Is saying a guy is hot when you have a boyfriend cheating?

[karenirving307]

i just went to go see magic mike with my boyfriend and my friends and my boyfriend was acting like such an a**hole just because I was like flipping out when I saw the guys stripping all I said was they are so sexy and I was just screaming a lot ^_^! especially Channing Tatum omg! is he not the hottest guy in the world :) I want to marry him so bad lol but yea my boyfriend was getting so jealous and he is mad at me and he actually left the theater and isn't talking to me :( I told him not to come but he wanted to anyway but I don't know what to do?

[TwistedLogic]

I have seen many posts on this site with women complaining about their boyfriends or husbands watching p*rn. They sounded pretty frustrated and insecure, despite the fact that their boyfriends (or husbands) have no intention of marrying ( or even fantasizing about) those p*rn stars. You, on the other hand, are still questioning if your boyfriend's attitude is understandable.:-/

I am not waging a sexist war here. The world is filled with attractive people, no matter how much we try to deny it. My ex girlfriend never minded me watching p*rn, and she joined me on many occasions. However, whenever I felt any kind of discomfort or jealousy (it probably was all in my head) I immediately grabbed her and gave her all my love and attention. Note that I am the least emotional person you will ever meet.

Just because it is on screen and there's little to no chance of being with those stars doesn't mean it is okay to be blunt and ignore the feelings of the person you are with. Your post is not different than saying: "My girlfriend was acting like a bitch JUST because I was flipping out when the girls on the next table started kissing. ALL I said was they are so sexy and I was just screaming a lot, especially this one girl that was so hot OMG! I want to marry her so bad...". What an insecure bitch I am dating, right?

My advice, apologize to him and be more careful next time. Good luck. :)

[karenirving307]

yeah your right thanx

[Anonymous]

Definitely not cheating, but it's really, really inconsiderate. First off, your behavior sounds a lot more over the top than that of most any guy at a movie with naked women. Secondly, the message it sends is even more troubling that it would be if a guy acted that way. Why? I'll tell you:

Your guy knows that you're an attractive girl with a great body. He knows that every day, you go out into the world and interact with people without him. He also knows how guys react to just seeing you: that many will be sexually attracted, many will hit on you, many will get hard just seeing you. And as a result, several will try really, REALLY hard to get somewhere with you.

He also knows that the ONLY thing standing between his relationship today, and you getting it on with one of those guys, is your desire to NOT get it on with them. This is VERY different from the reverse situation. For your guy, he's not going to be constantly hit on by attractive women. It just doesn't happen. So he'd have to ACTIVELY go out of his way to end up cheating. Kate Upton (or a similar attractive girl) isn't going to see him, get wet and try to sleep with him. But could a guy you find "OMG! SO HOT! EEEEEEEEE!" see you, get hard and try to sleep with you? Absolutely.

THIS is why your guy finds your behavior so upsetting, and why it was so inconsiderate.

[karenirving307]

yeah your right but he did have a choice to come or not why come with a group full of girls to see a male stripping movie like that's what I don't understand why not just stay home unless he wannted to get jealous on purpose I don't know and yeah I know I could of had more self control

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry, that doesn't fly. What else happens during "girl's night out?" You go out to a club dancing just with the girls? Gee I wonder what happens then? Endless streams of guys come up to hit on you. Now he knows how you behave if god forbid you actually find one of those guys attractive. You did nothing to give him comfort of your behavior when he's not there. If anything he'll (rightly) assume it's even worse than when you are there.

