My ex still masturbates to my pictures...

My ex and I are still friends, we've never had sex. But we were more intimate than kissing & have seen each other fully naked. He told me today he still masturbates to my pictures. We went to college together for two years and I've been in love with him for five years. But he doesn't live close to me, so we never were able to have a relationship and even when we did live near each other, we were less mature than we are now. So we were still 'dating' around. We haven't crossed the 'just friends' line in over a year. Then he brings that up today. He's single. Also I randomly told him that I am in better shape now because I've been working out everyday and he told me that he couldn't imagine how my body could be any better. What should I think of him telling me all this?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well its pretty obvious he still thinks of you everyday and holds you with high regard. I'm guessing he still has deep feelings for you, or then again just wants to get into your pants but you know him better than we do.

    Would you think of him less for what he told you? Or does it interest you? What was your first initial thought?

    • I definitely didn't think less of him for it, I still love him & want to be with him. A part of me was happy about it. That he still wanted me in some way. But I get scared, because I still love him & I don't know if he has feelings for me or if he just wants to have sex with me. He knows its not happening, because I'm not until I'm married. He and I have been friends for 5yrs, we're best friends.

    • Well then you should know him well enough by now, is he going to pressure you? I would just wait and see it out and date a little bit, how are his actions, show that you care and that you want him too. Test him out and see what his reaction is, you will eventually find out what he really wants.

    • thanks so much, that's good advice :) Except that's more for someone who just got together. after five years of talking every day and being best friends, he knows I care and still love him. I am dating other people. I'm not worried about dating him, I just was interested in seeing guys opinions on why he was still doing that ha ha Also after five years, of course he's not going to pressure me. He would have years ago.

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  • If you still love him for who he is, you would wana improve his ego by giving him a chance. Let him express himself in whatever way he wants to but just keep in mind he's nervous or intimidated for now but, once he gets into a relationship with you, he'll get better.

    • thank you very much for the response. I'll definitely keep that in mind. The only problem is, I have given him a chance and we never ended up in a relationship. I don't know if we ever will. Although it's something I still secretly hope for. I just don't want to think too much about it, because he may just be sexually interested in me & not as a girlfriend. I don't know...

    • You know, to be very honest, a nervous guy can't help it if he is sexually attracted to a girl. And that he can't hide. It might be he is both sexually interested in you and also you as a girlfriend. I am sure once you do it, he's gonna stop being obsessed about it.

    • haha well that's true, but he's not nervous. He's very confident in himself and actually unless we get married, we won't ever have sex. Because I'm not until I'm married. Yeah yeah, I don't want to hear that I'm stupid. I'm not asking if you agree, It's just a personal choice. He's a christian and even though he's had sex, he respects & agrees with my choice

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • He's intimidated that you are better without him. Play it cool, and don't care what he says.

    • I understand why he still masturbates to you. He's definitely an idiot for leaving you.

    • thank you, I'll definitely keep that in mind! I did act casual about it. Well more than I would have in the past. He asked me if I minded and Instead of playing into it, I just said "nope, why would i? It's not like you haven't seen them before :P", he said that's true and then I told him about how I'm in better shape now and he said the think about he couldn't imagine. Then I told him, it's true and that I was chillin with some friends so I'd talk to him later. Is that playing it cool or no?

    • Nice, that's definitely playing it cool. I hope you find a guy who will treat you better; it's sad to see pretty girls ending up with losers.

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  • ive never told a girl that I've masturbated to her. what you do is your own privacy and that draws the privacy line. what he did was wrong, end of story. besides, he's an ex, sounds like he just wants the sex, whether you had it when you were together or not.

    • thanks :) well he and I are very open sexually with each other. So it didn't bother me that he told me. it's not like he told random people. & he doesn't just want sex. he's not just an ex, he's my best friend. He knows I won't have sex until I'm married. He may be physically attracted to me but he wants me to wait too, we're both Christians. We're not apart because we want to be, we're not together because he lives 11hrs away & it's hard for us. I just wanted guys opinions on it...

    • its OK to be "abstinent" but..just chill out. I've known some of the most uptight virgins. once youve had sex, you'll losen up a little. trust me. sounds like you need to

    • huh? you obviously know nothing about me at all. You just made yourself look like a fool. Judge yourself before you judge strangers. Considering you said masturbation is private, you're obviously a little more uptight than I am about sex.Keep your opinions to yourself...Only constructive advice is really necessary since the rest of it just makes you look more ignorant minded than the person asking the question in the first place. You can have all the 'loose' girls & I'll stick with real men

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  • I don't know what you are asking... I mean, it's pretty obvious that he's still interested in you, right? Though I'm not sure if that's just lust or what, since he only seems interested in your body... Anyway, that's just my opinion. Your call: you know him better than any of us would.

    • Thanks for your opinion :) I asked what I should think about him still doing that...like why he possibly was. I'm not a guy. I don't randomly masturbate to pictures of ppl. That's not how most women work. Some women, but the majority of us dont. Also if you read, we've been best friends for five yrs. I've never had sex with him, I'm not having sex before marriage. so he's obviously sticking around for more than just my body. But right now it does seem like that is a more dominate interest.

    • Well, that's not really obvious, to tell you the truth; some guys will stick around just BECAUSE they haven't had sex yet, and they see you as a challenge. However, I doubt that's the case with this guy. Given your history together, and that you've both had a chance to date other people, I think his interest in you yet proves that he can't get you out of his mind, though whether that means love or simply that you've made yourself that intriguing, it's hard to say. You'll have to find out...

    • haha ya, that makes sense. Thank you for the advice :) I appreciate it.

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  • If that profile picture is of you then I don't blame him.

    • yeah that is a picture of me :)