Sexual Health
+1 y

My boyfriend turned down a threesome?

my boyfriend turned down a threesome! I am curious as to what it's like to be with a girl but I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend, I love him. So I offered to let him watch me hookup with a girl and he turned that down so then I offered to let him participate as long as he didn't actually have sex with her. He still turned it down. he said he only wants me and he doesn't want anyone else touching me. I really respect that and love that he loves me that much but... I thought a threesome was every mans dream? we've been together 11 months.
0 1

Most Helpful Girls

  • No, not every guy wants a threesome. And even some of those who fantasize about it, wouldn't want to actually do it.

    - not every guy finds girl on girl action hot

    - some guys believe that sexual activity should be limited only to the person you're in a relationship with

    - some guys would get jealous seeing their girl with another girl

    - some guys might worry that their girl might leave them for the other girl

    - some guys might worry that a threesome could cause problems in their relationship

    And to be honest, it sounds like your reasons for wanting this are purely selfish. You want to be with another girl, and since you can't do that without it being considered cheating, you offered to let him watch. You only offered to let him participate (with restrictions) AFTER he turned down watching. If my partner only wanted a threesome for what THEY would be getting out of it and was only including me so that they could get what they want, I'd more than likely turn down the offer.

    • BINGO!

    • EXACTLY - I would turn it down EVEN though I definitely would love a threesome... Don't put restrictions on him and don't be so selfish about it and,even though he will probably still turn it down, at least you gave a fair offer.

  • Nah my ex was the same way.

    He actually despised my girlfriend of 3 years. He was cool with me being bi and he knew I was monogamous with just the two of them, but when we offered a threesome to him.

    He turned us both down and said he'd rather not.

    When I asked why, he said "Because I prefer having you all to myself, I don't want to have to share with anyone. I'm okay with you both having a relationship and being sexual, but the truth is, I'm a little jealous of her that she gets to sleep with you too. It's hard for me to want a threesome because I don't think she's attractive and I would rather be the only one nailing you, watching her nail you with a toy...or vice versa...it would just make me jealous."

    • You were simultaneously dating a guy and a girl?

    • Yes... There's 0 shame in it. I inform potential boyfriends and girlfriends of the fact that I am into both and that I plan on having both. Some people are okay with this, others are not.

  • I don't think I could ever have a threesome with someone I was in a relationship with and/or had feelings for. Cause regardless of the third person's gender, I don't think I could watch someone I care about have sex with someone else. You don't want your boyfriend to have sex with another girl, and he doesn't want you to either.

Most Helpful Guys

  • WTF ? It's wonderful to be in love like that BUT...you are correct in that any normal man that's not gay would love that ! I HAVE experienced it on multiple occasions. What he'll hopefully grow to understand is that it's not like she's going to take you away from him. That's a security issue.

    The fact that you came right out and told him you're bi-curious, were I in HIS shoes, would have had me pumping my fist and saying YYYYYyyyyyeahhhhh BABY !

    Give him time...and try this...next time you're going down on him...instead of keeping him in your mouth when he gets close...start going up and down with your lips and tongue on the side of his cock...then after he pops...ask him something like..."Now then...wouldn't you like to have TWO girls doing that? One for each side?" And just see what he says.

    You two are quite young...I think he'll grow into it. Keep me posted, OK ? I'd like to see if I'm right...

  • I might not want to either because it sounds like you want to do this but you have some hangups as far as he is concerned. First you said he could watch, then you said he could sort of participate but only if he kept himself in check. My concern would be that even if you said it was okay, you would be pissed at me when it was over. Maybe you could break the ice a little bit and see if this is for you by going to a strip club and getting a lap dance together. My ex-girlfriend and I did that for my birthday once. It was awesome. Having my hands on two women at once was a treat. Also the strippers were actually cool and didn't treat me like some sort of idiot who could be tricked into thinking that if I stuffed enough money into their underwear I might get to take one of them home. They just acted like normal people. It was a lot of fun.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

Girls, do you have sex drive?
I just want to get fucked! How to get a guy to approach you/notice you at a party?
Are you mentally ill or mentally healthy, and is it difficult or easy for you to orgasm during masturbation?
If a guy told you he could cum farther than he can pee, what would be your reaction?

What Girls & Guys Said

3 15

  • I'm thinking that he just doesn't want to share you because of how much he loves you. I contemplated the idea of a threesome with one of my exes, but I love my boyfriend so much that the idea of sharing him is a complete turnoff to him. But you won't really know exactly why unless you ask him.

  • Face it. Some guys only want to be with the one they love

    AND

    they don't want to share.

    I can relate.

  • I think you should be really really glad actually !

    the guy is right , it would probably cause a weird situation

  • Well I don't think that I would want to do it with a girl that I really care about , I think that these kind of things its better to be when you are not in a relationship .

  • "I thought a threesome was every mans dream?"

    Nothing is every man's dream, as you now know. Plan B: you beg and beg and beg for permission to be with a girl, without him.

  • A MFF threesome is not a fantasy of mine. I would consider it if my partner really wanted it, but frankly it would be as part of a move to an open marriage in general. Which is something I might be okay with. But I would not specifically be excited over mFF.

  • No a threesome isn't every guys dream, some guys dream is to be in a happy relationship with the love of their life, which makes it seem like he's already living his dream.

  • Not interested in ever having a threesome, the thought is probably nice for some guys but it honestly doesn't seem that appealing. Why focus on two at once when you can focus on one? Plus she'd be my girl and I wouldn't want to share her with a guy or girl...

  • It is every man's dream. When we're single. When we're in a relationship there are definitely still guys who'd do it but a lot share the sentiments that your Boyfriend does. We want you to ourselves.

  • Hmm that's weird. Maybe he's shy?

  • it's just saying that he cares about you enugh to not even take a threesomme

  • Maybe he just cares about you and no one else?

  • I would do that too, I guess sex isn't important to some people.

  • You said he could watch and he turned you down, then you said he can join in but no "sex". What would you let him do to her/her to him? Touching? Kissing? Oral?

  • i would do it. then dump you. :)

    cheers.

  • "so then I offered to let him participate as long as he didn't actually have sex with her"

    Do you think you might be lesbian?

    • No. I just don't want him to dirty his d**k with someone else.

    • That would be considered cheating even if you were in the room and having a threesome could be considered cheating. You explained as if you might have lebianal feelings for another girl

    • Answerer: Uhm actually the definition of cheating depends on the person actually.. Not what you have decided. Haha

    • Show All

  • If he said to you let me experiment with a guy while you watch

    would you be okay with it

    I wouldn't as I don't like the idea of sharing and to me it's sort of cheating

    • My wife suggested that at one point, since I *am* bisexual and have had sex with guys before. But I refused stating that I only want her now, and nobody else regardless of gender.

  • Some guys don't like sharing. Some guys are also insecure. Maybe he's worried that this experience will create problems. Either way, TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT.

    • What's wrong with not wanting to share? Definition of Love: selfishness for two.

Latest Questions

How would you feel if your woman had a higher sex drive than you? and how would you handle that?
What gender has more sexual fetishes?
Is it normal that I think giving a man blowjobs is disgusting?
Why did my boyfriend ask me to send my fingers picture?
Home >  Sexual Health  > My boyfriend turned down a threesome?