Losing Your Virginity-Before, After, and In-Between

So my questions are about what happens when you lose your virginity (I know the basics). I will be visiting a very special friend here shortly and most likely, we are going to sleep together. I'm just looking to find out what to expect. Before you ask, I'm 22 and have thought about this a lot. Him and I have discussed pretty much everything at length and are ready for this. I know that there will be some pain when he first enters me. Any tips on minimizing this? I've already bought some lubricant and I know the more foreplay the better. Is there anything else I should know? I'm thinking we're going to go with the standard missionary position. Also, this is kind of a weird question, but I'm curious about body fluids. Neither of us have any STDs and I am on birth control pills. We have discussed using a condom and not using one. If we don't use a condom and he ejaculates inside of me, how "messy" will it be? Like will it start leaking out of me really quickly or the day after, etc? How do I deal with this? Panty liner? Quick shower? Also, I'm curious about afterwards. I know to be myself and act naturally, but are there any do's and don'ts as far as behaviors go? I know that I am ready for this step but I still have a lot of questions. Any and all information, tips, etc, that you guys can provide would be great, both from the male and female perspective. Thank you!
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Ah, well, I've just recently had my first experiance so let's see if I can give you some insight. First of all, considering methods of centraception I think if you are not interested in using condoms or the pill(Or even if you are, it's best to always have a back up!) to consider using a spermicide product such as VCF or Encare Vaginal Inserts. They take 10-15 minutes to start working and then you're free to go about intercourse, granted insertion of these can be quite painful for a virgin(It wasn't for me) but think of them as very tiny tampons with out the mess of removal.

    Now as for the before, we tried to be very calm about it, just focus on being with one another and nothing else. Engaging in foreplay is key since arousal, ontop of the lubricant(We had planned to use a water-based lube, which is the only kind you should use, but we didn't have the time and he just focussed on getting me aroused.) will make penetration more comfortable. During foreplay try to be as relaxed as possible, let your body go into a calm trance like state.

    During intercourse still try to stay focussed and not think about the pain, focus on your partner. I looked into my lover's eyes, thought about him and how we felt about each other then it just happened. For me intial penetration did not really hurt, but I made sure he went slow and we had discussed beforehand that if he saw me looking uncomfortable he would pause and ask me if I was alright. As well, discuss a safe word that you can use if you absolutely need to stop. As time went by he would check on me and once I got used to him being inside of me we sped up a bit. Also, you need to figure out the right angle for entry. For me the is an angle that my partner entered at that felt like he was pulling on something, so I told him in a calm manner to stop and pull out then try entering again to correct the angle. Overall, if you are in great pain and don't think you can handle it, tell him to stop immediately, use the safeword if you must. If you are in pain but want to continue, tell him to keep moving slowly or pause all together until you get used to him.

    Once it was all over we took a deep breath, checked out condom for any leaks, then discarded it and relaxed next to eachother. If you are still feeling some discomfort afterwards, just try to keep yourself relaxed since tensing up will only make any pain you feel worse. Also, if your partner hit the cervix often during intercourse or you find yourself dealing with cramps or other pain take some painkillers such as Motrin to calm the pain. Overall, I wish you good luck. Losing your virginity can be a fun, loving experience if you want it to be.

  • GREAT QUESTION. I'm a vigin so I can't really help but thanks for asking this... I was actually considering- my boyfriend willing of cots, of practicing a few times with just the head - you know, getting used to the penis BEING IN ME, & moving around, without worrying about it piercing me pr se-

    (I know even best intentions can get stuck with the problem of urgency arousal presents)..

    However I do wonder how frustrating that would be for a him, & if it is even reasonable thing to expect him to be able to DO.. Of course I guess I could like give him a hand job AFTR to finish things, if THAT was a problem - so could HE come to think of it lol.

    Good Luck!

    :-)

  • And to think after the deed is done, who cares about the rest until the next morning.

    After you have had your first FEW times then go to this link to learn more about positions. Click on the pictures to see them in action.

    For your First time then go to this link for some better tips for your situation.

Most Helpful Guys

  • First off wow 22 and a virgin really wow. Proud of you that's a good thing. I have had a nice amount of sex in my life time I guess but, I have taken this past year off so I'm alittle behind the game on the actuall physical but, I can realate to you alittle. When you guys get into it, just go with it it's your first time don't be to exspecting. Remeber to use the lub generously, on yourself and inside. especially on the sides of his member and head as these parts will cause you pain. Take the time to let itself work itself in. and go slow, let his head once worked itself inside stay there and go in and back working your hips around it before he moves up alittle more. It should be fun and you should be happy. Talk to each other or stay silent whatever works take a deep breath right before he enters. Just act like one while you two are together. Its already a lot to think about. Sometimes pretending to about something helps or about what is going on and thinking about it erotically. Also, Juices are awesome means you are having a really good time. Exsperiment as you guys get comfortable loosen up a bit. Since its your first time you might be really tight so, he might not last long the second time and so forth will be better it still will be good. If he cums in you it does come back out so having a towel handy is good. a lot of forp[lay helps calm him so he can last longer. After is ify because he'll be ready either to go do something feeling empowered or complete worn out. either way its a complement because he's still thinking about you cuddlying or getting you something hopefully. Just go with the flow you guys just connected on a new level. I hope the little that I told you helps and makes connections with everything else everyone told you thus far... Just relax take a deep breath remeber head and have yourself a first deep O. Congrats!

  • i would like to suggest you the safer option your parter shld use cond. This is the best option to kill any anxiety before, after and at the time having sex. If it is not ok, then ur guy shld be responsible he sld not release the come inside u, and ushld be more aware when he can cum. As you feel the final shot just donot get lazy on bed taken inside the penise. Ask him to take it out. If it is not done then pills will be last option.

    mark_acealps@yahoo.com

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  • try looking up some message techniques and take it to another level try it for some good foreplay! help you two laugh and have fun right before you guys actually relax!

  • There nothing you can do for it to not hurt except to keep having sex and the pain will go aay.

    If you don't use a condom your in danger of getting pregnant. birth control isn't 100%

    • neither are condoms