Man wants abortion and woman doesn't. What to do?

[Anonymous]

My boss (29) dated a girl (co-worker) at my job. They've been dating for only 3 months and she's already pregnant. Now she wants to keep the baby, my boss doesn't. For the following reasons: 1. Not ready emotionally 2. Not ready financially What's the best advice you could give to the man? What's the best advice you could give to the woman? Why are women so reluctant to abort if it's the best for the both of them? This situation has grown out of proportion at the job, sometimes both of them yell and scream inside a room. Then people stop working just to watch the scene.

[saelym]

For the man:

Final say belongs to the woman as to whether or not she wants to be pregnant and have the baby. It is her body in the end. You don't have to be active in the child's life, but she is fully within her rights to seek financial help from you in the form of child support. To the best of my knowledge, you can opt out of custody, but you did half the job, so there is a financial obligation if she chooses to pursue it.

For the woman:

If he doesn't want a child, you can't force him to be an active father. Yes, children should have an active father figure, but that does not give you the right to force someone to take partial custody or remain with you for the sake of the child. If you don't want to be a single mother, there is the option to put the child up for adoption. You are within your rights to seek child support from the biological father, however, and if you so choose, you can also pursue sole custody of the child.

For both individuals:

One of you is the boss at this particular job. It is your duty to set an example for employees and put your best foot forward as a leader. Both of you are adults who are responsible for acting accordingly. Bickering over personal matters on company time is distracting to other employees and inappropriate. Keep your personal business away from the workplace, people are there to work, not listen to you to squabble. Get a grip, settle your differences, and do so in an appropriate place for personal matters. Your personal business is bad for business. If you weren't fully prepared for the possibility of a child, either you shouldn't have been having sex in the first place or the man should have worn a condom and the woman should have had her own contraception (birth control, spermicide, etc). Never count on the other person to keep you free of disease and/or unwanted pregnancy.

Finally, to answer your last question, my best guess is that it comes right down to mothering instinct. Even though I don't want children, when I got pregnant, I had very protective feelings that lasted until I miscarried. What's best for anyone is more in question than it should be when pregnancy is involved, in my opinion. If you don't have the means to care for a child together, separated, or alone, you have no business bringing another kid into the world. Shame on the people who knowingly and purposefully bring children into already bad situations.

[Aydii]

Best advice to the man: wear a condom next time and or make sure the woman is on some sort of birth control.

Best advice to the woman: next time don't have sex with a man unless he has a condom and or you're on birth control.

Some women just can't handle having to kill an unborn child( fetus), there are arguments about this that happen quite frequently.

If it bothers you and your co workers go to the person who is above your boss and say that his relationship with her is a problem in the workplace.

[lace1228]

When you hear babies heart beat and feel it moving it makes it hard to get rid of. Your boss needs to grow up he is almost 30, the baby is litterally 50% of him. I believe everything happens for a reason. They need to find away to get along to raise baby even if separately.

[BobSacamano]

I realize the child is unwanted, but perhaps there's a way to lightly suggest the meet halfway with adoption.

The child wasn't a product or rape or incest [I assume], so why should this life form have to suffer the ultimate price?

I would let them both know that there's a waiting list to be able to adopt here in the United States, and it would be a noble mutual decision.

The guy might think it will cause future drama, and might not want to have to explain himself to a future spouse, but if his future wife [if he plans to get married some day] knows that he fathered a child and gave it up for adoption, hopefully this future wife--- whomever it may be, should respect him to have "manned up" for his mistake by letting someone else live.

[Anonymous]

Slip RU486 into her drinks.

[MrOracle]

Your boss is a complete and utter IDIOT.

He's an idiot for dating at the workplace, ESPECIALLY as a boss (and you are experiencing exactly why that's a bad idea!). And he's an even bigger idiot for not realizing that he gave up his "opinion" on the pregnancy issue the first time he had unprotected sex with the girl. Once a girl is pregnant, the decision is hers and hers alone, even though it will certainly affect him in a big way.

In other words, he made a series of very stupid decisions, and now he's going to pay dearly for them.

Life is tough, but it's a lot tougher when you're stupid.

[jmr2191]

Nothing you can do. Choice belongs to the pregnant woman only. The guy has no say unless the woman asks for input.

[Prettygurl12]

A woman becomes a mother the minute she finds out she's pregnant. A man becomes a father the first time he sees his child. She's probably already attached to this child emotionally and physically.

[ricke92m3]

Man up, get another job, don't sleep with employees. If he isn't ready to have a kid then don't f***. If the woman decides she wants to keep the kid it is her choice, I'm pro choice all the way. Also how can you assume that it is for the best for both of them, you don't know how she feels?

[iamthestoryofagirl]

Sorry, she gets the say on this one because it's in her body.

[youllthinkofme]

I think that the man should just have nothing to do with the child then. That way the mother can have her way, and the man can just carry on.

[Hades]

Your boss is doomed. No such thing a male reproductive rights. Hopefully his stupidity and subsequent obliteration will encourage other men to be more vigilant. Use condoms or wait until you can get the RISUG injection.

[ThatBritishLad]

What you do is calmly walk up to her, put a hand on her shoulder, then smash a cricket bat in her gut until she stops struggling :<

[Rissyanne]

You are sick.

[Xwtxx]

Tell the boss tough luck. He better start talking to a financial planner about child support. It is time for him to man up per Frank Vincent.

If she works with him. he better pray that she does not file a sexual harassment suit.

The woman, it is her body and it is her choice, and I am glad that she choose life. Who is really ready to have a baby? If she wants to keep the baby, she needs to talk to a financial planner.

Why are women so reluctant to abort if it's the best for the both of them? These women believe in life. This is based on their beliefs and value system. You should respect their choices in life.

[Anonymous]

She should keep it if that's what she wants

[Anonymous]

A woman's attachment to her unborn child is completely different than a man's. It's a part of her. If she doesn't want to give up the baby, he can't make her.

It may be best for HIM for her to abort, and while it may be better for her financially, it clearly isn't best for her psychologically or emotionally.

If he wasn't ready to face this possibility, he shouldn't have been sleeping with her.

[Anonymous]

He's completely at her mercy. Has he asked her if he can completely sign his rights away so that he isn't responsible for the child whatsoever? Even then, she still has the final decision on that too.