My boyfriend can't get hard or maintain an erection at all......Help!!

[BBryans07]

I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 months and he is 22 years old. I was his first kiss, and technically his first lover (though he barely got his penis inside me and ended up not being able to keep it up). I am 20 years old and have had a couple guys in the past (fairly successfully). This is my first virgin and he can never get hard. I have been very very understanding about it and I tell him that the fun is just in practicing and he agrees, but we never practice! Worse still, I will try so hard to just make out with him or find different things that might turn him on and the biggest reaction I get from him is "I don't know". I asked him if he just wants to lay off sex for a while and he tells me he wants to have sex with me, but that he doesn't find the actual act of it attractive. I have given him a half hour of great head, and it's still totally limp! I'm beginning to resent him for this, as I'm a very sexual person, and kind of miss being single. But my boyfriend fulfills me emotionally in all other ways. Help! What should I do?

[38rakia38]

Sounds like he's not relaxing.

I had a similar issue with my current partner, who had a hard time keeping it, well hard.

I ended up slipping him an herbal remedy (my grandmother is super into that sort of thing and we're really close) of Saw Palmetto and Ginger. You basically make tea out of it.

Worked like a freakin charm.

You can find Saw Palmetto and Ginger at a herbal store, like a homeopathy shop, and if you can't find one locally, you can always find places on the internet.

[BBryans07]

Thanks! That is really helpful! I bought some horny goat weed and offered him some, but he refused so maybe just slipping some with tea would work!!

[38rakia38]

Horny goat weed and Saw Palmettto taste like sh*t by themselves, not sure what the first tastes like but the second...omg, soap central. Plus, you never want to put too much of any herb when you make a tea. A tea spoon of HG and a tablespoon of ginger (add honey for good measure) should be enough for a decent cup. With the tea, try to be relaxed, don't make the situation about sex (because that's just not going to work well)--hell have a cup yourself. Do something romantic.

[38rakia38]

When I did my whole tea deal, we weren't even planning on doing it that night. Hell, we were just gonna watch a movie and make out...of course....one thing leads to another. Make it a no pressure situation, if it happens, it happens...if not, try again later.

[katiesmuff]

It sounds like he has a problem well beyond what you are going to be able to help. He needs professional help be it from his normal DR or one that specializes in sexual problems.

[l-hedoniste]

Do something else. Do ANYTHING else, as long is it doesn't involve his erection. From his perspective, his sex life with you has been a collection of failures, and the anxiety ("Please, PLEASE, don't let it happen now...") cannot be helping. You have to put that script to an end.

You can get back to his erection later, or much later, or whenever. Do. Something. Else.

[BBryans07]

Yeah, but that is part of the problem. He doesn't want to do anything else! He's given me one back rub and we've made out like maybe 5 times in our entire relationship.

[l-hedoniste]

He's being silly about this. Don't give him the choice. Have a deep talk about what else your sex can include; "all intercourse, all the time" is narrow and boring.

[Littletad]

He needs to see a doctor. He can't fix this on his own.