I use HIM for sex?! I thought he was using me?

I hang out with this guy on occassion. When we do we "have fun" but we also talk and watch TV or movies and I even invited him to my BBQ! I am the one to text him and ask to hang out but not always just for sex, and most of the time I feel like he initiates it. But he's said several times now that he feels like I use him for sex! When I said we should hang out next time and not do anything sexual, he said "with no gratification" that it will be easier for him than me. I know I have a high sex drive, but it was never my intention to use him or make him feel used because he's fun to be with. Does it sound like I use him and was his comment "easier for me than you" supposed to be an insult to my intentions or that he's not attracted to me?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Talk to him.

    That's the easiest way to clear things up.

    Were he just using you for sex - he wouldn't care if you were doing the same thing. Were you just using him for sex, you wouldn't care to do the other things.

    Basically to me, it sounds like he has a problem with this arrangement, or at least wants to know what it is. At least wants to know if it is just something based on sex.

    You can't blame him for wanting clear boundaries and understanding.

    It might be that he's grown interested in more, and thinks you haven't. Or that he thought you were heading for more from the start.

    The only way to know for sure is to talk to him about it; everything else is just going to be speculation and 'could bes'

  • Guys sometimes use this reverse psychology on girls if they think that her booty favors may be slipping out of his grasp. It's an easy way to take the pressure off of themselves and to reassert that the relationship is simply sexual and that it was as much the girl's decision as theirs. When you start inviting them places, they start to think you want to force them into a boyfriend role. If they wanted that, they would have went for it. Hence, they try to trick you into thinking that the sex-only position was something that you accidentally negotiated on your own.

    • That's what I thought that he was playing mind games with me. The only reason I started to doubt it is because he's said twice that he would hang out with me without fooling around and I reassured him multiple times that he didn't have to come to my BBQ. But maybe he's just really good at being sneaky...

    • Talking to him honestly is the best way to figure out what's going on. Also, know what you want from the situation. Do you want sex or do you want more? Tell him THAT, instead of also trying to wiggle it out of what's going on...

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well now, that's just all kinds of ass-backwards, now isn't it?

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