My boyfriend is disappointed I'm not a virgin?

Anonymous

So we were talking about something and he jokingly said "what would you know about it you're a virgin". So there was silence and I said I'm not. And he was a little sad and said "you're so innocent I don't want to believe that". He isn't a virgin and then after a few hours he was totally fine. But I am hurt that he reacted like that.

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Most Helpful Guys

Sigma88 Xper 5
+1 y
No offense, but your BF was an idiot.
Smart guys tend to make certain assumptions in the dating stage of a relationship, like understanding you have your own sexual history. To think otherwise is naive, at best. Secondly, no guy in their right mind wants to know your sexual history. It has no real place being brought up & discussed. Just like he's not going to be inclined to disclose his to you.
He either gets over it & learns, or he can kick rocks. You did nothing wrong, don't think otherwise.
0 0 0 1
Error_204 Guru
+1 y
Reality: Men don't like the idea that other men have fucked you.
7 4 1 0

Most Helpful Girls

Izzy2102 Guru
+1 y
I don't know it just sounds like he sees you as innocent so he got this idea in his head that you're a virgin and was disappointed that you're not.
Seems like he got over it though, so I wouldn't worry about it.

If you really want to know though, ask him if it's an issue You'd rather want to know sooner than later
2 0 0 0
musicbrain5 Master
+1 y
He needs to get the fuck over it. And if he can't, that's his problem. He's not a virgin so why is he disappointed that you aren't one either? Makes no sense at all. Men constantly complain about double standards that women often have against men, well this is one that men often have against women.
3 0 0 1
- dudeman
  +1 y
  Still his right to judge. So much hostility from your comment. Women can do what they wish but men have a right to judge
- musicbrain5
  +1 y
  @dudeman: I never said he's not allowed to pass judgment. But if he's going to stay with her, then there's not much else he can do except deal with it. It's not like they can go back in time, unfortunately. My answer only seems hostile since I don't sugar coat everything like most other people on this website. This is only my brutally honest opinion.
- dudeman
  +1 y
  No you used profanities and thats hostile. By saying its his problem sounded lime he should stay with her and just deal with being unhappy
- Show All Show Less
- musicbrain5
  +1 y
  @dudeman: And? Also if he's so unhappy about it he can leave. She's not holding him hostage. If he stays and is unhappy about her not being a virgin, well he's the one who chose to stay, so...
- musicbrain5
  +1 y
  @dudeman: And don't say that you think I'm spewing "feminist rhetoric", because feminism is a complete joke. My opinions are not influenced by such a radical group of people.
- dudeman
  +1 y
  Ok I agree he should get over it or leave or stay thill he gets bored lol.
irishelen Xper 7
+1 y
ask him the same question, and react the same he did. so that he can understand how it hurts... if he isn't a virgin he can't expect others to be
2 0 0 0
- dudeman
  +1 y
  It won't be the same because men are not women.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 6

kheserthorpe Master
+1 y
How long have you been dating?
0 0 0 0
kambo_trick3y Guru
+1 y
Gotta love hypocrites.
5 1 0 1
yaddayaddayadda02 Master
+1 y
Young guys can't handle women's sexuality. You have nothing to worry about.
8 1 0 0
- dudeman
  +1 y
  No they were just led to believe they would find a princess
- yaddayaddayadda02
  +1 y
  @dudeman, then those guys are idiots.
- dudeman
  +1 y
  No they are human. Its a growing up process you love is conditional and frankly relationships are a bussiness deal.
- Show All Show Less
- musicbrain5
  +1 y
  Lol, is this guy for real?
- yaddayaddayadda02
  +1 y
  @musicbrain - sadly, probably so. He sounds like he's parroting some redpill stuff he read.
- musicbrain5
  +1 y
  Sounds like it. I also never got that mention, wtf. This site is so weird sometimes.
- yaddayaddayadda02
  +1 y
  @musicbrain5 - looks like I forgot the '5' the first time.
- Lovinu20
  +1 y
  @yaddayaddayadda02 See, what did I tell you? Now you know my article is true. It is even more disappointing, however, for a guy who IS a virgin
- yaddayaddayadda02
  +1 y
  @lovinu20, both you and QA's boyfriend have an immature view of sex.
- Lovinu20
  +1 y
  Well believe it or not many have this viewpoint on sex so it is not just me or him.
- yaddayaddayadda02
  +1 y
  @livinu20, the only problem is that your views on sex only affect your penis, not mine.
- ArcticRussianFoxes
  +1 y
  @Lovinu20 ...
- Lovinu20
  +1 y
  @yaddayaddayadda02 And that is your life choice
Klaatu51 Master
+1 y
he should be proud basically
0 0 0 0
JackKerouac77 Guru
+1 y
Life is full of disappointments. The sooner you jump over them, the sooner you start livin' again.

