Sexual Health
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Is oral sex gross to guys?

i don't mean a guy performing it on a girl because I know many guys will not do it. but the guy I'm seeing currently told me that he thinks a girl performing oral sex on a guy is gross and he wouldn't want it done to him. I found this really shocking because I always thought for most guys it was pretty mandatory. he's never had it done so I kind of feel like he doesn't know what he's missing. but pushing the subject could cause a big fight. what do you think, should I try to talk about it?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Did I hear you say that right that it's pretty mandatory to most guys that his girl perform oral on him? I don't know what kind of guys you've been hanging out with but it's certainly not mandatory for me. I would feel that any girl that did that for that reason was pretty slutty. Since he hasn't asked you but you still wanna do it so he can learn how good it is, is really getting pretty desperate. Too bad that you take for granted that most guys won't do oral on a girl yet a girl is expected to do oral on a guy. It should be the opposite because guys are known as better lovers that love doing that. But to your question, I don't think you should try to convince him that he's missing out on anything because he isn't! Well unless you guys don't have anything better to do like go out on dates and have fun together as a couple, talk and laugh a lot, kiss, cuddle and make out. If it's YOU that wants to do it for your own sake, then yeahh if you wanna keep talking until he either lets you or leaves you. He doesn't feel he's missing out on anything.

  • Well, he has certainly cut off one of the most pleasurable events in sexuality for a man. That is his loss, although I have talked to a number of women who just love to do it, my wife included.

    I haven't heard of too many guys who don't like it.

    You might ask him why he thinks the way he does given that there are so many men out there who do love it. There might be some trauma in his past or teaching he received. I know when I was growing up my parents were always talking about how dirty the penis was and to always wash my hands after peeing and that could have translated into the penis being too dirty for a mouth it is dirty for the hands.

    • What you said has to do with how you see it. that's usually looked upon as a selfish act a guy wants from his girl as often as possible. many girls don't look at giving oral as a good thing for them to do and many guys are very considerate of that. I don't think she should be pushing his button if he's told her already enough times he's not interested. love, caring and respect should come before "extra" sexual acts.

    • Of course it is my opinion that it feel pleasurable. If you want something done to you of course it is a selfish, however I do know a lot of women who enjoy it very much for themselves just like I like to provide oral to my female partners. I didn't read that he has told her no more than once, so I don't think the subject has necessarily been closed. It may be, but I didn't see it written. I would be curious as to where you come up with "many" girls who don't give oral.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Just like those woman who have an aversion to oral there are those guys out there who don't like it either. Now I am suspecting that you are right when you say you think he does not know what he's missing out on, and it's because he has never done it. But the fact of the matter is it's his choice whether or not he partakes in oral sex no one should even be made to participate in anything that makes them uncomfortable when it comes to sex. My advice is to wait for him, maybe he will come around. You would not want him to pressure you into doing something you were not ready for so have the same consideration for him k.

  • There are certain guys that have a hangup about oral. They seem to think that only sluts do it and they don't want to be with a slut. Hopefully they outgrow this and realize that women of all kinds give blowjobs, but I've never stuck around long enough to find out. I always figured that a guy having a hangup like this wouldn't bode well for the rest of our sex life. Besides, I want a guy who wants me, not a guy who wants me to be some sort of pure statue to gaze upon from afar.

    • Yeah that's how I feel. how can we have a satisfying sex life if he doesn't want me near his penis?!

    • I don't know. I don't think he does either. I don't think a guy with that kind of viewpoint can think beyond his hangup. If you want to make this work I guess what you need to do is convince him that it's okay and normal to do various sexual things. That lots of people do them and that you aren't being demeaned or degraded by doing them. I'm sort of guessing that just telling him this flat-out won't work, but I can't really think of a better way to do it. Good luck with whatever you do.

    • Maybe focusing on how you want to do these things would help. Not that you think you need to, but that you actually want to. Tell him you fantasize about it and that it turns you on. I don't know, maybe he'd be totally weirded out by that, but I think it might have a chance.

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  • hah, I want your boyfriend. blow jobs are boring and exhausting.

    maybe you should ask if he would want to try it

    and if he doesn't want it, then your lucky.

    unless of course you like giving head

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Perhaps he thinks it's somehow coercive, which is a real turnoff. I am turned on by an enthusiastic lover, not a submissive one. Perhaps deep down, he thinks asking or accepting a blow job is somehow asking a woman to do something she'd rather not do.

    If you want to go down on him because YOU want to, I'm sure you can find a way to get him to go along with it so as to make you happy.

    He may not come, but if he truly believes it's something you want, he might get used to it and allow this from then on.

  • Maybe he doesn't like it who knows everybody has their own things.?

    But myself I don't think so I like it. Long as she does it right.

  • Your right oral sex performed on me from a girl is pretty much mandatory. I guess your right he doesn't know what he's missing. Before intercourse a H.J. Or B.J were great. Socrates may be right but after I "pleasure" her we kiss so. It was his penis in your mouth what's there to be afraid of.

    Yeah I guess you can ask him about it. When your making out or about to feel each other just kind of teasingly poke his side and ask him why won't you let me give you oral. Tell him that you really want to (but I guess that you can't push it too much) that you want him to give him pleasure. Can we try it once.

    Guys might not do it on a girl because they( the girl) need to take a minute to freshen up. Use a little soap & toilet paper & clean both ends. I always do. I hear baby wipes are also good for that & the clean up.

  • maybe he doesn't want to kiss the girl who's also giving him oral sex. lol, that would be my only look on it.

  • Idk, I can kind of agree with him. I have never had oral sex, but picturing my girlfriend going down on me looking up at me is just a huge turn-off, idky, cause she's gorgeous. and I can see how it would feel good...

    what I don't understand is how you could WANT to give oral sex. I wouldn't want to put my mouth around a penis... it would just be gross...

  • If you like doing it, why not propose him a a 69? Then you're at egality.

    link

  • I dig going down on a woman -shaved or not- and don't feel submissive doing it, but tough I appreciate her going down on me, the submissive side of it spoils the fun. Seeing the woman I love in a submissive role isn't my idea of "sexy". So, yes, I understand him.

  • honestly as a guy I think he's missing the pleasure of receiving oral sex. I think if the girl is willing to do it, why not?

    • Because he doesn't want to and doesn't feel he's missing out on anything! let's say a girl wanted to do something sexual to you that you told her you didn't want. should she keep insisting?

  • what? sounds to me like youve got a one in a million respectable guy enjoy it don't destroy it.

    • What's "respectable" about denying your girlfriend and yourself pleasure? Really, I don't get it. If you don't want to be sexual you can always not have a relationship. At least then you're not affecting anyone else with your hangups.

  • ya how do you get into these conversations I want that and I really like my girlfriend, I don't think it is gross at all

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