[karenirving307]

yeah but he shouldn't I just acted that way because the movie was just amazing hehe! and it was Channing hehe! but if I went to a club or a party I wouldn't act all love crazy because I never have acted that way at a club or a party before but Channing was in this movie not to mention dancin and stripping that's why I didn't want him to come

[karenirving307]

and no when ever I go to a party with friends when ever guys hit on me I tell them I have a boyfriend that's a completey different situation this was a movie and Channing is my number one celebrity crush

[Opinion Owner]

I'm just saying, it isn't difficult for him to see where this goes. Put you in a club, add a few drinks. You and your friends are getting into it, they probably encourage it because "OMG! That guy is so HOT! EEEEEEEE!" Hot guy asks you to dance. No harm in that right? Dance floor is crowded so you have to be close. Hand brushes against boob, hand brushes against ass, ass brushes against c0ck. C0ck hardens and brushes against ass. Before you know it grinding and feeling up is going on.

[izzybolden]

LOL you just shut her up with that last statement >.< *drops mic*

[jes_sick_a]

Okay when I go to a movie with my boyfriend and there's a hot actor all I say is that he's hot and my guy gets jealous, so I understand that but honestly you went a little over the top. I have a feeling that you kinda wanted to make him jealous just to show him something (which I've done before don't worry) but if that's the case, don't make excuses just own up to what you said and after he's cooled down, call him up and apologize earnestly and let him know all that you love about him and make him feel good about himself so he won't compare himself to channing or any other dude for that matter. and in the future, refrain from mentioning anything past a simple "he's cute" when around him just because you probably don't wanna deal with that anymore. Hope this helped, good luck(:

[karenirving307]

thx a lot and yeah we did talk and he said he didn't mine if I said a guy was hot in the movie he just was saying the way I was going on and on about it but we talked and he forgives me

[NoOneListens21]

i suppose it hurt his feelings and that maybe you prefer him over him...so I would just say you are sorry and that you wouldn't want to leave him for anyone =/ unless you do..then idk..all you can do is say sorry. lol

[karenirving307]

yea but Channing is just so Gorgeous ^_^ he is so beautiful :)! and I apologized a lot afterward I called him like 7 times telling him how sorry I was and he just won't talk to me :(

[NoOneListens21]

lol. well he shouldn't take it to heart really sometimes girls have a hard time controlling their emotions or joy over some things. Try to make it up to him some how. Maybe go see a movie he likes or something he likes but you don't really enjoy haha

[karenirving307]

sounds like a good idea thx :) and yeah he shouldn't take it to heart I mean how many movies do they always have girls stripping or doing what ever but finally us girls get a movie with hot guys stripping and men are complaining lol its like do you know how many times I've gotton mad at you for commenting half naked women in the movies lol so quiet hehe!

[NoOneListens21]

hahhaa. XD he probably doesn't like you drooling over another man. probably hurt his self esteem haha.

[karenirving307]

hehe! probably but I couldn't help myself it was Channing! ^_^! like OMG

[NoOneListens21]

^_^ lol. control yourself when you are around your boyfriend hahah unless you wanna get him mad

[karenirving307]

yeah I hope he forgives me

[NoOneListens21]

he will if he isn't unreasonable

[karenirving307]

he is at times he gets jealous a lot though :(

[NoOneListens21]

awww that's cute =) ahhaha. well isn't it sweet, he doesn't want to loose you and feels threatend. hahah

[karenirving307]

yea it is sweet but even if a guy just stares at me my boyfriend feels the need to be over protective especially when guys whistle being jealous is OK I guess because I get jealous too but not like crazy jealous like I want to beat you up for staring at my girlfriend like that's a turn off when some guys are like that :(

[NoOneListens21]

if it bothers you may you could talk to him about it. =)

[karenirving307]

yeah we have talked about it before but he just says he doesn't get jealous so I just say what ever its not worth the fight

[NoOneListens21]

lol. be like...well you look like you're mad..you act like your mad..so..what am I suppose to think? =P

[Anonymous]

No it's not cheating. he's being wayyy too dramatic. why did he even agree to see Magic Mike in the first place? he should have stayed his ass at home lol. he'll get over it

[karenirving307]

i know right and I hope so

[Frunkiss]

I think you are in the clear. most guys should know that if they tag along with girl's night that the estrogen is just going to be through the roof and women can work each other up and act weird. All of that screeching and obsessing over clothes and boys *shudders*. I think if you just point out how you were with your girls and just caught in the moment he will come around. I don't think pointing out how celebrities are hot is bad. My gfs though always restrict me into not talking about other girls in public. IDK. Not a huge deal though.

