Men are very territorial over their women?

[Anonymous]

are they territorial if it is "just sex", or only if it's more than sex? i have a thing with a guy from work and we took a walk together and he grabbed my hand. I told him to be careful because I don't want everyone seeing us. he told me "yeah if the other men see this, they're going to like you less because they won't think they have a chance to get with you anymore...that will make me look good, but won't do anything for your status" we are seeing each other and talking..not having sex yet. but it's not like he wants to be my boyfriend. so what does he mean? does he just mean the men will think he's banging me so they won't be able to?

[kholland65]

Yes men are territorial to an extent but really no more than women. When we are with a girl or are in the process of courting a girl, of course we are going to feel like she is ours and that she is off limits to other guys, but girls do the same thing.

However, whit guy is talking about is something a bit different than being territorial and it is something that men and women are exact opposites on. It has to do with social status.

Women are attracted to the alpha males and the leaders of the pack. Men who are desired by other women are assumed to be of higher social status and to be an alpha male, making other girls say to themselves, he's attractive I want to be with him too. Your subconscious tricks you and tells you that if all these other girls want to be with this guy, there must be something to him. You want to be the girl that the leader or the pack picked to be with.

Men on the other hand don't like to compete for their women, nor do they like to feel like they have to fend off other guys. Men do not like going after girls who are desired by too many other men. Just like your guys said, if a guy sees a girl with some other guy, even if they are just talking, he is going to assume I don't really have a chance with this girl, but to move on to an easier target where I have better odds of success. If I walk into a bar, I'm going to walk up to the girl who is by herself or with one or 2 female friends, not the girl who has 3 guys sitting where her or hitting on her. Only a select few guys go against this, but usually because they are so overconfident in their ability to pick up women, they believe they can beat out the other guy who is already with her.

[Cryostatic]

Yes, men are very territorial, even with girls who are just f*ck buddies.

They don't have a ~right~ to be, but that's how they are anyway.

[understanding1]

That was a really manipulative remark, IMO, and he's dead wrong. If you seem to be taken, it makes you more DESIREABLE to men because often guys want what they can't have and they pay attention to what other males find attractive, meaning their opinion of you will rise. Not very cool of him to say that but it could be that he's insecure.

Don't be a "sex buddy". That sounds like a great way to get your heart ripped out. He needs to date you like a gentleman would.

[kholland65]

Wrong. that is the female mindset, men are the opposite. I know from experience and I've actually read it numerous times.

[archer86]

Wars have been fought over women. People have died over women as well.

[Sephin]

That's pretty much what he meant but he said it in such a...douche way.

[Asker]

what did he mean? that men will think we are f***ing, or that they will think we are an item?

[Sephin]

That's a bit drastic. I'm sure he meant that you would appear to be his girl so he would look awesome but it wouldn't do any good for you.

[madiocre]

It really varies.

[Anonymous]

i've noticed this.

After they have f***ed you, they have marked you. It's so weird.