Is sex meaningless for guys -even with a girlfriend?

My boyfriend is the first guy I've ever had sex with. Although we've been together for well over a year. He made an odd comment to me when we were talking about his past relations with women (he is well experienced). He said sex isn't the same for men as it is for women. For men its just sex, its just fun. not so emotional. So I said so sex doesn't mean anything with me? and then he started back tracking his words saying how that's not what he meant etc. Q for the men is : is sex meaningless even with your gf?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I believe it was in this book Bonk link that I read that men form greater feelings after sex and women develop feelings before sex and use it as a reward for it essentially.

    No doubt men and women have different views and concepts on sex and I think the above statement is true, at least it appears to be to me from what I've seen.

    This mentality can also be seen in the way men and women cheat. Unfortunately I don't have links to any studies, but the research has been done. Anyway, men typically cheat for variety, spice, new things to explore. Basic sexual reasons, they don't necessarily love the women, they maybe just wanted to have sex with her.

    Women on the other hand cheat mostly because a lack of feelings, love, desire, desireability, and things like this.

    Men do things for the hard urges and women for the warm and tingly.

    There's no reason to hate the system or get upset, it just merely is what it is and it won't be changed no matter how hard you try. It's just a matter of accepting that their are subtle differences between men and women but also recognizing that when put together they form a complimenting pair.

    As a final note, sex for most of us is meaningless. Sex is of course an act of procreation and therefore the meaning is to create children. But seeing how must of us screw our heads off without wanting/intending to have kids(at least at that moment), the sex can be seen as essentially meaningless.

    Again maybe this is an example that related to what I said above of that difference between men and women, for men sex is mostly a way to receive pleasure, while for women it is more of a way to develop a bond.

  • I wrote this answer to another similar question, but it will go perfect here too"

    Guys have to categories for sex:

    - Sex with a girl you have feelings for, and,

    - Sex with a girl you don't have feelings for.

    The first category is obvious, right? But the second one is hard for many women to understand, because most women don't enjoy sex unless they have some feelings for the guy (a few can, but they are exceptions).

    Men, though, are biologically evolved to be able to enjoy sex even if they have zero feelings for the girl. It's part of a man's biological drive to reproduce. And since his best odds of having his genes survive when he has sex with (and thus potentially impregnates) multiple different women (which broadens the gene pool and protects against genetic weaknesses), men evolved to desire having sex with different women, and had to be able to perform whether he had feelings for her or not.

    So, yes, men definitely CAN have sex, and enjoy it, with a woman he has NO feelings for. And he can have sex with that girl for YEARS and still never develop feelings for her, which again is different from women, who are genetically evolved to DEVELOP feelings for someone she's having sex with. That's important for the survival of her (potential) children.

    These articles will give you a bit more info:

    link

    link

Most Helpful Girls

  • What people are saying on here is true. I'm sure it is meanigful to him in some degree and like they siad, a mans brain functions differently than women's. So don't take it all so hard...and keep in mind, he is your first. women tend to become attatched to their first in a way that men don't and probably never will. They will remember it, of course, but it may not be in the sentimental and symbolic way we think of it. Then again, there's a small chance he's just trying to be really masculine. Some men hate showing their softer side and will say about anything to cover it up

  • women are more emotional due to hormones so they get attached and feel affection with the act. but for men they just get pleasure and it is a recreational act and not so "special"

    i think another thing is that men can orgasm much more easily from sex than a woman can, and often for a woman to feel that pleasure there needs to be emotion involved.

    but I think sex is different for a man when he cares for the woman

  • For many people, sex itself isn't "meaningful". It can just be fun and unemotional. However, sex with someone you care about is meaningful and can be an expression of your emotions.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Sex is not meaningless. Sure, it's fun and it feels great; but it's not meaningless!

    I think it's something that is enjoyed only by you two on a very intimate level. It's something that you two have done that you have enjoyed together, sexually.

    I suppose times when sex is meaningless is when there are one night stands etc, but in a relationship, sex isn't meaningless. I believe that the sexual attraction between the two people in a relationship really cements it. The problems that occur are only trust problems.

  • Women & men have different looks on things. Women look at sex as emotional affection, reason why a lot of females look at it like that cause of the hormone estrogen. Men aren't really that full of estrogen opposed to women, so we call it as it is, a penis going into a vagina.

    Doesn't mean we don't appreciate the affection, just we just aren't that emotional attached to the activity.

  • Sex is never meaningless, we just don't put the weight of the world on it. This is your first partner, so you will not attach the same level of meaning to future ones. Its got much more to do with losing your virginity to him than sex is meaningless to guys. Not the case

  • No. Tell him to speak for himself. The same chemicals/bonding hormones flood our brains during courtship/sex, as they do with women.

  • He speaks for himself. He's not our ambassador by any means. Besides, it's not as if women don't feel the same way as he does about it. There are a lot of promiscuous people out there.

  • Its kind of just f***ing, but if the girl who loves us doesn't want to f*** us, it hurts, and if she does, we feel great.

    So its not so much an expression of love, as something that makes us feel wanted and loved.

    So if we don't care about the girl, her wanting us doesn't make us love her.

    But if we love her, her wanting, desiring and caring about our desires is really important.

    At least, that's how it is for me, and from what I have read, that's common for men.

  • I've never had a girlfriend but I think sex would be meaningful for me.

    I'd need to have a girlfriend for having a very passionate sex. but that's me. I really don't see the point of sex that just feels like 'sex' rather than 'making love'. I don't know I'm weird. xD

    but that's me though.