If a guy is still a virgin in his early 20's, is that too old? should he lose it to a hooker or an escort?

and this guy is in his early 20's, from the age range 20 to 24, should he just lose it already? I did not choose to be a virgin this long, I just have no game, I don't know how to get a girlfriend because obviously I have never had one, I just want to get the monkey off my back as soon as possible, c'mon, I feel that most people should lose their virginity before age 25, c'mon, how many people do you know who are still virgins or did not lose their virginity until age 25 or older? I bet none or not that many.
Updates:
+1 y
I hate how us guys always have to be the ones to initiate everything, and every type of thing with girls
+1 y
I don't like being a minority
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • Where I'm from escorts are legal and regulated and STD checked weekly as a requirement by law. Where I live I have about 57% chance of catching an STD from any woman, so a escort that can prove she is STD free is a lot safer then flipping a coin with a bar or night club hookup.

    I'm have the same problem at 24, but since I was a hard worker focusing on my grades throughout school and Uni I missed out simple as that. I came to realize that girls now days just don't value their or a guys V card.

    I also never get dates, girls just turn me down point blank. I do admit I'm overweight at 74kgs. I even tried online dating but came to the conclusion that it was only for hookups and a major scam to get money out of guys, that being said when there are 45 girls 20-25 in my area and 960 guys looking.

    I've coming to terms with giving up on looking for someone special because I just don't see it happening. So I'm saving up for an escort who offers overnight GFE. Since I'd like my first time to be special I'm looking at hiring an escort for 2 days and 1 night so I'm looking at $3000-$4000.

    Since I'd like it to be special I'm looking at making the experience romantic since it would also be my first date with a girl (escort but well aware), my plan is to hire a room from a hotel on the beach front for the evening, during the day go shopping for clothes and swim wear/beach wear and have fun at the beach, in the evening go out to a steakhouse near the beach and then some *fun* at the hotel. The following morning I'd make her breakfast in bed. (Just happens to be one of my fantasies to make my girlfriend breakfast in bed, but I don't have a girlfriend so an escort will have to do) So I think to be on the safe side I should save up about $5000 for this.

    I don't really care about what lies women sprout to make me feel bad about this at the end of the day the fact remains that girls don't find me attractive at the least, so I feel this is something I have to experience to feel human again. I am alone in my life with no girl every being interested in me, whilst having this *monkey* on my back making me feel even more miserable about life.

    I can accept it and be miserable or I can be proactive and do something about it.

    • if only it was legal

  • everyone is a minority in something...

    do you listen to mainstream music?

    do you eat the same food as everybody else does?

    do you wear the same clothes, go to the same places, like the same sports the mainstream do?

    I bet you can't answer yes to all these questions.

    you're special in your own way.

    would you judge a 25 year old guy/girls if he/she is still a virgin?

    no?

    why would you worry about the stupid f***s that would judge you for it, then?

    --

    I understand that you want to have sex if you stil haven't though (but keep in mind it's NOT urgent at all!), and believe me I know exactly how you feel so I'll try to help you.

    A few months ago I felt like I had no 'game' as well, was too shy to approach girls and therefore never got in contact with them.

    If you want to meet girls, confidence is the key.

    The way to improve your confidence is to first make sure you feel good about yourself.

    Get some new clothes, do your hair, put on some fragrance.

    Then get a little drunk(not wasted but just a little loose) with friends, go to a club, have fun and first look around for a bit. If you do this you'll notice some girls looking at you and looking away when you look at them. If this happens, this means she noticed you and probably like you, so walk up to her. DON'T worry too much about pickup lines, because they're bullsh*t. Pick-up lines are just lame and they distract the attention from the actual conversation, which is way more important.(trust me on this, ask experienced guys, most of the times you pick up a girl or get her number, you DON"T know what the first thing you said to her was). I can hear you thinking, what should I say/do then? Well, remember confidence is the key, so her first impression of you has to be that you're confident. Move close to her, dance in front of her a bit(like 1/2 meters distance, try and make eye-contact. If she looks back and smiles to you, talk to her, say 'hey, you look cute, my name is ...' or just 'hey/hi' or 'ask where's she's from', it REALLY doesn't matter what you say as long as you act confident ;)

    • why do girls love confidence so much?

