Is it weird that I don't get any pleasure from masturbating? And do guys care if a girl masturbates or not?

[Whimzy]

So this has been bothering me for a while now. I'm a virgin and have tried masturbating before but never felt any pleasure from it. I tried closing my eyes and rubbing my hands over my body, fingering down there, playing with my breasts, etc... I even attempted to watch porn, for crying out loud. Nothing works. Am I doing something wrong? Is it natural to not be able to pleasure yourself? I've read so many articles and heard so many times about how girls need to know how to pleasure themselves so they can show their boyfriend how to do it, it makes me kinda worry that maybe I'm just defected or something. By the way, I do get turned on while with a guy, but the fact that I feel nothing while trying to pleasure myself makes me afraid that if I ever have sex that I won't be able to achieve orgasm. On a related note, my guy friend and I had been texting one time back when we dated, and he had wanted me to masturbate while texting him and tell him everything I was feeling. Of course this plan was hot at first but the more I tried the more frustrated I felt, which didn't help make him feel too good either because I ended up faking it for like five minutes before just throwing all my frustrations at him and quit texting. He told me later that it was fine, but I still felt horrible and like there was something wrong with me. My question for the guys: do you care if a girl masturbates or not? My question for the girls: have any of you felt like this? If so, were you able to overcome?

[broadsword]

It's a little unusual but not weird. Some women don't enjoy masturbating. For many reasons usually upbringing or religious belief there are other reasons to but these are the most common. They are told its wrong and dirty. This can have a very negative start to some women's sexual psychology.
Women are very mental in their approach to sex and love so if something early on upsets this balance it can manifest in sad ways. It can mean that women have poor body confidence. Imagine being told its dirty stop it. A child will grow to think her most sexually desirable and pleasure giving area is dirty. Why would a man want to see feel and taste it.
This can all so create a mental block. So cutting off her will to feel pleasure. Simply because It's wrong and dirty. Don't do that. Nice little girls don't touch themselves.
For you I feel you just need to relax. Read a little more on female sexual anatomy and explore your self allow your self the time to let your body giude you. Concentrate on your clitoris and your vaginal roof looking for the ridged meateus that contains your g spot.
Good luck

[Whimzy]

Wow, great answer. For me sex is like the way you said: it's mostly mental. I can't picture myself doing it with someone other than a partner who is extremely close to me mentally and emotionally. I grew up going to a Baptist church for 17yrs of my life, so the idea that women should be modest and sex should involve a mental and emotional connection, isn't lost on me. Thanks for sharing your opinion and for the advice, it's much appreciated.

[broadsword]

Thank you very much for MHO.. Your very welcome I hope it helped

[YepThatsIt]

I care to the extent that its a hot little bonus. Not something that makes her a freak, regardless of how much or little she enjoys it.

Had an ex with this particular problem. Turned out that when I did it for her, she loved it. She also turned out to be a natural when it came to sex. Don't worry too much. Worrying might be half the problem.

Only real downside is that you don't get to feel good on your own. That makes me a sad panda.

[Whimzy]

For the longest time I thought I was alone with this, but I'm starting to notice there are some girls who are like me and can't achieve pleasure on their own. "Worrying might be half the problem," I agree, it makes sense considering when I try to masturbate my mind seems to look only at the goal, which is to have an orgasm of course. Because of this I start becoming stressed in trying to get myself there and only stress myself out more when I can't. And yeah, it's not devastatingly sad but it still sucks that I might end up being one of the few girls who can't feel good on our own.

[YepThatsIt]

This same girl did once confess how bad it made her feel when she couldn't actually feel good imagining us. Naturally that only added more pressure and made it even harder for her. Point being, I get you. In her case, she was able to enjoy it more on her own after we had actually been together too. It's a figurative bump in the road. If you can't go over it you find another path. P:S. Made me feel better than best being the first to show her that new world. Two sides to every coin.

[Whimzy]

Glad you two were able to get over that bump. I hope it works out the same for me too. It's just probably gonna take a little longer than I'd like, but I guess it's not the most important thing in my life at the moment.

[Rainie_]

Maybe you're just not doing it right, some girls think its all about fingering, its not, and to be fair, if I finger myself I don't feel anything but if a guy does it, its amazing... But then when it comes to clit stimulation he usually does it badly (not right place and not for long enough) so I don't feel anything but if I do it on myself its amazing...

And also, I find that things that you do while having sex like playing with the boobs and touching other body parts is so different when you do it by yourself. Just feels so much better when the partner does it rather than you, so don't leave it out when you get to the actual thing.

And I don't think guys care if girls masturbate, its natural, most think its more hot than anything. Plus its good to know yourself and what parts of your body gives you the most pleasure.

