Is 16 too young to have sex?

I’ll try my best to make this short, but here is my story: Last Friday, my mom and dad left for a weeks vacation, leaving my older brother (20) and I home alone for the week. Then, on Saturday, my brother left to go camping for a few days with some of his friends. So, it was just me at the house. Well, I got board all by myself so I decided to have some fun. I had a few drinks and called over my boyfriend. It was my first time staying home alone... so, I wanted to have a good time. Ordinarily, my boyfriend isn’t allowed at my house if nobody else is there. But I thought that it would be fine, we could be responsible, and that nobody would find out. Well, we both ended up getting pretty wasted (my first time drinking) and he talked me into having sex with him. we have been together for a year and a half. So, I decided what the heck... why not? Well, my brother ended up coming back early the next morning. My boyfriend (19) and I woke up in my bed both half naked and my brother yelling like none other. He was so upset. He started yelling at my boyfriend and kicked him out of the house. I was so scared, I seriously thought that he was going to beat him up. I have never ever seen him so upset in my whole life. Since then, I have locked myself in my room. I'm scared my brother is going to tell my parents. And if he does... I am toast. I don’t know if I should talk to my brother about this or not. I know he is still really upset with me though. He and I used to be really close. And its not like he is a virgin either... So I would have thought that he would better understand. What should I do? And why is he freaking out this much? His whole... freaking out is quite hypocritical in my opinion.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Well, I'm 21 and still a virgin waiting for the right guy and I think that if I knew what I knew now about sex and guys back then, when I was like 16, then I think that I could have had sex and been okay with that decision now. But personally, I just think that 16 is too young for sex because there are so many consequences that can occur. I think that alcohol played a huge part and you should ask yourself if you would have done those things sober? You should ask yourself if you are ready to have a sexual relationship because he's going to want to have sex again. So, use a condom every time and get on some type of birth control if you're not on it already. 16 and 19 is a big age difference when it comes to a relationship. Your boyfriend probably took advantage of you knowing that you were under the influence of alcohol. Even if you guys have been together for more than a year you should ask yourself if you would be okay if you guys happened to break up one day because sex changes everything. Does your brother approve of your relationship with your bf? They are about the same age and he is probably freak out that a guy his age is having sex with his sister and you are his little sister so of course he's is going to be very protective of you. Eventually you are going to have to come out of your room and face your parents and your brother. Those are just the consequences that you will have to face. Isn't it illegal for a 19 year old to have sex with a minor anyways. Well, my response seems pretty long. So that's my opinion. Hope everything gets better.

  • Its perfectly normal for you brother to act that way. No older brother likes the idea of their little sister having sex. Older brothers are protective of their younger siblings. You should sit down and talk to him about it. Be calm and don't get mad at him and understand why he freaked out. Everyone starts having sex at some point in their life so 16 is not too young as long as you felt like you were ready and were safe about it. Explain to him that you felt like you were ready and that you are aware of having safe sex. Also tell him that its one of those secrets between brother and sisters and that you would really hope he wouldn't tell your parents and instead would deal with the situation on his own. Honestly if he hasn't already told them then its a good sign that he wont. But you still need to sit down and talk with him because you said that you guys are close and you don't want to lose that.

  • I'd be upset if I were your brother too. You had sex because you were bored and drunk? Doesn't sound like you're making good decisions. If you hadn't had sex before and were talked into it while drunk, that's very irresponsible. Are you ready to deal with everything that comes with having sex? Did you even use protection? I would talk to your brother about it all, very seriously. It is your decision when to have sex, but under those circumstances, it seems like a poor decision you made, so that's probably why he's freaking out. Just be grown up about it. If you used protection and all that, explain that. If you felt you were ready, then say that too.

    • Yes, protection was used. aaand... I didn't have the intent of having sex with him. He started talking about it...and I guess one thing let to another. but I don't exactly regret it either. The only reason I'm regretting it, is because I don't want my parents to find out. And I don't want my brother to be mad at me forever.

    • Well think about this. Your boyfriend is much older than you are. I'm assuming he wasn't a virgin. He talked you into having sex, even though that wasn't something you both had talked about before, while sober. If he respected you more, he wouldn't have talked you into anything while you were drunk. You may not regret it now because nothing bad happened, but what if something had happened? You used protection, but you were drunk. What if it wasn't used correctly? If you were ready, you'd be ok with

    • Dealing with your parents and your brother.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guys

  • YOU made a dumb decision.

