My boyfriend bragged to me about having anal sex with his ex, and now he expects it from me?

my boyfriend and I were drinking and he was pretty buzzed. he blurted out how he had anal with his ex when they were drunk and how she wanted it so bad. I brushed it off til today. let me tell you first he is the sweetest guy, treats me like a princess, it really fun...i really love him. but today he kept joking about anal over and over and over, then I said "I'm not like your ex, I'm not a butt slut" becaus the girl he did it with was a girl I'm kinda jealous over I admit. in my eyes she is prettier because she is skinnier than me, and because they did everything together sexually and just normal everyday things like traveling, etc. he says she was a bad person though and hates her with a passion. but I feel like I'll never measure up to her. she gave him everything he wanted sexually and I feel like a prude because I don't wanna have anal, at least not yet. he always brings up things they did (not sexually really) but brings up trips they had together, and even busted out photos once (but none of her just the trip). I feel bad...what can I do to feel better? I know all the guys prob are gonna say just have butt sex with him, but I truly am not ready to do that. do I have the right to be upset/jealous? what should I say to him to express how I feel about the situation? not just him wanting anal and constantly joking about it, but him telling me things about his ex that make me feel like a POS? thanks everyone.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Wait stop hold up, is this just about sex because that what it sounds like to me. I read it twice and honestly, do take this the wrong way “if he telling you of his past sex life with an ex” leave him in the past. Never get involve with someone that isn't free of the last one. This is nothing but drama to you.

    People treat you like you let them treat you (treats me like a princess) Really, he treats you that well; He want to f*** you in the ass. I think being f***ed in the ass is being treated like a princess then how does he treat the ones...wait you already answer it “he says she was a bad person though and hates her with a passion”. Its so many red-flags here. This is a new relationship and it most bout sex. He has a walking sex doll and if you tried to talk about him you couldn't do it.

    Lets pretend this is a real relationship for a second for argument:

    1.) get people out of your relationship period. Its you and him, no more. That threesome and foursome is just STD waiting to happen. Be a freaking woman and tell the jerk if he can't get over the … go back to her. This is getting me so hot. I cannot stand a weak woman. Good lord you would be history with me.

    2.) Don't compare yourself to her. When someone is jealous it normally their partner intentional made them feel that way. Your guy is going overboard mainly becoz he doesn't respect you. I know you think he does but you’re naive “I know all the guys prob are gonna say just have butt sex” see naive thinking.

    3.) Stand-up to the butt f***er and let him know you have boundaries up front and if he need a man for gay sex its not you. Let him know your not going down that road to freak ville.

    4.) Where is the joke “not just him wanting anal and constantly joking about it” this isn't a joke; he wants to f*** you up the ass, why can't you see that. Here: he want you (insert your name here) to turn around or bend over, I am sure he want care either way, he then want to put his penis into your ass and f*** it like it was a vagina. There nothing sexy about that and its all mental.

    5.) Its always two sides to a story. I would be willing to listen to him maybe offer advice, but if he caring hate for another then you should be careful. That hate could be turned on you. Why do he hate her is what you need to worry about?

    Now I think you want to get f***ed in the ass and want other to encourage you to do it. You need to look at the risk to it so go visit a clinic before you through with this.

    • HAving been there and done that I agree with Soon103. There should only be two people in your relationship. Sit down and talk to him and let him know it's inappropriate to talk about his ex's with you. The past is the past and you're not interested unless it is going to personally affect you today. Men who brag about crap like that are trying to get you to stroke their ego. It also means they know they don't deserve or are worthy of you. remind him how important he is too you. Too much TMI

    • im weak? what should I be how I used to be and go back to jail? no...

    • also when he told me I wasn't nice about it. last night I told him if he needs to talk about her then go ahead and go screw the ugly twat because two pathetic people deserve each other. I have a very short temper and I have screwed myself out of many relationships due to my short fuse. I've been trying to fix it, had to go through anger management classes and now I feel like I'm TRYING to be nice and not hurt him, trying to change and it seems like its backfiring.

  • You don't know for certain that they had anal.

    You have nothing to be jealous over though, so stop that.

    You can tell him you don't want to hear him go on about his ex. That's totally fair and reasonable. He's a bit of a sh*t for doing it, to be honest.

    And as for doing the anal thing, if you're not ready, you're not ready. Having him go on and on and on about it, will not help the situation. At best, he might wear you down, you'll give in, you won't like it, and you'll wind up resenting him for it.

    If he can't learn to reign in this behaviour, and get used to the idea of your rear being a no-entry zone, then you have to question whether he respects you at all.

    How would he feel if you kept telling him "You know, my last boyfriend used to eat sh*t from my ass... it was so hot. Why don't you do that?"

Most Helpful Girls

  • WELL, IF HE HATES HER WITH A PASSION THEN THERE'S NO NEED TO BE JEALOUS. IF HE LIKED EVERYTHING SHE DID WITH HIM SO MUCH, THEN HE WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT HER. EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT YOU LOVE HIM AND YOU'RE NOT READY FOR IT, BUT WHEN THE TIME COMES, THAT YOU'LL LET HIM KNOW. AS FAR AS THE TRAVELING, MAYBE HE JUST LIKES TRAVELING AND WANTS YOU TO BE A PART OF THOSE THINGS.

  • Tell him your not okay with it, but also try something different, ( not butt sex. )

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • the guy is stupid. you don't present photos of you and an ex to your gf... your boyfriend is a dumb pig.. don't do anal if your not ready,.

    • i agree, he seems douchey.

  • Okay I don't really know what to say in terms of answering the question, but I just wanted to say that just because the ex was skinnier than you it doesn't mean she's more attractive. Skinnier does not mean more attractive. Some girls are way too skinny and this sickens me.

  • OK -- sorry to let you know -- but joking about it is the way a lot of guys ask for it. But, you should not feel pressured. He needs to back off on that. And just know. There are more than two options. It is not full on butt sex or closed off totally. How about just playing around, teasing with it, you know, have some fun with it? Everything BUTT the butt sex. In the meantime, check out puckerup.com. Anal Advisor Tristan Taormino is a girl telling girls all about how to have safe, fun, wonderful butt sex. And Google some other sources. Anal Sex Yes. Still, if you never want to do it, that is fine. But I would say he is a big time ass guy. As far as she is concerned, maybe make your own memories. Do some special things with him. So you can't travel to France. Can you do a picnic at a local spot -- with a really great dessert? I too went out with a pretty girl I had anal with. I was smitten -- till I really found out what kind of person she was. I guess I just ignored all the signs. It took a long time for me to get over it. Not saying all pretty girls are selfish, but this one sure was. Be patient, and work on the relationship, and he should come around. And, I do have to say, at some point, you will need to learn anal. Once you KNOW what to do, it is a lot less intimidating. Good luck!

  • This guy does not respect you he is showing pics of his ex. He may RESENT her but he is not over it. Also don't pressure yourself into doing it for him. If you do it l, do it only bc u want to and (I can not stress enough) USE a condom.

    • Yeah it did kind of sound like he was into his ex more than her.

    • Why stress a condom for anal?

    • @cavmanier yea agreed

  • He may hate her, but he's still preoccupied. You need to step this relationship backward until he's really over her.

  • You should stop acting like a child! If you are jealous because she did everything he wanted sexually, you should do the same! You're boyfriend will always remind of his ex, so you should please him like the other one did!

    Give him anal as much as he likes, and he will never talk about his ex ever again.

  • well f*** him he sounds like an a**hole