I don't enjoy masturbation at all, but I enjoy sex (though I have never climaxed). I like the physical/emotional connection with another person, not just the physiological act. Just another way to think of it. Also how do you feel about just kissing and making out? Can that leave you wanting more?
I should say that I suffer from a whole host of medical problems, one of which if chronic fatigue. So I really can understand the desire to take a nap rather than hump.
In general if you feel pressured into any kind of sexual act you won't enjoy it, whether it is with your own hand and a toy or your BF. I've found that negative experiences like that can compound and you just don't want to deal with the whole subject. It has taken time and someone willing to really put in the work, time, and attention to find out what works for me (with out any expectation of favors in return).
He's right that it's important to know what you like. Just be relaxed and patient. Don't go into it thinking you're not going to feel anything. Self-explore, imagine something really hot or sexy, and touch what feels good. If you're using a vibrator, well unless you have a loss of nerves down there I don't know how you wouldn't feel anything. It makes being in the right head space less important because it evokes such intense pleasure directly. I think your issue is a mental block though. Loosen up.
Maybe you are asexual. And that's okay. Or, were you brought up in a conservative culture that labeled sex as "dirty" or "evil?"
Or, maybe it's a health problem. Or, you aren't attracted to your boyfriend.
There's nothing wrong with you. This is a normal for a bit of the population. Not everyone finds sex to be the ultimate pleasure and there are more than you think who simply share the same sentiment where it isn't really or bad feeling.
Using a vibrator and dildo is not the answer because it will not change your nature and if it does it will only increase a dependency on the vibrator, no the dildo, which ultimately means that because human penises do not vibrate you are worsening the problem. In short your man means well but is clueless and needs to be more understanding trying to fix his own issue with your anorgasmic response rather than fix you and your response.
In essence his manhood is being challenged. It just doesn't sound like you have an actual problem.
Yeah you have libido problems. You should probably see a doctor or psychologist. You shouldn't have such a lack of passion for sex, which is why you are not enjoying it. You simply don't care.
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what is that?
it's like viagra ha ha it was supposed to be a joke.. don't actually take it
Did you have a question?
what should I do? I don't know how to get myself horney
You mention you are 'tired all the time'. Any depression? Thyroid ever been checked? Any other health issues?
im tired all the time because I have a busy and stressful job and work long hours
As you've answered...you have some sexual hangups that you might want to explore and address. That being said, relaxation and a good mind-set is key. If you're sure you're not going to like something, don't be surprised when that comes true.
talk to your doctor. it's not normal for a 24 year-old woman to have no sex drive
what would be normal for someone my age then?
for a 24 y.o., you should want sex at least 3x per week, not including giving blow jobs and cunnilingus
You should talk this out with him.
I have
Masturbation is a good way to get to know your body and what you need in order to orgasm. If you don't enjoy it, it may be that you just have a lower sex drive.
You could see a doctor, if you're serious about trying to increase your libido.
Libido is normal. There's no expression of sudden change so there's no reason to assume there's mental, physical, or emotional trauma damage that would effect libido. Now here man's ego? That obviously has been damaged.
He's probably right.
If you don't even enjoy masturbation, it seems unlikely you could enjoy sex. It's probably a psychological issue. If you feel sexually unattractive or you feel guilty about sex and sexual touching, that can cause problems.
I do think sex is a bit gross... but I think I'm just too tired all the time.
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