    YOU were drinking underage.

    YOU had sex.

    YOU deserve to get in trouble.

    YOU were a fool.

    16 is too young by two years. Why the hell you got wasted and then had sex is beyond me. Seems like kids these days are getting into too much trouble. What is the world coming to when a 16 year old gets wasted and bangs a 19 year old? You deserve to get in trouble. Your brother shouldn't cover for you he should tell your parents I know I would. If I ever caught my little sister with a guy you can be sure I would kick his ass. THINK BEFORE YOU ACT HOW HARD IS THIS?!? I feel like I'm the only underage person that does not have sex or drink or do drugs. You know why? I have self control... (Not trying to offend teens that don't do that that's how I feel with society in these times.)

    Note: I'm being brutally honest here and I don't care if you don't like it you made stupid choices. Don't bitch at me it's constructive criticism ok I'm not meaning to offend you I'm just being honest. It's never too late to turn your life around so do me a favor and change your ways. I hate hearing about teens that do this and I want to try to help stop them from ruining their lives. You are so young you will have plenty of time for sex when you are 18.

    • By the way I'm not saying that I'm perfect we all make mistakes.

    • Well, after listening to everybody on here... I've come to the conclusion that you are probably right. I probably do deserve everything coming my way. I wish I could take everything back... but I cant. I am just dreading the day my parents find out.. I hate having to listen to them when I know I'm wrong, its the most humiliating thing ever. i never thought that it would come to this. how stupid. I really want my brother to trust me again. I don't want him to think I'm stupid/ irresponsible

    • Just don't make the same mistake twice

    • Show All
  • All I can say is he's your older brother so yeah he's ganna be pissed he'll always think of you as his baby sister. I've got a younger sister and I've been taught big brothers are born first so they can protect the younger siblings. It really does make me mad to think of her having sex but she's just turned 18 so she can do what she wants and I can't control her life forever. But the best thing for you to do is humble yourself and talk to your brother about it and ask him for help and I think you should talk to your parents about it to so that way you guys can actually move on, if you have a healthy relationship I doubt this will drive a wedge between you and your family. But if you try to hide it it only makes it worse.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • if you're 16 and you're boyfriend is 19, it's statutory rape. he could get in a lot of legal trouble for that

    • Well, we have been dating since he was under 18.... so its not that weird. And he had my consent, if that counts for anything.

  • everyone who has posted so far seems so critical... in my opinion, if you feel okay about it happening (not getting caught, but the actual act itself) then there is nothing wrong with it. I lost my virginity at 14, and I can honestly say I was emotionally ready for it, and I ended up dating that guy for 6 years, eventually getting engaged. it's a personal choice for everyone, so if you feel fine about it, then it is fine.

  • Yes but you have to remember that your his little sister

    brothers are pretty protective anyways

    it probably hurt him that you did that... Sense you guys are close

    if you guys are close you should talk to him about it

    I know it will be hard but if its true that you guys are close everything

    will work its self back to health

  • in a word, yes. 16 is to young to have sex.

    and your brother freaking out about it, is not hypocritical. maybe he, not being a virgin, realizes the dangers both physically and emotionally in having sex to young. I personally see three or four things wrong with this whole situation.

    1. drinking at sixteen

    2. having sex at sixteen (not to mention your boyfriend could get in trouble legally for this)

    3. your brother leaving you home alone

    and maybe 4. your total lack of respect for yourself. "He talked you into having sex with him" your boyfriend sounds like he might not respect you as much as you may think.

    now I'm no angel, but I also have opinions, and mine is this whole situation is messed up :( besides, if your old enough to have sex, your old enough to deal with the real world consequences!

    • I know my brother really shouldn't have left me at home alone. but... I think he trusted me because before this whole thing... he (my whole family for that matter) thought that I was a good girl. I've never done anything like this before. I know drinking was probably a bad choice... but I had never done it before and have always herd about how much fun it was.... so I wanted to try it for myself. idk... I just wanted to be normal for once... and not a goodie too shoes.

    • Recap haha because I suck at writing so here's my advice in point form. - Think about WHY you did it. - Was it worth it? Why? - Talk to your boyfriend about it, tell him how you feel about it. -Tell your parents what happened your self, before your brother does. This may seem like something you really don't want to do but I guarantee that they will be easier on you than if you don't tell them and they find out.

    • Damnit, commented on the wrong post >< sorry lol