My boyfriend prefers porn over me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating a year.. At the beginning we had sex all the time and now we never have it. He never tells me he loves me nor compliments me. I would try to initiate sex but I have tried to just cuddle with him and he doesn't even want to do that. The last time we had sex, oral only didn't it for him as soon as we started having sex it didn't work and he said he need to be stimulated. I was embarrassed and feel awful that I can't do that for him. I can't handle rejection. I have turned to satisfying myself and that really upset him he actually took my vibrator away. So the other night we were messing around and I had gone down on him and he was fine I wanted to have sex but he didn't. The result after an hour did nothing for him. He turned on porn and was watching that during.. I asked him if he watches it and he was like yes I am not going to lie to you.. So I am wrong for touching myself and thinking about him.. But it's ok for him to watch porn and look at other girls? I am hurt because I can't please him but his hand and other naked girls can. There have been times when he thought I was sleeping and he gets him self aroused and then wakes me up to finish off... None the less the only time he tries to have sex with me is when he is under the influence.. And now that I am upset he is just trying to turn the situation around.. What do I do.. I do know that I am an attractive person. And I truly don't think he would cheat on.. But what if he's is web chatting? I am really heart broken abut this... : ( I can't even explain how much this has hurt me or if I can even get over this. Also I have never had a problem with porn.. I would watch it with him but now I hate it.

[Dippy_dancer]

you should ask him what his favourite porn film is then watch it together (whether you hate it or not he might think oohh maybe she wants to be involved)... if he doesn't fancy anything then done, and just simply go home.

The next couple of days you should watch the one he said alone and go out and buy the same lingerie ad the girl or the same clothing or something that matches the film, show up in it and put the tape on in the background... if its lesbian porn this won't work... but copy what she is doing on the tv, make sure he can see the tv so he's still getting his porn fix, but so the same. say what she is saying, do what she is doing.

if he enjoys this he could get turned on more easily without the porn if not keep persisting.. if he still doesn't want sex I suggest he see his GP because I'm guessing he has an extremely low libido which is a health problem not a problem on you...

Hopefully if the film thing turns him on he could end up hinting other films, like getting you to watch more with him... he may just be hinting on things he wants to try but is too nervous to say upfront.

Good luck anyhow!

[Anonymous]

That's a hard one I know how that must feel. Have you tried dressing up for him, role playing, talking dirty, he must like things rough and dirty. I would talk to him and ask him what he needs sexually. What does he expect you to do if he isn't pleasing you? Some guys need to be able to be themselves sexually with who they are with. Maybe he is embarrassed cause if he tells you what he really likes you will freak out or something. For example I am the type of girl who won't let my man call me a bitch when fighting etc but when we are having sex he can call me whatever he wants bitch, slut, whore, **** etc and I like it. It helps me get mine. He also likes to choke me and I like it too. We both like very dirty things and it works cause he knows I'm down with it. Sometimes he thinks I'm dirtier then he is and I think so too. Just explore what he likes be open with him. Playing games isn't gonna get you anywhere.

[Combat-Crash]

Have you talked to him about how all this makes you feel?

If he doesn't care, then he doesn't deserve you.

Take the thing back it's yours, haha.

Seriously, if you're fell the relationship is going no where, and you feel rejected.

I'd leave him.

[Asker]

I have talked to him and cried my heart out.. He was sry at first but now is turning it around on me.

[Combat-Crash]

Maybe I'm just different, but if that were me I would leave him. I don't care if someone doesn't agree with it. If he can't try to change or do something to make you feel better, you deserve better.

[Vendrix]

He sounds like a dick. Honestly from what you've said it sounds like he is just using you. At one point much earlier on in the relationship he may have cared but now you are just another toy for him. Please tell him enough is enough. He won't let you please yourself, he doesn't support your attempts to please him, and the WORST is he wakes you up just so he can cum. He has hurt you already as you have said, don't let him hurt you more. Get out and find someone new.

In hindsight, perhaps you started being sexually active too soon and gave him impressions of being completly willing to serve and satisfy him.

I'm sorry you've had to deal with a guy like this.

[Anonymous]

i think you should break up with him cause you said you were heart broken and

no girl deserves to be neglected like that

[Anonymous]

Oh then if you have tried EV ERYTHING POSSIBLE then move on. It does hurt to be rejected and some say porn is a form of cheating when they don't do it with you.