Sexual Health
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Losing your virginity to another virgin a horrible idea?

I have been dating this guy for 2 months now he is 24 and I am 21. We are both virgins and have talked about sex in depth. I have always pictured my first time to be with an older more experienced guy that could teach me. I feel like he would appreciate more that I was a virgin and how it feels compared to a virgin. But on the other hand I feel like being each others' first would be nice but I don't want to end up with someone that is very bad. The guy who is also a virgin is about 5 inches and he seems to get hard if a stiff breeze comes by, so it doesn't take much. What would you prefer? Aside from the actual personality and emotions do you think that it is a bad idea for the blind to lead the blind when it comes to sex? Can people really learn together? Or are experienced guys that can teach me better and more appreciative I know it depends on the person but still if you were given the options which would you choose and why? I'm just worried that this sex life is going to be super one sided with the virgin because clearly I won't be getting the kind of pleasure I want when he finishes in 3 seconds... idk
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Most Helpful Guys

  • My first time was with a girl that was virgin also, we were somewhat dating at that time and it wasn't a planned thing, just one day things got further physically and then to the point of no return. I was then a bit longer than 6" and only 13 then and she was 16. It all started with a cuddle on a bed, then it got to the point where we were totally naked and I was above her just rubbing genitals. Then she used her hand to guide and I wasn't gentle pushing into her as I didn't quite know we were supposed to be gentle when taking a girl's virginity. We were together for 4 months after that. We did it quite often more than 3-4 times per week and she no longer needed to guide me into her but I continued to push hard into her every time, she didn't complain though as she thought it was "normal"

    2nd girl wasn't a virgin but limited sexual experience, I was her 3rd guy and her 5th time doing sex, she is also a bigger sized girl (nearly 250lbs) and she was bigger in every way than the 1st girl. She was the first to say I'm big and told me I'm longer and thicker than the 3 guys before her. I had no problem aiming to enter her and pushed hard into her like I normally did with the 1st girl. She pushed me straight out of her and started crying. A few days later I chatted with her again and she told me I hurt her a lot and I could have been gentle with her. We met up the 2nd time and this time she was the one on top and I took the queue from her how it is like to be gentle, on our 3rd time I was on top and also entered her gently and she was fine with how I did her even if it hurt a bit. We did it around 20 times or so then she went back to her 2nd guy whom she liked better.

    3rd girl was a virgin, I was gentle entering her though I also liked her a lot more than the previous 2 and things were always good between us. I'm glad I was more experienced when I did her and didn't do with her what I did with the 1st and especially the 2nd girl.

    As for him being 5" unless you're a bigger sized girl 5" should be sufficient to fully penetrate and if his is thick enough what's the problem?

    I think it would be best to lose it to a guy who has had some sexual type experience rather than one completely without, so fool around a bit first and then take it as it comes.

    • Yeah thank you for your input. He is older than me (24) so I kinda figured that he would know a little more. But what worries me is that we talk about a lot of sexual stuff and he watches p*rn and I made it really clear that I didn't want to be treated that way and he seemed to get it. I just wonder if he will appreciate being with a virgin as much as other guys with more experience. Do you think a 24 year old would be better than you, your first time since you were only 13?

    • Age, just because he is older won't mean much in bed. Would he appreciate it? It's rare to find a guy who won't enjoy deflowering a virgin and him being a virgin would be no different. Him watching p*rn might be a bit of a bad thing as he would be influenced by it a lot even if he says he will try not to. Him being better? I suppose at 24 he probably should know a bit more than I did at 13, better in performance? I'll be sceptical if someone says a virgin is good in bed on his first time.

  • Sex is always bad the first time or two, until you get a feel for each other. And you don't know that he will only last 3 seconds. Just because a stiff breeze comes by and he gets hard doesn't mean he is a one minute man.

    Also I applaud you for going for the nice/decent guy over the jerk who won't appreciate you.

    • Thanks :) I'm trying I'm thinking of long term and my parents taught me throguh their experience that beauty fades fast.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend who was also a virgin at the time. We've been together for a little over 4 years. It does not matter if someone is a virgin or not, if you like him then go for it. If the sex is "bad" or you feel that you aren't sexually compatible then that's fine, you don't have to stay with him if you don't want to. Losing your virginity to another virgin is also not a "horrible" idea.

    I mean, it worked for me and my boyfriend so it's just something that depends on the couple. I was fine with it, I liked losing it to someone that was on the same level as me and building our sex life together. Finding out what works for us, what we both liked, etc. If I were given the option to lose it to a non-virgin verses a virgin I wouldn't change a thing. I was happy losing it to my boyfriend and clearly it wasn't an issue since we're still together. Sexual experience doesn't matter to me at all.

    And seriously? Just because he's a virgin doesn't mean he'll finish in "3 seconds". That's a pretty ignorant statement. My boyfriend lasted about 30 minutes the first time we did it. It sounds like you're more worried about his experience rather than him as a person which is a little messed up. If you don't respect him or care about him then don't have sex, go find someone who's had a lot of sexual partners because it sounds like that's what you really want. Although, to be honest, even if someone HAS had a ton of partners, that doesn't necessarily mean they'll be good in bed. Just saying...

  • I absolutely don't think it's a bad idea at all. I preferred that when I lost my virginity. My boyfriend and I were both virgins. Sex is always "bad" the first few times you have it.

  • Absolutely because he didn't know what the f*** he was doing, he didn't even buy the right size and I was so f***ing bored.

    • Was that your first time too?

    • yup, and the aftermath is that bad sex is a deal breaker for anything with me now .

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 4

  • That's probably the best way to do it. If you go with someone who has too much experience it could actually go very badly for you

  • I enjoyed it.

  • I'm a virgin saving myself for marriage, and I'm only looking for virgin girls. I believe there is nothing more romantic or intimate than learning about sex and experimenting together, instead of being taught by someone more experienced.

  • No girl wants a virgin.

  • I'd prefer a virgin to have sex with as I am one as well. It might not be great the first time, but through communication and practice you can start to learn what works for both of you. If I was in this situation, I would be more focused on spending special time with my partner than how good the sex would be. If I really cared about the person, I would know we have plenty of time to work things out.

  • Sounds like you don't think very much of him, so find someone else.

    • Well he is nice, so I'm trying, I'm not really attracted to him but the guys I am attracted to aren't nearly as nice. So I'm sacrificing attraction for depth but I don't know if I would want to eventually sacrifice good sex as well. Do you have any experience in this at all?

    • Oh God! Cut him loose. Jeez...

    • Really? He seems so nice and sweet I just don't know. I would rather be with a guy that is nice and treats me right than a guy that is a good looking jerk :/

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