My boyfriend wants to have sex

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 moaths. He wants to have sex and has openly talked to me about it. I had a baby when I was 16. I'm 21 now. The dad of Addison left when he found out I was pregnant. I don't wanna go through that again. I wanted to wait till marriage. But I'm afraid I'll lose him if I don't have sex with him. What do I do? I love him and I don't want to lose him. But I also don't wanna get myself hurt at the same time.

[Cantremember]

Not sure the sentence "I want to wait till marriage with you" comes across as good when you are holding a baby on your arm.

Towards getting hurt:

Everyone fears getting hurt. There is no insurance. The sad truth is: people often back off in fear of getting hurt, missing out their entire life in fear. There are actually scientific studies done on this. And the result: people that are vulnerable are happier. That doesn't mean you should be a risk-taker. But if you hide your entire life under a blanket you won't be happy either. The chance of being killed in a car accident tomorrow is way higher than your relationship failing, actually. So stop being so afraid. Being afraid doesn't protect you.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Confront him about the fact that if he wants to be in the relationship, it has to be for the entire packaged deal. He has to want to be the best step-dad ever. And tell him that if you get pregnant with his child, he'd better be willing to assume fatherhood of that child as well. Make his willingness to go through with that, signing his name to a sheet of paper saying he agrees to those terms, be a condition of him getting sex from you.

If he leaves, then he would have been a bad fit for you and your child/children anyway.. The kids have to matter more; no compromising that one.

[StrayKitten]

If he leaves you because you want to wait, he was never into you for real in the first place. I'd say talk about it with him and if he really understands, He'll wait and he won't leave you.

[sarcasticbella]

If that's what you really want and he's not willing to wait then he's worth holding on to and you need to find someone like minded and willing to accept your terms

[Lovelesspassion]

If he won't respect you enough to wait till marrage he's not a guy you want around. Anyway.

Respect is everything. If you ask him to wait and he really loves you he will wait and understand why aswell.

[katiesmuff]

I he really loves you he will wait for it.

[Paraneesh]

You are right in wanting to wait till marriage. If he can't accept that then you need not comply to avoid consequences. You need not cave in under pressure.

[Ryosanada]

If he can't understand that you want to wait, then all he wants is sex. If you want to screw him, then use birth controle and/or a condom too. But don't give in just because he wants one thing and you don't. You are in controle of your life, as he is his. But you have to choose what you want to do. And is it worth doing in the long run? Who's to say that he wouldn't leave after having sex?

[risted]

"But I'm afraid I'll lose him if I don't have sex with him."

this is not a legitimate reason to do it with him. you have to ask yourself what do you want? do you want to wait till marriage now or do you want to wait until you feel more comfortable and see what type of guy he is? if you genuinely want to wait until marriage, you WILL run the risk of losing him but if that's the case and he bounces, did you really want that kind of guy who isn't willing to wait for you anyways?

[sweet_18]

Just make sure you don't get pregnant.

[Dragan]

Why not have sex with him? If you are afraid of pregnancy, requesting to put a condom

[Asker]

I always used condoms with my Addison father and I still got pregnant. That's why the box says 99% protected.

[Anonymous]

It is a temporary relationship, you may be looking towards marriage but it's not love in the full sense. Love in the full sense is forever, there are no limits. Yes hasn't been said forever yet and the exit option is there. When a relationship gets sexualized, things can start to revolve around the bedroom rather than each other. You won't regret just spending time with each other rather than sleeping with each other. You need to know if this is the person for you.