Most Helpful Girls

  • Losing it to a prostitute is not really losing it. Sure you had sex, but it was only because you paid a girl. I don't think it changes the problem. You may not be a virgin at 25 if you pay someone but that's not getting the monkey off your back. You'd still be someone who never got a girl. That's the real issue, not the fact that your penis hasn't touched pussy.

    Will you really be proud of yourself for doing that? Wouldn't you feel better about yourself if you got a girl to give it to you.

    In one comment you ask 'isn't it less manly to be a virgin?'. How would a guy who had to hire someone to lose it be more manly than one who didn't? He wouldn't. The guy who waited to find someone he didn't have to pay is the man.

    Dude, you're only 23? You're going to have plenty of women in your life. When you're married with kids, do you want to have to look back and remember you paid a woman to be your first? When your future wife asks about your past, do you want to have to tell her you hired a whore as your first? Even if you lie about it, you'll feel like sh*t.

    • yeah but a guy's track record with girls is meaningless to girls, that's what I read in a book, yes I would feel better if I got a girl to give it to me but paying for it is probably the only way I can get it

    • That's not true. You believe everything you read in books? I can tell you right now the biggest turn off about a guy's past for girls is someone who's been with prostitutes. For many reasons. Two of the big ones are: it's dirty. It instantly brings to mind disease and filth. If you've gotten it on with a non-prostitute, ignorance is bliss, we don't know where she's been. If you got it on a whore, we know where she's been - with tons of dirty guys (and even if she uses condoms, they break a lot).

    • The second big thing - and this is probably even bigger than the first, is we think guys who go to prostitutes are sleazy. I'm sorry, that's just the image we get. And that image is even worse if he goes to prostitutes because he can't laid. Nobody wants to marry some guy goes to prostitutes. We don't want to have sex with them, we don't want to have their children, and we sure as hell don't want to spend our lives with them. Guys who go to prostitutes have no self-respect. I'm sorry, but

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  • Well, frankly I think its abso. great your a virgin ! I don't see the big deal in being a minority.. I may be old fashioned and all that but you should just wait.. you wanna get frickin AIDS HUH HUH HUH ? or an STI HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH

    Lol but seriously, I don't see the deal in being the minority.. it is a good thing, means you're living above the influence and not following the crowd... and WTF is the world doing with their noses all up in your business as year status of "having sex" ? Everyone thinks I had sex already and I just don't give a sh*t about what people say let them think about what they want !

    As with having a girlfriend... I think that its great when a guy comes to you to be your friend and not to be your boyfriend... Just talking to you... to like a person is to know them to love a person is to accept them flaws and all... and you just need to talk to girls.. even if its admitting you can't talk to them ! or don't know what to say.. or "Im shy" lol its simple :) we don't bite !

    • a lot of people have STD's and are still alive you know

    • soooo because yu don't want to be a minority yu prefer to get a std or something.. live be miserble and really not get any girlfriend because yu have it ...

    • gosh it's so much easier for you girls

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  • Don't worry about it.People lose their virginity at different times.Have sex when YOU are ready...and hopefully not to a prostitute.Please..not to a prostitute.

    • yeah but I don't feel it's right to still have your v-card in your 20's, most people lose it before they reach 20

    • Who cares what most people do?Alot of people have random sex and stds.Would you want to be grouped in with them too?You don't feel it's "right"?I don't think it's an issue of right or wrong.I think it's about doing what's best for you.So what that the time hasn't come around...it will though.Some people lost their virginity to someone and ended up regretting it.If I were you,i would wait until it felt right.Get over the shame or the embarrassment of not fitting in with the majority.

