Guys, Is herpes a deal breaker?

I just found out I have genital herpes. I feel very low about it right now because of the stigma attached to it. The guy I was with knew he had it & still gave it to me without letting me know. I would never want to do that someone & I know i will have to be honest with new potential partners. I would much rather only date someone who already has it. Is it a deal breaker for a man to date a girl with herpes even if she's honest
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  • First of all, let me express my sympathy for your situation. That is truly horrific. I'm sorry that happened to you.

    To answer your question, yes it is an absolute deal breaker for me. This would mean no matter how long we were together or how serious the relationship got we'd never be able to have unprotected sex, I'd never be able to go down on you, I wouldn't be able to even use my fingers on you without wearing a rubber glove, (if I had even so much as a paper cut and your vaginal fluid got in it, I would contract herpes) and of course I'd be putting myself at risk to some degree, even with protected sex of catching the disease.

    I do want to encourage you in that not spreading that disease knowing you have it is the right and honorable thing to do, despite the fact you weren't given the same courtesy and that you disclosing you have it to future partners is the noble and right thing to do.

    I would also suggest that to save yourself unnecessary heartache you only seek out potential partners who have the disease as I highly doubt that won't be a deal breaker for anyone who doesn't have it. As you well know there is currently no cure for it, but it can be managed, and you can still be contagious when you aren't having an outbreak.

    Were you in a committed relationship with this guy or was this just a casual situation?

    I'd also recommend hiring a lawyer and suing him. I'm fairly certain there is legal grounds for you to do so especially if he knew he had it, did not disclose he had it and now infected you. There is no doubt him not disclosing that was evil and I hope he is dealt with ever so severely should you take legal action.

    I wish you the best of luck.

    • This is the most ridiculous response ever. Way to make herpes seem like HIV. Herpes is pretty much chicken pox. You ever have a cold sore? Have you ever actually had a herpes blood test done? there's like a 60 percent chance you have hsv 1 right now. The stigma behind herpes is insane in society. Before anti virals people never thougt twice about herpes. It was a money making campaign by medical companies that tricked society into thinking that its even a thing. I bet you would let a girl with a history of cold sores go down on you but would dehumanize someone who told told you they had herpes. I had cold sores as a kid. Iv had a herpies blood test and i carry hsv1. Why is me kissing someone or going down on them any different then someone with ghsv1 having sex? People who test negative for herpes are the minority. Everyone says they dont have it but they really have no clue. Sure your std check came back clean. I doubt your doctor checked to protect you from stigma.

    • The reality is the only people who know they have herpies are the minority who actually get symptoms. Its a fucked up world we live in. And for the poster. Find out if you have type 1 or 2 hsv. The next time you want to be intimate with someone go in and get std checks. (Which everyone should do anyway) and if this person disagrees then you probably should move on anyway. Insist you want herpes blood tests done. Doctors will be reluctant to do it. there's a 60% chance he already has it. How could someone reject you for something they have? In the unlikely scenerio they do come back negative, let them decide. Dont just tell people you have herpies. It will freak them out. Show them theu already have it. This is the work around to the stigma

    • @BobbyMC HSV 1 is common through the world - In the form of cold sores - HSV2 affects 14% of the worlds population - not common. HSV 1 is the lesser evil in the genital regions. But 80% of people have it and don't know - in the genitals. The stigma is real, because the health risks can be significant, but most times it's just bad luck. I'm sorry that db did that to you, but it's a blip on the road of life! Keep your head up, can happpen to nay of us, and some of us it already has and we don't know because we don't show symptoms.

  • Deal breaker + you should pay somebody to beat the very will to live out of the phagget ass nigga who gave you that shit.

    • This... If he's in CT I'll run the fucker over for free. :D

    • @TheHooptyMiata LMAO lololol

    • #T4MHO + have you paid somebody to beat the shit out of his phagget ass yet? %_%

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What Guys Said

(16)
  • Some guys will find it a deal breaker, but others will be understanding of your situation. However, like @Misnigqa808 said, that guy deserves to have his legs broken.

  • Hell yeah and someone should start a fundraiser since we all agreeing with @Mistnigqa808

    • all we need is about 500$ and i'm sure somebody will slump his ass for the low LOL

  • I can say this. Always be open about it. I met a girl off the internet once and she was really into me and she was very attractive. But once she came over and we got a little physical and I knew we were gonna eventually have sex (so did she). She told me that she had herpes and that she understood if I didn't want to go any further.

    I thought that was very admirable and was so selfless of her. But I did chose not to go any further w/her b/c of it. But I wasn't an asshole about it and she was completely fine about it.

    Yea, if I had it. I would want the girl to have it also. Don't feel terrible about it though. It's not your fault. Always look to heaven, for this life is but a moment.

  • He is an idiot, go to the doctors and see how it can be treated, unfortunately STD's are a risk when sleeping with people. Don't feel low about it though cos it doesn't change you as a person.

  • As long as you're upfront about it and honest and you both know that you have it, it should be okay for some guys, but for many it would be a deal breaker.

    • And I'm so sorry about that last guy who gave you herpes

  • Definitely a deal breaker... unless you're smoking hot.

    When I see some girls I just think to myself, "Man, if she had herpes, she'd still be worth it."

    On the plus side, it's an easy way to lock a guy into a relationship with you.

    • Not the brightest person ever

  • I wear a condom always so for me, not really. I'd just fuck you once and never call again, though, so I'm probably not the kind of guy you want. Anyway for me it wouldn't be a big deal, but you should go savage on the dude who passed you that shit.

  • It isn't a deal breaker for me. Just have to understand it and be careful. Id say it is a deal breaker for a lot of people though. It has a big stigma and a lot of fear around it. I've heard of people sueing for this. May want to look in to it.

  • not necessarily, if I really like the girl and she is worthy to keep then I would educate my self about the safest ways of having intercourse with a person that has herpes, the risk, and the possibilities of having kids. I know it sucks on your behalf but I can guaranteed you it's not the end of life😊 keep your head up sweetie

  • I feel like it would be a good time to post this video. So much of the population is carrying herpes without knowing it that it's rather benign to really give a shit at this point, so no it really isn't much of a deal breaker.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aU4VcOQzQm0
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