I used to think I was straight?

[Anonymous]

But then I started developing an attraction to intelligent men, I don't really understand what's going on, because physically men are boring, but something about the way a really intelligent guy talks turns me on, it seems so exciting contrary to the banal flirting most girls exude. However, I also feel a strong attraction for women, to whom I am physically attracted to, but less often mentally. I doubt many other people have this problem, but how do you deal with an attraction that you know will forever be rejected? Sometimes you want to be a little shallow, but for me it's hard, I'm not saying that I hear a guy say E=MC^2 and I get a boner, but the idea of looking into a man's eyes and talking about philosophy and love, is not something that I find impossible, in fact, the idea seems almost equally appealing as doing the same with a woman.

[l-hedoniste]

So you're bi, with a preference for intellectual men. Gotcha. So stop sighing at them and date one already. Your luck will be best with bi/gay/queer men, for obvious reasons.

"I am not attracted to homosexual men, they are too feminine for me." This is stereotyping. You're not attracted to *feminine* gay men. Many, perhaps most, can seem straight when necessary.

Are you out yet? Are you dating, men especially? Because this is the sort of problem I would expect you to be able solve straightforwardly, without all the pining and drama.

[KarKingJack]

Sounds like your on the road to becoming bisexual, maybe? And you've found that attraction coming from a different direction than the physical. I honestly don't know how that would end up, if you might start finding the physical side of men attractive or you might just end up liking what you already like but more, and it'd stop there. I dunno.

Just be open minded, explore your thoughts and desires. It might end up just being a confusion of feelings, mistaking inspiration for sexuality or something, or it might not. =]

[KarKingJack]

I don't know how I'd deal with that. Not all gays are girly, though. There's a lot of homosexuality among academics, who aren't necessarily masculine or feminine.

[Asker]

It could very well be. Perhaps my hormone levels are just a bit unbalanced, but I've noticed it since the 4th or 5th grade, I developed my sexuality and sense of love very early on. And I would like to explore one day, but today (in the general sense of the word) is not that day.

[KarKingJack]

Ohhh, I see. Huhh. It sounds consistent then. And yeah, I get that. Good luck then

[Anonymous]

something about the way a really intelligent guy talks turns me on... the idea of looking into a man's eyes and talking about philosophy and love" mhm.. I love that too ha.

I think you're attracted to a certain mentality, I don't think this makes you gay.. I just think you have to find women that can have that mentality. But, you can always try exploring those feelings with men and see where they lead you. How do you know that this attraction will never be fulfilled? Not all homosexual men are feminine, you know.

[Asker]

Because I know for sure the men that I have felt this way for have been exceptionally straight lol. And yeah, I agree with you, it is almost completely the mentality, but very few women I have met have had these quality's, but maybe I'm just meeting the wrong women, so I've had to rely on men to give me the responses I crave.

[Opinion Owner]

i believe you're right, try looking for different types of women.

[slipslender]

what's your question? this just seems like introspection...

[Asker]

Heh, sorry about that, I was getting caught in my emotions

[Anonymous]

Could you be confusing attraction to the person with sexual attraction?

Nothing wrong with liking someone because of who they are. Doesn't mean that the attraction needs to be sexual or become sexual. I think it is common for younger people to confuse the two.

[Asker]

No, I definitely feel a sexual attraction.