    • I care about what most people do, because I don't like being different

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What Girls & Guys Said

37 27
  • No, I find that sexy and empowering, and really clean; given that in this day and age, you can literally die from having sex with a person. God forbid it's unprotected. I'm almost 21, and I am still a virgin. So, I can definitely relate and understand where you're coming from, but what helps me, Is why I have chosen to wait. Once you understand that, then solidify it, and do something about it. Good luck, and don't go crazy! Just live your life, that way you won't have time to notice the hornyness, until you meet the girl you feel is worth having sex with.

    Jamaica Outttttt

    • well easier for you

    • How so, what makes you think, it's so "easy" or easier for me? Nothing is easy honey! Jamaica Outttttttttt

    • yeah because you girls just have to welcome or deny advances

  • No it isn't a big deal, and no you shouldn't "lose it" to a prostitute. For one thing, some guys lose their nerves when... playing against a professional. Imagine playing tennis against John MacEnroe and see how nervous you feel.

    • yeah but I'd like to get the monkey off my back to give me a confidence boost

  • One of the most attractive guys I know was 23 when he lost his virginity and no girl laughs about it or cares. Waiting to have sex has nothing to do with how smart, hot, or interesting you are, it's a personal choice some guys make and are comfortable with. I've never known a girl who would have issue with this. If anything, restraint and will power are rare traits that are admirable.

    • well I'm 23 and still a virgin, can't picture losing it anytime soon

  • i hope I dnt sleep with a prostitute your first time. that's not gonna gain you that much experience in terms of how to please a woman neway nd then when you do meet the right girl you'll have to explain to her at some point that the only other person you ever slept with was some whore..awkward!

    • so what? it was the only way he could get it

  • I think you shouldn't lose it to an escort. But the whole thing with the first time is special, is a little over-rated.

    • yeah but I don't know how to get a girlfriend

  • Awwww bab. I don't think its to late, actually I think its kinda cool, and surly most people loose there virginity so soon as because in there peer groups and in hast they f*** anything lol Its a touchy subject because its a big thing but at the same time it isn't. My ex was 21 when he lost his, and my brother was 20, and he had rules and he still has em, he won't sleep with anyone, he won't sleep with some one on first date and he likes to date them properly before he f***s em. Meh different people. My now boyfriend was 14 so you know.

    Can I ask why you haven't had sex yet. Is it that you are picky? Quite? Do you go out to clubs, pubs, work? Collage? Anywhere you can meet women?

    Are you looking for a shag or an actual relationship? Sometimes if you try to hard to actually get something or accomplish it, you actually do the opposite..

    As I have told friends in the past, just be patience and in the mean time maybe practise in your technique.. Hmmm...

    • well at least they lost it before 23, the older you get the harder it is to lose your virginity, well for guys only

  • Hmm why is being a virgin such a big deal for a guy...I think it'd be perfect to lose my virginity to a guy who is also losing his virginity to me...i think thatd be super sweet. Wait for your right girl. Being a virgin makes you stand out from all the other guys out there whose only focus is getting their next piece of ass.

    Some girls do like experience. But seriously I think that sexual experience isn't nearly as important as the connection to people have.

    • yeah losing my virginity would give me confidence, and girls want that

  • Dude just pick up some ugly slut at the bar if you are that desperate. Bang some fat chick. Go after the girls that gross you out, maybe that helps you in the game department. lol

    • f*** that, I refuse to initiate that's why

  • Don't lose your virginity to a hooker. :( Honestly, most girls like virgin guys because they have no experience, and therefore have no expectations. ^.^ And besides, no girl will actually be able to tell that you're a virgin (you don't bleed and scream in pain when you first have sex.) You can always just lie about it.

    • girls may say they want a virgin guy but they never give him a chance, always deny his advances

  • nothing wrong with bieng a v at 20 I waited till the right guy came along, but for the love of god don't lose it to a prostitute its nasty and I don't think if you told your future girlfriend about it she won't be happy thaats really gross. people lose their virginity at the right time because they wait till that right person comes along. its not wrong to be a virgin at 20 you should be proud of it

    • i'm 23

    • yes, so, personaly if I was with a guy and I know he lost his virginity and has been sleeping with a lot of girls it would gross me out

    • but isn't 23 too old to be a virgin for a guy?