[karenirving307]

yeah all my friends were asking why he came it was like 7 of us and one guy and the theater was packed full of women I think there were like 3 mabe 4 guys and the rest was like I don't know 20 women and I told him not to come but still I shouldn't of said those things with him sitting right beside me

[ElijahCynicism]

"is he not the hottest guy in the world :) I want to marry him so baddd"

This is what made your boyfriend jealous. Silly!

Anyway, nah, just wait it out. He'll either get over it or leave you, both work. You need to be more sensitive in future though. He is a very jealous man! You do not wheel out other boys and scream for them in front of a jealous man! Jealousy, while generally a character flaw, with some people cannot be helped, and it makes them feel bad. Even though he insisted on coming, you shouldn't have let him.

[karenirving307]

i told him not to come even my friends were saying why is he coming doesn't he know there male strippers I told them yes but he came anyway probably because he didn't trust me or something but he could of stayed home and I'm pretty sure if it was a movie about women stripping he would do the same because that's what guys do

[ElijahCynicism]

You have to be firm. He must NOT come with you if you're going to react like this. Tell him he *has* to stay home. That's not unrealistic. Just say it's a girls night out and he can't come, or something.

[karenirving307]

yeah but he still kept saying why are you going to see that movie I said because my friends and I really want to see it and we actually got into an argument about it before we left so I just didn't care anymore if he came or not and he did now look what happend :( so its on him

[ElijahCynicism]

There is no talking to you.

[adamcdavis]

couldn't you just like say he was hot and say the scene was hot or whatever and leave it at that. You took it too far. I would not care if a women said someone was really hot but screaming about a scene and saying you want to marry him would kind of annoy me to be honest.

[karenirving307]

well I was with a lot of my girlfriends and they kept telling me how hot the guys are and I agreed with them and yes I could of contorl myself a lot better :(

[adamcdavis]

so what don't use excuses. If I were in your situation and around guy friends with my girlfriend and there was some hot female scene or something and my friends were telling me about it I would simply like agree with them and then let it go after that. I care about my friends but I care about my girlfriend more.

[karenirving307]

yeah your right

[adamcdavis]

and then you use your wrong. Dealbreaker right there not the movie scene lol. jk.

[Red_Arrow]

No. Thinking a guy (especially an actor that you see in movies) is hot is NOT cheating. And expressing that is not cheating. But saying you want to marry him so baddd is a bit ridiculous. Finding a hot guy to be hot, even expressing that he excites you, does not take anything from your relationship with your boyfriend. But saying you want to marry someone other than your boyfriend, even jokingly, does take something from him. He needs to grow up and not be threatened by your normal enjoyment of seeing hot guys, but that is only as long as you save your physical expression of that for him. Saying you would marry Channing steps over to taking away a bit from your boyfriend.

A mature guy can accept (and even appreciate) you enjoying seeing hot guys. Most can even accept you sexually fantasizing about hot guys. Until you fantasize marrying them. That is a more permanent interest on your part that is threatening to a guy.

[karenirving307]

yeah that's true

[BennyB]

Nah. As long as it's agreed that saying a girl is hot while having a girlfriend isn't cheating.

[karenirving307]

yeah like I'm pretty sure my boyfriend says other girls are hot too and well I can't say I don't get mad but he's just being a guy and I'm just being a girl y,know although now that I think about it I could of handle it a lot better

[BennyB]

Yeah, but make sure he handles it okay if you say a guy is hot.

[karenirving307]

yeah and he should do the same

[BennyB]

Exactly.