Not everything always goes your way.
1 0 0 0
dudeman Guru
+1 y
Its ok he just realized he's never going to love you fully. Like fairy tale love. Its life lots of men simply just lose interest in women when they find out their true nature
0 1 9 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  Why? I am very loving and kind to him.
- dudeman
  +1 y
  Because you have given yourself to other men. you're damaged good basically. In a perfect world you would be a virgin. Thats his ideal and you're not it. He may be ok with going with you but if he could turn back the hands of time and meet you before he would.
- ShaeNielson
  +1 y
  Oh shut up, you are embarrassing yourself ;)
- Show All Show Less
- dudeman
  +1 y
  No im not. Its just reality
- ShaeNielson
  +1 y
  No it's not. It might be your reality, but not rational thinking people, who aren't complete morons. You need to control your ego, if you think your standards apply to all of society.
- dudeman
  +1 y
  No not all society just a lot of it. If less people want it value goes down. Supply and demand
- dudeman
  +1 y
  Universal concept
- ShaeNielson
  +1 y
  You forget that virgins aren't desired by all men. Many wants a women who have tried something. Men who aren't fucking idiots like you, doesn't give a shit if a woman is virgin or not. We can't all end up as old maids, as you clearly wants us too. Some women actually want to enjoy their life. So what if jerks like you gets scared by woman sexuality? Majority would never want someone whit your attitude and personality anyways.
- HaventMetYouYet
  +1 y
  @dudeman but he isn't a virgin either, so therefore he is also "damaged goods."
- dudeman
  +1 y
  Mmmm not so much women and men are not the same a mans sexual achievments as long as within reason are seen as ok by men and women. Also theen who want an experianced women are lower value men or men who dont actually want marriage and kids
- dudeman
  +1 y
  Also nobody is scarred of womens sexuality thats just more feminist rhetoric
- ShaeNielson
  +1 y
  Im not gonna discuss, you are a lost case. Just continue having your twisted view of society. Just know that not many men left, are assholes like you, so you opinion does only apply to those who doesn't even deserve a woman. I am not a feminist, but I can still tell when someone is a misogynist pig ;) And yes honey, women does actually have just as mush sexual desire as men. Do you know absolutely nothing? If your last statement about kids where true, there would be almost no marriages, and the world would need citizens. This world is overpopulated, so you do the guessing.
- dudeman
  +1 y
  The western world has a birth rate less then replenishment levels. We maintain population because immigrants who live by the old ways. Thanks for proving my point for me
- ShaeNielson
  +1 y
  Sure we do ;) They have a lot of babies they they can't support, because they live centuries behind the rest of us. They are very cultural, and in their culture, it's the norm to have a lot of children. We focus more on our careers, and get families later in life. Todays it's acceptable if you don't want children, but it haven't always been. It's not about virginity, it's about modern society.
- dudeman
  +1 y
  The thing is we dont get families later in life. Some do but about half of us won't which is a first. Men are biologically wired to not like women who get around. Its a bad investment of resources. You basically are not seeing this from a mans prospective
- dudeman
  +1 y
  Also people have always had careers. That excuse is non valid. So what else is it. Its promiscuity and the fact that older women have less to offer a man then her twenty year old self which would have been married decades before.
douride2 Master
+1 y
Sounds like a double standard to me. Might be you should look some where else for a BF.
1 0 0 0
- gapminder
  +1 y
  Lol sage advice
Anonymous
+1 y
Sounds like a dumb situation.
1 0 0 0
Anonymous
+1 y
Tell him to fuck off with his double standards.
5 0 0 1
Anonymous
+1 y
That is his problem - and his alone. You have nothing to feel bad about, it doesn't make you any less worth not being a virgin.
3 0 0 1
- dudeman
  +1 y
  Not as a person but she has less value as a women. If it werent so guys wouldn't care. Market value is down
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  No she doesn't thats bullshit. Only ignorant and old fashioned guys like you, who can think like that - and your type are not keepers. Market value is not down, it remains the same. A womans worth, is not based on how many dicks have entered her vagina. It depends on her as a person. Only a misogynist, objectifying bastard would judge a woman by her genitals. If no woman will fuck you, then poor you. But don't blame the woman who can actually have sex. @dudeman
- dudeman
  +1 y
  No its what it is. I dont make the rules I just acknowledge them. All of what you said is feminist rehtoric which fails to view men as equals. Men have different biology and different wants. Deal with it. Also I said her value as a person is unchanged juat her value as a women
- Show All Show Less
- dudeman
  +1 y
  Also I've been with multiple lifetimes of women. you're shamming language affects no one
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Woman have just as much sexuality and sexual desire as men does. You would know if you knew anything about the human mind and anatomy. It's not a basic rule, it's really a minority who are as stupid as you. Being a woman is the same as being a person you idiot, and her "value" doesn't decrease in any way. If anyone fails to view the opposite sex as equals, it sure as fuck is you. What you write reek of you being misogynist, and you sound like the scum of humanity. @dudeman
- dudeman
  +1 y
  Everything you said is not true. Also why are u getting mad. Im just educating you. The world is how it is not how you think it should be. The sooner you learn that the better
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Sure, so you knowingly make them less worth as woman, and don't give a fuck about it - what does that make you? ;) @dudeman
- dudeman
  +1 y
  Makes me a man who lives in a feminist driven society. Women changed the social dance men simply adjusted. she's a grown women who makes her own decisions. What it makes me is a man born in the late twentieth century.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Haha oh no honey.. In the 1800th century your opinion would be the general, but you need to realize, that the world have changed. Virginity is not a big deal anymore, it's not important, and it does not hold value. Get a grip of the real world. In your age, pretty much only the ugly ones, or crazy religious are still virgins. Men aren't superior anymore, and women aren't pretty objects to look at - deal with it.
- dudeman
  +1 y
  And the real world is less and less men every year want marriage or serious relationships with women howerver since the sexual revolution more and more women do. The more things change the more things stay the same. Also I dont expect to get a virgin at my age. I also dont really care for relationships anymore. I dont care if a women is a virgin or not because im never getting married or having kids. I still like to have fun though.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Yes there are less men who wants kids early, BUT it's because they are adapting to the modern world, where kids aren't always the meaning of life. They want to stay free, stay economically stable, focus on their career - and it's the same with woman. It have absolutely nothing to do, with the fact that most women above 16 aren't virgins anymore, it's about the modern world.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  @dudeman
- dudeman
  +1 y
  Mmmmm nahhh it has to do with men dont find women worth the effort. Women want a career men want to make just enough to by weed beer and games for the most part
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Okay I am done with this discussion, you are such an idiot, it hurts my brain. @dudeman

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My boyfriend is disappointed I'm not a virgin?

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