My Fwb can't or won't cum...why?

when I go down on him he never finishes. He starts shaking and moaning then when I think he will he'll stop me then a he wants to cuddle, ten minutes later he'll get me off and ask me to go down again and process repeats. I've asked him about it and at first he said he just didn't want to blow on me but now he's claiming "its just not gonna come out" when I ask him why he says he just doesn't know...id say he's being selfish cause he won't go down on me but he finds other ways to get me off and I love going down on him and would find him getting off a total turn on but I'm sick of doing it cause its blow to my ego that he's never fully gotten off, what should I do?
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • Its possible he has something called Delayed Ejaculation (or retarded ejaculation) basically its when you can last longer than average, and in some cases don't actually cum. I won't go massively into detail as there will be plenty about it online, but basically the guy who has it can find it very difficult to come when someone else is doing it for him. It could be down to something like lack of sensation, technique or anxiety about satisfying the partner

    If this is his problem then there's a good chance he doesn't actually know what it is, I only discovered last month that this is a genuine thing and I'm 24. This was a problem in my last relationship as she felt she wasn't pleasing me which affected her confidence and at times upset her, and I had no idea what it was that was causing me to have difficulties. I was with her for several years and not once did I come through oral, and infact only once in my life have I ever managed to do so.

  • yeah I have this problem too. it's really annoying when the girl feels self-conscious she can't make me come but that actually makes it more difficult for me cause I just feel under pressure when I should be relaxed. can be caused by loads of things, nerves, wrong atmosphere in the room, guilt, other problems in your friendship. but I've never managed to get off from a bj in my life so maybe I just don't like them - apparently some guys don't! it doesn't sound like it bothers him that much so try to just let it go for now...

Most Helpful Girl

  • sounds like maybe he means what he says and thinks it would not be right to come in your mouth. Even if you want him to, if its against his way of thinking he isn't going to do it.

    Next time he goes to stop you what if you just didn't stop and kept going? Maybe if he got off once like that he would like it but on the other hand he might really resent you forcing the issue . I don't think what he does sounds selfish, sounds kind of like he's taking care of you regardless of him cuming or not cuming.

    I don't know what you can do other than talk more about it and hope you can help him to see how it makes you feel . Meanwhile try and understand his feelings about it too. Maybe you can work out something, I hope so.

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

0 3
  • Two options:

    1. Realize that not all men ejaculate from fellatio.

    2. Quit wasting your time on the process.

  • Use your hand on the tip more.

  • When he is getting close (fast, deep breathing, precum flowing) stroke his shaft lightly and very quickly, even frantically, while you "nurse" (numming and licking like a baby) at the cap. The problem is he needs an extra push when he is about to come. The adrenalin of being aroused too long tires him out and he wants to cuddle until he recovers. The key is to strongly push him over when he is at the top.