[karenirving307]

i just wish some guys weren't like that I mean if it was the other way around I wouldn't get up and leave because well if it was the other way around I would kno y,know my boyfriend is out with the guys and enjoying a movie like I may get a little jealous but not just say things like omfg I can't believe your watching this and get up and leave

[foolycooly1001]

It's pretty rude if you're screaming about how another guy is in front of your boyfriend.

[karenirving307]

i know I felt so bad after the movie :( I apologized but he still doesn't want to talk to me

[foolycooly1001]

I guess you'll have to apologize better.

[karenirving307]

yeah I know I called him many times otnight but he isn't awnsering :(

[izzybolden]

Guess what sweetheart, there are two possible outcomes. 1) He went back home to process and think over what he's just witnessed or 2) He was able to find another woman who doesn't go wild when she sees Channing Tatum shirtless. Whelp, lesson learned.

[Konnour]

It's not exactly cheating.. but on the borderline of it. Anyone having a common sense should know that saying or doing such things will upset the hell out of any normal guy.

Also that part when you said you want to marry that guy was the worst of it all. How would you feel if your boyfriend would be commenting on other girls how hot are they, or how he would want to marry some other girl.. who is not you?

..and why the hell he actually went to some place where MALES are taking their clothes off? You probably were really good at convincing him! ..or he's just not standing his ground or doing it very badly.

[karenirving307]

well I know how it feels sometimes when we see movies together he says wrost stuff not all the time but some like I would bang that girl she's sexy and I would bump him then he would say of course she's not as hot as you babe or something stupid like that and why he wannted to come I do not know probably because he doesn't trust me even when I go to partys or clubs he always wants to come with me unless he has work

[Konnour]

Well, you know - that's not very mature, having 'vengeance' in a relationship.. so he just had it all coming? Of course he wasn't considerate but neither were you. It would be better just to talk about it "while the iron is still hot" and making things clear right away instead of making it all even worse.

[izzybolden]

Exactly. You're suppose to be his counterpart NOT his clone. Also, most likely your female friends are single yet you're not. Take that into consideration until you 'let the pigeons loose'.

[izzybolden]

*before

[Tweetumzz143]

cheating? no, insensitive? yes

[karenirving307]

yeah :( I feel so bad

[lala-193]

no

[Jager66]

No its not cheating and your boyfriend is insecure and dumb, just because your dating/married or what ever does not mean you lose attraction to the opposite gender! Of course you could have used a measure of social grace to avoid flamboyantly screaming to your Boyfriend that you essentially want some random hot guy to pound you silly.

[karenirving307]

yeah I feel terrible :( and he like won't talk to me at all

[Jager66]

that sucks =(

[karenirving307]

yea but still in movies I've seen with him when a girl is half naked he says stuff to and I do get mad sometimes but not a lot because that's what guys do and finally we get a male stripping movie with hot guys and he over reacts at me so y.know I should be saying welcome to my world but yeah true I didn't have to have a fangasim or anything lol!

[Jager66]

lol a fangasim. well I hope you guys can sort things out, seems like he may be having a bit of an over reaction but not much you can do about that.

[karenirving307]

yeah thx

[Robotic]

This is why girls should NOT take their bf's to see magic mike lol

[karenirving307]

hehe! yeah I told him not to come because it was girls night but he wannted to anyway

[cklTheLamp]

It really isn't but he should have known that you would probly never get him (no offense).

[karenirving307]

none takin and obviously he's married and lives in the states he's just my number one celebrity crush but a girl can dream hehe!

[cklTheLamp]

Just tell him that you don't get jelous of his celeb crush (whoever it may be).

[izzybolden]

you do know that's a lie right? lol

[Anonymous]

get a new BF. why do you put out for that guy? girls like jerks?

[Anonymous]

Haha no. He should know it's all in fun and not take things so seriously.

Though if taken too far, it can get annoying, like if you talked about guys 24/7.

