Sexual Health
+1 y

My boyfriend doesn't want me to use a toy

I don't get to see my boyfriend every day of the week and on the days I don't see him I get a little horny for him. I've never used a toy before and I'm thinking about getting one to satisfy me on the days he can't. He IS NOT OK with this. he says nothing but his pen is should go down there and I shouldn't feel the need to replace him when he's not around. is he crazy or should I just respect this?
Updates:
+1 y
I told him I would get something smaller than him and that I will always want him so so much more and that we could also use it together and he still is very against it
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Your boyfriend has some things to learn about sexuality.

    You are attracted to him, including sexually, but you are also a normal healthy young woman - you felt horny before you met him, and sexual urges will come up often. He can't realistically expect to be the only thing in your life that turns you on.

    Also, if you explore your sexuality with toys and your hands you will get to know your own body and responses better, and can become an even better lover for him.

    Eventually he may come to realize that toys can be a lovely part of lovemaking with two people together.

  • He's being kind of crazy unless he never masturbates. Get one of those little egg vibrators or any toy that's on the small side. Make sure it's smaller than his penis lol. Most toys for girls seem bigger than lots of guys are so maybe he's insecure that you will like something bigger than his own penis and not appreciate him anymore. I was insecure like that before but after I got used to toys I don't care what size a girl uses. Get him used to small vibrators first and then get whatever you really want.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Hes being controlling and insecure. he can't tell you what to do with your body for pleasure. he needs to be quiet. that's like a girl telling a guy he can't watch p*rn and masturbate to anyone unless he is thinking of her.

  • Does he jack off when you're not around to satisfy HIM? If so, he has no room to talk, at all. You can manually pleasure yourself however you'd like on your own time, outside of interaction with other people.

    • well yes he does and I also finger myself and he's fine with that but he says I shouldn't need a toy when I can wait for him

    • He needs to realize that a toy isn't something to replace him, nor would you prefer a toy TO him, it's for you to use to get off when you don't have access to him. Try to compromise with him, go toy shopping and let him help you pick something out. Explain that it's something you guys could use TOGETHER during sex sometimes, or explain that it wouldn't be a big deal to you if HE wanted to get some kind of toy for when you're not around, etc.

  • He may be afraid that you are using something that is bigger than him, & that he won't be able to satisfy you. Maybe if you get a like a vibrator or a smaller dildo he won't be so threatened.

    • @ update, it sounds like he has some sort of personal issue. I can only guess why, if you want more detail, I suggest you ask him what his reasons are.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 6

  • You should get the biggest vibrator you can find, and place it on your coffee table whenever he comes by. Seriously, your boyfriend should grow up. He IS crazy.

    • I like this idea :) he is being wayy too insecure.

    • Actually, I would also take a black marker, and mark on the vibrator exactly the size of his penis for comparison :)

    • i like the way you guys think

  • Not his p*ssy, not his business. He's nuts. I'm not even going to speculate on what insecurities are leading him there, because it's unimportant. He needs to deal.

  • he's crazy

    just because someone is masturbating with or without a toy

    while not with their partner is nothing disrespectful,

    If he masturbates then he's being a hypocrite

    It's insecurity so maybe try and ease him into it

  • He probably feels like his penis is not enough for you and you need a toy to be satisfied. Maybe you could compromise by getting a clone-a-willy kit and make an exact replica of his d*ck.

  • he's probably scared that you will fantasize about other guys, because it's not him that is in you.

  • He is a controlling insecure freak.

    Tell him straight up that how you masturbate has nothing to do with him, and if he doesn't like it, he take his insecure p****-ass and hit the road.

  • i think he's being too controlling

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