Married women only, frequency of sex?

Hi, I'm 33 years old and have been married over 8 years now. I met my husband when we were in our late teens and have been together ever since. Our lives are busy with two children and both of us work full time jobs. My question is for those in similar situations... how often do you have sex with your husband? This has been an ongoing topic recently in our marriage. We do spend most of our nites together and always go to bed together, it's just that I don't feel like having sex. It be great to hear how frequently other married couples have intercourse.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I know you only asked for women's comments but I feel obligated to comment on your husband's behalf. My wife and I have been married for 10 years. She is 31 and I'm 30. We have 3 kids (5, 2, 1). My wife will only have sex with me about one a month as well. I'm not a sex maniac by any stretch of the imagination but twice a week would be ideal for me. I can say that you are putting your husband in a very difficult situation. As a man his the same exact situation I can tell you I often find my mind wandering towards thoughts about other women that would be more willing to meet my needs. I also find my self emotionally disconnecting more and more from my wife. As a wife you need to understand that his physical needs are exactly like your emotional needs. He needs that physical intimacy to keep a connection just as much as you need the cuddle time to keep the connection. I just saw this website last night. My wife refused to read it. Maybe you will find it helpful. It's an article on why the wife should initiate sex: familyshare.com/.../why-women-should-initiate-sexual-intimacy-more-often

    Good luck. I wish you and your husband the best.!

    • Thank you

    • You are very welcome! I truly hope it works out for you two!

  • Once a month or so is just not enough, especially at your relatively young age and young marriage. What will it be like later?

    It seems from your post that you expect that the time for sex is when you go to bed, but you are tired and don't feel like having sex. Have you tried other times? Like in the morning, even if you have to set the alarm a little earlier to give yourself time. You will be more rested then. Also, the weekends when you can find at least a little more time. Even if you only manage once during a weekend, that would be four times a month.

    And even though you don't feel like having sex when you go to bed, are you not at least somewhat horny during the week? Perhaps enough that you either masturbate or want to masturbate, but don't have the energy for a sexual union?

    If you are getting enough sleep, and it is "good, restful" sleep. and you get enough exercise and eat well, at 33 you should be more interested in sex. Check with your doctor. Finding a solution will make both you happier and may actually end up saving your marriage.

    • Thank you for MHO. I hope that you have found some helpful ideas here. You are a young. wonderful sounding woman who deserves to enjoy every bit of attention your husband is trying to give you, maybe more. See the doctor and if the answer is not found there, get to a counselor, alone or with your husband for more ideas to help you.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Between jobs, daughter and other activities we have slowed down to really trying at least every couple of nights. I am 31 he is 42. On the weekends when my daughter is gone with friends or family for the weekend it will almost always turn into a fun fuckathon in our place. Love those moments.

    • I'm just never really in the mood. He's always ready but once a month or so is I can handle.

    • I'm going to guess that you have a very stressful job and if your kids are up around the 7-8-9 age I can understand some stress there as well. Try something like we do with the fuckathon weekend once in a while.

    • Kids are 6 and 4. The job can be a bit much as I'm the operations manager for a large logistics company. Honestly I love to just cuddle and fall asleep in hubbys arms when we're alone. I do feel him growing a little distant tho. I can't even get aroused when he's being "extra nice to my body"

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  • Been together seven years, two kids and have sex at least every other day x

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If it's not happening on most days of the week, you're giving him every excuse to either cheat or leave.

  • Very frequent.