[Whimzy]

Makes sense, I've heard that it's sort of like how you can't tickle yourself. There's only a very rare few who can tickle themselves, but most women seem to be able to give themselves pleasure. For me I'm beginning to see it's the other way around. Thanks for sharing your opinion :)

[tinyclit]

You may be a member of a certain percentage of women who have never had an orgasm. But to not even feel any pleasure at all, that I've never heard of. Betty Dodson gives orgasm workshops where she teaches women how to achieve orgasm. She also has some DVDs on the topic. The website is dodsonandross dot com. Her motto is "Better Orgasms. Better World."

[Whimzy]

I'll have to look into that. I've heard about how there's supposedly a way to achieve an orgasm just by thought alone, which actually sounds interesting to me, but I've never gone and tried it before. Thanks for telling me about this.

[tinyclit]

I seriously doubt thought alone is going to permit you to achieve an orgasm. Being in the proper horny mood with all distracting thoughts and anxieties of the day purged from your mind is important. A good multi-speed vibrator might be very helpful.

[Whimzy]

I'm skeptical on the matter, but some people preach about experiencing an orgasm through thought alone. The vibrator is probably much more reliable though, lol.

[Anonymous]

Fingering myself and going in does nothing for me, only clitoral stimulation. But sex is different. And no, you don't "need" to learn to please yourself to show guys. Tbh, most things you read online about sex are bs.

[Whimzy]

I've tried clitoral stimulation before, but that's a no go as well. And I agree, I try to use my best judgement when reading things online but sometimes it's hard to keep those pesky little doubts out.

[Taurus1992]

Guys do not mind at all. Not only will they not chastise you for it they encourage it and dpending on how close you are in a relationship willing to lend a helping hand. No pun intended.

[mistixs]

I have similar issues. I notice that fantasy actually feels more pleasurable than tactile stimulation. Sme women can orgasm from fantasy alone

[Porter21]

No it does not matter if you don’t masturbate. I like to masturbate though sometimes I am not in the mood to masturbate ( not to often)! Though maybe you may enjoy masturbating together with someone. Or maybe you might like having someone masturbating you? I do enjoy when I get hand jobs from my girl! We are all different so what ever you enjoy is good with me! Not every one enjoys masturbating!

[Lexiicedancerxoxo]

Have you tried imagining the things that turn you on with a guy?

[Whimzy]

Yup, but it only ever gets me as far as arousal, not pleasure. And my imagination is vivid, so much so that I'm surprised my parents didn't send me to a therapist growing up because of how well I could and would escape from reality into a daydream world, lol.

[Humping_Tornadoes]

I wouldn't care. If you have tried but just can't get anything out of it then you probably don't focus on the physical pleasure (stimulation of the clitoris and penetration) itself bur rather the "emotional" self-service that you can get by having a guy doing all of that for you. I guess the fact of being kissed and touched along with sex, plus the feeling of being wanted, is what you are really after. The collective of everything that makes a sexual act such an experience.

[Whimzy]

I suppose you are right, I mean it makes sense. Anyone who knows me has told me I've always been the more emotional and mental type, so maybe it is the connection I need rather than the physical act itself. It's something to consider at least.

[coven13]

I dated a girl who had the same problem... until she tried using a bathtub faucet or a shower head. She said that changed her masturbation into an amazing thing

[DarkHumorRUs]

What exactly do they do with it, just spray them selves?

[Whimzy]

... as tempting as that sounds, I'll have to pass. Though the shower might be a good idea, considering the bedroom is an absolute no go.

[Enigma69]

i think its good if a girl masturbates its kinda naughty if she tells me too, but dont expect her to, its a kind of kink

[hifromkai]

I don't really care but a girl that doesn't masturbate I find is a little more money generally

[Chris7739]

I care if a girl masturbates, because it turns me on pretty much and I guess many other men, as well!

[Whimzy]

I figured as much, I was just curious if it was like a deal breaker or something if a girl didn't masturbate.

[Chris7739]

I guess it's not a deal breaker! But -as for your masturbation - try out watching porn, to see if it turns you on, or light candles in the bathroom and try satisfy yourself, the main point is that you should be alone, turn cellphone off.. no disturbances allowed! Try to use your fantasy, imagination about guys you like, just some ideas :) But don't worry, world doesn't collapse 'cos you don't masturbate :)

[luis_andrew]

just do what ever makes you happy

[Android620]

I believe if you feel horry you should masturbate I would love to watch you to help you out

[dunelr]

i dont care if a girl masturbates or not

[Anonymous]

I've never heard someone so much like me

[Anonymous]

Not all women masturbates, because sex is different (emotions and etc)

[Whimzy]

Yeah, I've been thinking that maybe it's just that I need the actual emotional connection involved, but then that little voice of doubt creeps in and I'm back to wondering what's wrong with me.

[Anonymous]

I apologize for the foul language in advance.

If a guy isn't a self absorbed-asshole, then he should be perfectly fine with it because he probably masterbates too.
In other words no we don't mind if you girls masterbate because we do it our self's all the time... possibly more than you could imagine.

[Whimzy]

Good to know, though it's not a question of if you mind if we do, it's if you mind if we don't/can't masturbate. Sorry if I hadn't made that clear enough in the original post. Thanks for sharing your opinion.