If I have an STD but haven't cheated, what do I tell my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

So here's the story. Before I met my boyfriend, I had an encounter where a guy touched his own genitals and then fingered me. I was tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea 3 days later and it was negative. Since then I have had no symptoms. About a week later I met my current boyfriend, and we've been dating ever since (about 4 months). I'm getting paranoid again, even though I have no symptoms, because those STDs cause infertility. My boyfriend said he was tested right before we got together as well, so we eventually stopped using condoms. I still feel fine but I'm going to get tested anyway just out of paranoia. I'm so afraid that my first test was a false negative, and that I've had an STD all this time, or that my boyfriend had a false negative the first time and gave me something. I have NOT cheated on him and I don't think he's cheated on me, but I know that if I have something and I tell him, he'll think I cheated! What do I do? Just to be clear, I haven't done this second test yet so this could be all in my head, I just want to be safe.

[Anonymous]

take the second test and take it from there... if it is a no... then relax... if it is a yes then explain what happened and tell him you did take a first test and it was negative... then have him go get tested. When you do have an std normally you have signs and break outs when you start having sex regularly so if you don't have a breakout or any symptoms then you are probably worrying for nothing honey... relax... get tested to put yourself at ease...

[Asker]

But don't you think he'll just assume I cheated on him?

[Opinion Owner]

If you have given him no reason to not trust you and explain the situation then I am sure everything will be fine.... stop worrying until you know for sure honey... stress isn't good on the body.

[Inkweaver2]

I read your question and some of your responses. You really need to calm down. 1. I doubt you will have an STD. 2. If you do, just tell him what you told us. T-R-U-S-T! It is a very important thing. Explain things and if he doesn't believe you it is his fault. If the situation was reverse, and you didn't believe him, it would be your fault.

Main thing I'm trying to say is take a breath, it is going to be fine.

[jlynn151]

Take him to the doc with you and lay everything out on the table. Make sure you ask questions like ..could it have been a false test..or could it have been too early to diagnose..make sure he's there and understands all of the possibilities so that there is less confusion and false accusations.

[CaramelSkin]

Just be in upfront and direct with your man. Be honest with him about what your body is feeling. If he's a real guy he'll be mature about it since this issue is regarding your past and help you. That's what I would do...

[budphillips]

Just tell him you want to get tested again, both of you, together, in case of a false negative. Tell him it's something that is really important to you and you'd really appreciate if he did it with you.

Also, wear condoms. I know he probably doesn't like it, but why, why, why, why, why take the chance?

I think STD paranoia is normal, how can it not be in today's day? Just be careful and you'll be fine. :]

[Asker]

The thing is, we just became long distance so I can't get us tested together. I know his sexual history and he probably doesn't have anything serious but it's possible that he could have had chlamydia or gonorrhea which are very common. But honestly if your girlfriend had one of these because of a false negative, don't you think you would be suspicious?

[SLL2019]

If you have gave him no reason to not trust you and you explain the story then I am sure all will be well.... but STOP worrying until you know for sure cause I can bet you 100% you're just trippin over nothing

[dave216]

I wouldn't care too much how you got it. I would want it corrected. Get tested and if there is a problem, deal with it after you know something. I would not want to rely on that first test, it was done too soon for accurate results. Get tested.

[Asker]

A doctor told me it was not done too soon (because I was only testing for 2 STDs that can be checked soon) but who knows...

[l-hedoniste]

Like you just told us, tell him.

[Asker]

But would you believe your girlfriend if she told you this?

[gotc147]

I would, unless I've been given a previous reason to believe that she's cheated on me.

[l-hedoniste]

Agreed. I wouldn't be suspicious unless she behaved suspiciously.

[bubbles91]

What if u never gave him a reason but still doesn't believe you cause he is mentally unstable an just crazy as hell like I can't leave without someone or he thinks I'm cheating

[Anonymous]

I don't think false negatives are very common, try to relax. Tell your boyfriend nothing, but get tested again just for your own peace of mind.

[Asker]

I would have to tell him, because he would have it too, and I want him to be healthy. If I have it, it was either a false negative or I got it from him, because I've been completely loyal to him.

[Opinion Owner]

Right, but if the second test comes out negative--and I bet it will--you don't have to tell him anything.

[Asker]

Haha obviously, that would just make me look like I had a reason to get tested (which I don't, I'm just paranoid)

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly. So go for another test, and tell him nothing. Except if you get a positive, and I'm sure you won't.