Is being on top for the first time a bad idea?

I'm a virgin and thinking about having sex. since I have some trust issues (don't ask) I'd rather be on top because that'd make me feel like I'm the one who's in control. is that a bad idea? I mean, since it's my first time and I have no clue how to do it etc. oh and do all girls have their first time in missionary?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Let's see...how do I say this without sounding too crude...

    If you're a virgin and the guy who's going to be your first is um, well-endowed, you probably don't want to try on top for your very first time because if you're at all nervous it'll be very difficult for him to enter you. They say it's easier because you can control the depth of penetration but trust me, speaking from experience...if you are at all nervous you can pretend all you want that you aren't but that will be a giveaway. The mechanics of the position are pretty basic but if you're nervous you might also feel very self conscious because that's a position where he'll def. be getting the full view.

    I'd suggest trying something where he's in control for starters...and make sure he knows so he'll try to go easy on you until you get comfortable. If you want to switch positions midway through and try girl on top it'll be easier, or try it the next time. Oh & btw...lube helps if you're still nervous.

    • That was some great advice, thank you! what you sai about the full view is true, I wouldn't want him to "observe" me :-/

  • Just be sure to be protected and do what's comfortable for you.

    • Hmm so I'm guessing your first time wasn't in cowgirl position? :)

    • I haven't gone that far yet.

Most Helpful Guys

  • What's up hun,

    Being on top is perfectly fine, but make sure to tell him: "Show me what you want, this is my first time"... He will smile and have a great time experimenting with you... Try it in more ways than one, missionary / any kama sutra / etc... Do what you want!

    Regardless, I'm shocked that you're a virgin still... Ha, that store clerk probably thought you weren't.. I know I'm stunned, I thought you weren't.. No offence of course.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    • Heyhyehey look who's showing up again :D for some reason guys ALWAYS assume that I'm an easy bitch :( and even girls! I recently got introduced to a group of girls and later my friend told them I was a virgin and they were shocked like "whaat? I thought she's one of those girls who make out with different guys every weekend. she looks like she could have anyone she wants". its SO stupid. I don't even dress cheap. but people who don't know me think I'm a whore :(

    • =P Hey, don't be bustin my balls! Yeah, I get the sameeeee thing.. Girls that aren't super attractive will commonly think I'm a player, based on how I talk with them or make them laugh... A lot of them call me "Mr Sex Deprived" because of my old past (inside-group-joke).. Funny part to that nickname, is that I had slept with only one woman since the time I lost my virginity until briefly after we stopped talking last =/ And who are you fooling? You're the super-classy-bitch.. you get who you want!

    • Ahaha you'll have to tell me about mr.sex deprived in in private :)hmm maybe that's it. the girls who said that to me weren't top models either, but they all had a boyfriend. and they dress like guys. I definitely dont, maybe that's what made them think so :-/ and I am NOT a bitch :O I do get what I want IF I want it! its stupid to assume that I'd jump on every hot guy I meet just because I could(sorry if I sound like a snob)

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  • I trhink you should do what you are comfortable with. But you need to communicate it to your partner. Most likely men would want to try many positions and I wouldn't think that you on top would be the first one on their list. But still, you can agree before hand that this is how you want to start. However if it is gonna be always like this then it is gonna be boring.

    • Ohh right, I heard girl on top doesn't really feel good for guys :(

    • Ummm.... not really. I don't see a reason why it wouldn't feel good. It is the thought of a restriction that makes thing s boring. But you can say that your wish ois to have the first 10 minutes on top.

    • Yea that'd be cool :D thanks!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If your on top YOU control the pace or how much you take. If its missionary put your hands flat against his pelvis or lower stomache or a spot to where you can push back if it hurts or let it ease in you.

    • Ok thanks for the advice!

  • you can do if you want to but it will hurt as much but do what you think you feel comfortable with.

    good luck, hope it goes well

    • Hurt as much or more? and I thought it doesn always hurt in missionary?

    • No not always in missionary but we are talking on top for your first time, if you do, just take it slow, you will bleed abit but that's normal as its just the hymyd that's breaking but you prob knew that already, if you want to chat some more email me through this or add me abster_555@hotmail.com

  • It's not a bad idea, but you may feel unsure of what you're doing once you get there. Certainly try it out if you're keen on it.

    • I'd rather feel unsure than used :) thanks for your help!