It's frustrating, certainly. I don't know if I'd describe it as embarrassing, although we tie our masculinity and virility to the ability to have raging hard-ons at the drop of a hat.
There are a lot of factors that can cause a guy to lose an erection. Some of them are physical- erections are directly related to blood flow, so anything that messes with that can have an effect: alcohol, other drugs, lack of sleep, obesity. Arousal is also mental, so stress and anxiety can play a huge role as well. If he's embarrassed about it, don't make a big deal about it. Just do something to reaffirm him, like reminding him how sexy you think he is (for example). The more he focuses on it, the more likely it is to happen again.
I'll admit that it's happened to me a few times. They've all been at times when a) I'd been averaging less than 5 hours of sleep for the week, b) I'd been drinking somewhat heavily (and in one case was near blackout), and c) I was trying to go for the second time that night. One time I just required a little more kissing; one time I just grabbed her hand, put it on me, and said, "Let's see if you can make me hard again"; and one time I just couldn't do it, which was probably my body's way of telling me that I was too drunk and would have thrown up on the girl if I'd tried to have another go.
Overall, don't worry about it. It's not you; just be understanding.
Achieving and maintaining an erection is not always easy for everyone. There are many reasons for not being able to get/maintain a boner ... stress, worry, exhaustion, anxiety, nerves, problems, medical conditions, etc. This can happen to any guy at any time.
I had a f*ck buddy for 7 months where we were having sex every week and there were a couple of weeks somewhere in there when he was having a difficult time getting an erection.
Of course I took it all personally, lol...he told me that he was under a lot of stress and not to worry about it.
Sure enough, after just a week or two, he was back to getting hard quite easily.
Don't worry about it, sh*t happens.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Wouldn't know if it's embarrassing... not yet at least. There could be a few reasons, whether psychological or medical. Sometimes nerves or just inability to control it.
Yeah sometimes a guy can be distracted at the crucial moment and lose it. It can happen, don't look too much into it, and be kind with him.
If you like him, pretend it didn't happen, and if he says anything about it, just say it was no biggie.
heh, more than likely he just got stressed about it or something. I would imagine it's one of his first times and that's fine just make sure y'all make out and what not before hand just for relaxation purposes and whatnot XP
I went soft once when we were in the shower, It was a combination of how f***ing hot it was and she refused to turn down the heat and the fact that I barely knew her and she wanted me to f*** her without a condom.. yuk...
Stress (worrying about other stuff) can cause it. Also getting nervous can also cause it. But yea it is very embarrassing. But if a guy is in that situation with you and he goes soft its probably not your fault. If he wasn't attracted to you he wouldn't be in that situation with you. A few times when I have gone soft it was because of stress or I just got nervous because I was with someone I wasn't totally confortable with so I was worried about pleasing her.
It's usually not the girl's direct fault that a guy goes soft.
Its more aggravating than embarrassing.
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