Is oral sex losing my virginity?

By boyfriend and I might do it but I won't if I lose my virginity.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • You're not a virgin if you ever had sex. Now what's "sex"? The question for that is cultural. So the concept of virginity depends on the constant movement of the social values. Those who are saying you only lose your virginity with a penis in the vagine are well-intended ignorants. Maybe it was in the 50s. But society and it's values are dinamic.

    So a lesbian never loses her virginity? Of course she does. We are already putting heteronormativism behind.

    But to give you a more straight answer. In 2016, most people in your social circle would NOT consider it losing the virginity. But this answer is not an atemporal or absolute one.

  • In a heterosexual relationship, I count penis -> vagina to be the mark for that, as that's the "final" scenario of sexual behavior.

    Virginity itself is just a false concept though designed to shame people into abstinence, so technically you aren't actually losing anything.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I am completely confused why someone would think they lost their virginity if there is no vaginal penetration. I am truly curious what they are teaching kids these days in the sex ed classes that they are now forcing 8 year olds to take. NO you will NOT lose your virginity by oral sex. The only way you lose your virginity is if his penis goes into your vagina.

  • I don't think you would be a "pure virgin" in the traditional sense. True virgins don't engage in any types of sexual acts and stuff like anal and oral are just "loopholes". If you don't care enough about your virginity, to the point of wanting oral sex, then you might as well just go all the way with penetrative sex too. Instead of looking for loopholes.

    • Just because she's ready for one thing doesn't mean she's ready for penetration, and if she's not radii for both then the second could be incredibly harmful mentally. Saying she "might as well just go all the way" is ridiculous, and oral sex is not a loophole, it's a separate form of enjoyable (for most people), arguably safer sex.

    • @Desiree94 ok first off I didn't say that she should start doing sexual acts she's not comfortable doing. This is all through the perspective of "keeping" your virginity. If you want to keep your virginity and value it so much, then you shouldn't go around having oral or anal SEX because it's still sex. You're gaining sexual experience and I think it's stupid to then turn around and say that you're still a virgin. You would be having your cake and eating it too, and I don't think that that's what virginity is about. Again this is not about safe sex or about not doing acts you're not comfortable with. Asker can do what she wants and of course she should use all the protection she can as well as not feel forced to do acts she doesn't want to do. However I think it's stupid to want to have oral sex and then still pretend to be a virgin, when the whole point of being a virgin is sexual inexperience. Which is why I said that she might as well go all the way then considering that she won't..

    • ... be a virgin anymore anyway.

  • It depends on what you define as losing your virginity. For me, losing my virginity was penetrative sex. Although I didn't receive oral sex for the first time until I did also have penetrative sex. And my advice for when you do lose your virginity is to do it when you feel completely comfortable and at ease doing so :)

  • If you want to go with the primary definition of "virgin", then yes you would still be considered a virgin. However the secondary definition is "someone who lacks knowledge in a specific field". So in that respect, the more experience you have with this type of sex, the less of a "virgin" you are.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Well the actual act of sex.. no you're having oral sex, I would classify virginity as penetration with a penis in the vagina. However a lot of people have different ways of viewing it

  • No, when the wee wee goes inside the pee pee and the cherry pops or when the wee goes in the pee pee then you lost it.

  • i don't believe so, because it isn't penetrative, but i mean ur still doing that kind of thing under 18, which isn't much better.

  • The definition of virginity has to do with the breaking of the hymen inside the vagina and done by a penis. All other definitions are artificial. Oral sex is not considered a breaking of "virginity." It is however going a long way!

  • Kinda, maybe mouth virginity? JK ;) only penetration is sex. Oral sex is sex but some people have different thoughts on what is sex and what is? Do you undertsand? :)

  • yes. If you want to have sex why not.

  • if that is what you make of it.

  • No. Penis in vagina is when you'll lose your virginity.

  • Losing your virginity involves penetration just fuck the guy if you want to

  • No, losing virginity is PIV.

  • Nah it's not BUT if you want to retain your purity / virtue then you can't do oral then be like, "oh, but I didn't go all the way, just half" because if you're looking for a virgin husband he will probably be looking for someone that's PURE.

  • I consider losing your virginity when you have intercourse

    • exactly.

  • It is not real sex, so no. However, you ARE having sex doing it. Oral sex, anal sex, and vaginal sex are all sex. All count as hving sex.

  • Who cares how the society sees it? What do you think? If yes. Then yes. If no. Then no. Let the judgers judge, no harm done.

  • It depends on what your beliefs are. Virginity means different things to different people

  • Not in my opinion, it isn't.

  • Although by dictionary definition no, you won't lose your virginity from it, it also depends on you and your own concept of what your virginity is. Either way, it is definitely a milestone and a big step so make sure that you both are ready first, and enjoy yourselves!

  • No is penis in vagina to make u not a virgin

  • When most people describe a virgin, they mean that person has been penetrated. So technically, no. But yes, you are still having sex if you have oral sex.

  • losing your virginity involves pnetration with a penis.

    • actually no. any sexual endeavour can be classed as losing your virginity, its up to the individual. otherwise you are implying lesbians are always going to be virgins lol.

    • @soffffixaz well if you take it too deep even the first time you contemplate sex is losing your virginity. we are talking about the actual stuff here though. i dont believe virginity is a hymen either. that can break accidentally.

    • it's not about the hymen its just that the fact that people think penis + vagina = proper sex and virginity is lost. and thats the "actual stuff"

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