[karenirving307]

yeah I could of toned it down a bit but come on its movie with hot guys stripping and I told him not to come because it was a girls night out

[Opinion Owner]

Yup. What was he expecting, you to sit still with Tatum just dancing there? ha ha It's funny the reaction guys are having with this movie. I mean I would feel a bit jealous to be honest, but at the end of the day it's silly to be upset. It's not like guys don't get this way either.

[karenirving307]

omg finally a guy gets what I'm saying I know right some guys should cut us some slack movies nowadays always have half naked women and guys are all gaga so we get a movie about guys hot guys stripping and some guys get all upset like omg shut up lol hehe!

[Anonymous]

nope

[Anonymous]

How did you managed to drag your Boyfriend into a chick flick? Must of given him a good Bj to convince him? That or he's secretly gay and was offended by the dudes in the move.

[Opinion Owner]

One more thing those ain't really men, I'm more of a man then those half naked bums. I'm 5'10 and 253 pounds round and 253 pounds do go around. They might have 6 packs, but I'm packing a keg. wink wink.

[karenirving307]

no he wannted to come because I guess he didn't trust me I don't know I mean there were boobs in the movie and womens ass so its not like it was all for us girls hehe! and no lol Channing is just Gorgeous hot bod seems like a cool guy hehe! his wife is so lucky

[Opinion Owner]

oh ok

[ElijahCynicism]

LOL@anons complete turnaround. 'Oh ok'. Classic

[Opinion Owner]

i had nothing else to say.

[karenirving307]

and plus he can sure dance and move hehe! the things I wouldn't do to that guy :) but still just a celerity crush hopefully my boyfriend will get over it

[ElijahCynicism]

Oh yeah, I know. But I mean, it just happens so infrequently, it's great to see.

[Anonymous]

It isn't cheating per se, but it was attention whoring and certainly disrespectful. You're 19 years old and should be able to control yourself better. Just imagine if the situation was reversed and he started mentally masturbating like you did to Megan Fox. Wouldn't you feel really hot and wanted? Think next time before you act. Next, call him up, apologize and don't make excuses for your behavior.

[adamcdavis]

oh don't forget saying you want to marry her too lol.

[karenirving307]

yeah I know my friends kept grabbing me telling me how hot the guys were and they were lol but still afterward I felt so bad but I did tell him not come because the movie was mostly about male stripping but he wannted to anyway but I could of control myself a lot better

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly. The QA'er's behavior was 100% unacceptable. Even after the apology the boyfriend isn't talking to her, and I don't blame him. Any man who did likewise would be called a total pig, and rightly so. To the QA, give him some time to be left alone and stop contacting him. Let him come to you, or after three or four days, call him. Apologize again and tell him you realize just how wrong you were and how disrespectful your behavior was.

[karenirving307]

yeah I hope that helps thx

[adamcdavis]

see that's honestly what annoys me more than anything is that if a guy behaved like this 99% of females would call him a total pig and someone who only thinks about sex and women.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, it is a huge double-standard, and the boyfriend called her on it. Seriously, to the QA, stop drooling over hot guys in front of your guy. If you have to, chit chat with your female friends when your man isn't around, but he doesn't want to hear how hot some other guy's ass is any more than you want to hear him compared your less-than-perfect body to a p*rn star or uber hot actress.

[karenirving307]

1 I'm not perfect never said I was and 2 I told him not to come because it was a girls night out and 3 when we see movies with half naked women in it he says things to and sometimes I do get mad but then I tihnk I'm not gonna let it bother me because he's just being a guy and all of a sudden when a movie for us girls comes out he over reacts no doesn't work like tht yes I feel bad and trying to work it out but he can't just over react when I don't when ever he says another girl is hot

[Opinion Owner]

There's a difference between saying you find a girl attractive and you screaming like a little girl in a movie theater, unless he makes a point of being super obnoxious about it. Just remember this, believe it or not, guys have body sensitivity issues, as they aren't the sole realm of girls. Give it time, stop calling him, give him a chance to cool down and then apologize again. That's your game plan.