causes serious pain - it really REALLY is painful when a guy just forces. Like seriously - try scraping something really tightly, unlubed down yourself. Anyway. Step by step:
1) Take some time off trying. Don't tell her exactly how long - maybe for you it's best to decide an exact time frame (or maybe not, whatever works) but if you tell her you're not going to try for another week, she may spend that week worrying about what'll happen when the time's up. Just say you won't push it (excuse the pun) for a while. And don't. Make sure she's totally comfortable with you in other ways. The more you can do that, the more open she'll be to having sex with you, even on a subconscious level (which may be the part that's holding back here)
2) Romance her a little. Say you're taking 2 weeks without trying it. Spend the first weekend doing something really nice and not having sex, then do something for her the next weekend as well and work your way towards sex as follows...
3) Foreplay. Half an hour of it! If you have to, make sure you're facing a clock that you can glance at. You can be talking to her etc, which I vote you do all day =P when you're cuddled up later you can kiss her - this is where foreplay starts. Just kiss for 5-10mins. If you love her, tell her you love her (and if you don't, don't. It'll come back to haunt you when she realizes you're just saying it to get her to sleep with you. Probably within the next 20mins...) Hold her closer, touch her legs, slip your hand up her shirt, go lower - but don't go near her vagina. Touch the inside of her thighs lightly or something.
4) Given more time, you can both get naked. This may sound stupid or obvious, but remember you're still with the same person you were half an hour ago - guys find it much easier to flip the switch between everyday life and sex than girls do. So, you're naked and you're cuddling or whatever. Grab some lube (go for normal water-based, nothing crazy yet!) and touch her clitoris. Find some online guides if you don't know what to do there.
5) Did I mention you're on a really cushy bed? No walls or chairs or mattresses with poky springs if you can avoid it. Be as comfortable as you can. Also be as lubed up as you can, both of you if possible. Then you can finger her gently. Go for the G-spot - it's really not as hard to find as people say it is! Google will tell you.
(To be continued...)1 1 0 0(...Continued!)
6) Think of it more like an internal massage. Make sure you give her other things to enjoy as you do so, like kissing her neck. The combination will work much better. Don't go straight for the boobs unless you know she enjoys that. You may be able to use your thumb on her clitoris at the same time here, which might help bring her to orgasm.
7) If she does - great! Spend a while kissing etc and just being naked and the chemistry will build between you. Touch her again and you'll probably feel that she's relaxing a little. Do that for a little while, but before she orgasms again (if she would) begin to gently penetrate her. More on that in a sec. If she doesn't orgasm after say 10-15mins of fingering, stop for a little while and do the naked thing, then try again. Basically, keep doing that until you can feel that she's relaxed more.
8) So you're going in. Make sure she knows you're going to be gentle with her. It may sound soppy to you, but it'll help her relax, and this is what you want too. Take a little more lube (or a lot) and touch her while you do it. Hold her labia apart and position yourself, then nudge. Keep nudging. Kiss her while you do it if she seems to like that. If it gets painful, hold your position for a minute - she may become accustomed to it. Keep doing that until you're most of the way in, say 2/3. Then back out and move a little, slowly. Give it 10-15mins until you go faster - otherwise you'll just end up hurting her. Apply more lube as needed. Success!
9) If she doesn't become accustomed to it, pull out and try other ways of getting her turned on again for a little while. You can try it again in a bit. But, 3 strikes and you're out - any more and she'll probably start feeling like you're just not going to give up which may not be a good thing.
If this is the case, I'm no medical professional, but she may have vaginismus. That's a subconscious tightening of the vagina that happens when something tries to enter it that it doesn't want in it. I say 'it' because she may want to relax but just not be able to. Could be down to anything - for all you know, she was raped or abused in her past and it's stopping her from being able to enjoy sex now. In which case, you'll have to be supportive and get her to see a doctor and/or counsellor.
So I know I just wrote loads but hopefully it'll help a little ;) I know it probably all seems really cheesy and whatnot, but once you've got it down once, it'll get easier and easier as time goes by and you can do otherstuff. Good luck!1 1 0 0I'm not exactly a virgin basically all those things have already happened, I don't want to hurt her. It's actually me that's getting hurt. She's so small that I have a hard time not bending myself as I try to go inside her.
How about her? If she is a virgin that could be contributing towards it. Either way, I think you should still try to get her to loosen up more, and definitely go for loads of lube.
Sounds to me like she is not totally relaxed and not relaxed her vagina. Maybe a bit more foreplay is needed or maybe she just isn't totally ready for this yet.
0 0 0 0
Most Helpful Guys
dude, sum chicks are like that...ill tell you what hardly ever fails...
Watch a comedy with her, then a chick flick...make sure the room is really warm...chicks dig heat lol, put on a soft light...now, here comes the most important part...both of you get as drunk as a flippin skunk! be playful...tease her, blind fold her...have thee longest 4play session known to man, don't even focus on having sex! If you take your time she'll be the one that will try and speed it up, annd when she's absoutely gagging for you, slide in about 3inches of yourself, slowly!..then with a slow rythm, do that over again for 30 seconds, then go back to playful passionate kissing and foreplay.
The aim is to convince her that you want her, nt just her vagina. A females body has various ways of being sexually stimulated...take your time to find them, that's another way of bonding with her on a deeper level...The deeper the bond, the deeper trust, the deeper the vagina lol
Buuuuuuut if you really can't be arsed to put that much effort in. then crack open the alchol and skip str8 to the loob loool0 0 0 0Do these girls have vagina's here? Answers were kind useless.
I'm thinking this has to be her first time, if not in short, consult a doctor.
This could be caused by nervousness. I used to date a girl who would tense up before sex and until she relaxed would hurt her. This would also cause a lack of natural lube. So being relaxed is a must.
Be patient, go slow, try a good bit of foreplay beforehand, get her ready. Then gently while keeping her calm try again. Add lube as needed.
If all else fails, yes, try a doctor.0 0 0 0
Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions
What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!What Girls & Guys Said
4 3Guy,there are no doctors here or whatever,u cn get real help @ medhelp.org...
0 0 0 0LUBE!
Go slow & It'll work :)0 0 0 0Stop trying to have intercourse for now. She will open in time, particularly with the first baby.
For now, become the world's foremost expert on giving oral sex. Include well lubricated two-finger (side by side) fingering. This will open her out with little or no trauma. The stretching will cause a little soreness the next day but that will diminish in time.0 0 0 0Dud are you puting it in the right one, vagina not anus, maybe try more lube, or find another girl with a larger vagina so you can fit...
0 1 1 0just stop. if you actually carea bout her don't hurt her. give up
0 0 1 2
Most Helpful Girls