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  • That's one of the stupidest thing I heard today. Losing virginity to an escort? Eventually you will find the right girl. Don't be so desperate, good things happen to those who wait.

    • well guys can't wait you know

  • Look dude, you're obsessing. That's obvious. So I'm gonna say this. Listen to me...or READ me on this:

    THE FIRST TIME IS SOMETHING YOU'LL NEVER FORGET.

    Now I'm not saying that in a "Now go out there and nail some poon! Yeah!" kinda way. I'm saying that in a "Think about it seriously." kinda way.

    I said what I said in caps because no matter the route you choose, it's the FEELINGS that will haunt you. The recall will be fresh for a couple of years but it's later, a decade or so, when you look back on it that the experience really has it's affect. And those feelings are forever, just like that memory. This is one of those choices in life that can be filled with regret and "I wish I hadn't..." or "Man, how did I luck out there, I'm glad I..."

    So think about it. Think about if it's worth it to go the cheap route and do the hooker thing or some random person you met in a bar or a thoughtless drunken at stupor at some party. Because no matter what, the feelings along with that experience may very well last longer than the memory of the girl you do it with.

    It's up to you. What feelings do you want to be associated with that memory? That memory that will last you for the rest of your life.

    Personally, I DO remember her name, unfortunately I was hasty in my NEED too and I didn't find out about the girl. Now regret is part of that experience and all I have of that IS the age I lost my virginity. And how special is that? Answer: not very; not very at all.

    Think on it. - Nuff said -

    • yeah but I should lose it to boost my confidence and confidence attracts women like honey does to bees

  • Eh, I don't think it's a big deal. So what, you're a virgin. You totally shouldn't lower yourself to taking a hooker in your case. Just wait and I'm sure you'll catch some lucky girl's eye.

    • well I don't know how to get a girl

    • First step: Confidence. If you've got that, you're like, half way there!

    • unfortuneately that's a lot of work

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  • man improve your self.

    the fact that you are that desperate and considering to lose virginity to hookers

    shows that you are not attractive at all

    • thats what I hate, us guys have to improve ourselves more than girls do

    • take it positively, improving your self is bestest thing you can do to your life. Also, if you observe carefully those who keep trying improve themselves succeed in their lives. If you didn notice the fact that girls keep trying improve themselve, look at their make-ups and craze for shopping ... those show their efforts to attract guys.

    • yeah but it's more work for guys than it is for girls

  • um I don't know what to say. I think everyone recieved sex education in grade 12 where I live in high school and my answer to your question is

    no

    one word; STDs

    end of point

    • but a lot of people have STD's and are still alive

  • It's not a rush to lose your virginity. If you have to, go on a dating site or something or ask a friend to help you with the ladies. Losing it really isn't anything special. It shouldn't matter how old you are.

    • i've already tried online dating, no luck

  • I don't think you should rush it. like seriously u'd have sex with a hooker just to lose it? uck. imagine how many stds are crawling inside hookers. at least wait till you find just a girl that wants to have sex with you and not someone you have to pay for. cause yeah, I'm going to pay this chick so I can get an std isn't very smart. its not that big of a deal. trust me.

    • so what, a lot of people have STD's and are still living healthy lives

    • the disease in std makes them not healthy...

    • and like OK, lets say you don't get aids. lets say you get a disease where you still live..like herpes. nuff said.

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  • Read The Game by Neil Strauss. Apparently it works. o.O

    • well for mentally, physically normal guys yes

    • We're all abnormal in some ways. Secret is to love your abnormalities :D

    • I know it's not right to make exuses but some people have a right to make excuses

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  • Lose your virginity for the right reasons and not because your pals or everyone else around you make you feel like the odd one out. It takes a strong minded person to make the right choices.

    • and it takes a stupid person not using common sense, to change something that is hurting them.

  • So because most people lose it before their twenties, you have to follow? That's hideous, so if most people become fathers at an early age or like to catch STDs, you're going to copy that trend?

    • yeah but most people STD's live healthy lives

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