My girlfriend never lets me finish?

The last four times we have had sex I haven't came. She would come two or three times. It has been like this forever but not this bad. It used to be every other time. I can deal with that. I know you're going to say talk to her about it. I have before and all she said was "you don't have to come every time"...
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I have been thinking about marrying her because I know that everyone has their low points in a relationship but I do love her and we compliment each other greatly. Other than she is selfish and I am too giving. I have never cheated on her or any of my ex's but I have been thinking about it more recently which makes me feel like sh*t, but I can't stop myself :( I do love this girl and I don't want to hurt her.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • You need to resolve this quick or you will begin to be very resentful and your relationship will be in trouble. People don't always finish at the same time, but if she cares about you, she should offer to "help" you out in another way until you are satisfied as well.

    I don't go with the idea of playing games... e.g., not letting her finish, or anything like that. You don't want to give her an excuse to blame you in that case. Just be straight up with her. Tell her there is something on your mind, that it is bothering you that she is not considering what you need. Put the ball in her court- ask what is she willing to do to make you happy, to resolve the problem.

    I suspect she is plain selfish, but if not, she should be willing to do whatever it takes to satisfy you too. Just watch out for backsliding... she might return to her old bad habits.

    • She is just plain selfish. I am just now seeing it. Well I shouldn't say that I have always seen it but I have always over looked it. I have been staying at her place at night because she freaks if I dont. She get hungry at night and I have to buy her a meal. I really don't mind if I'm eating to, or I don't mind it everyonce in a while. but like 4 times a week. She is selfish about everything she does.

  • She's not changing, she's not interested in fixing it, and she doesn't seem to care all that much whether your happy. Get used to it, or leave.

    • best sh*t I have heard yet! thanks man I just need to get my balls outta my ass and be the man I was when we first got together!

    • Plenty of fishes in the sea, boss. Throw this one back.

    • You should get used to it and go with it. Try out chastity; giving her the keys. Focus on her pleasure first. Explore tease and denial.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I'm sorry, but sex should be about both sides of the relationship. I always feel bad when I can't get my man off and he has to reasure me that it isn't my falt. In the same way though he doesn't like it when I don't climax.

    I don't know why you aren't comeing evertime, but maybe suggest that she give you a handjob or a blowjob to get you off. If you don't have to come very time, neither does she.

    If she really doesn't want to work to let you feel satisfied, you can easily point out that she has hands and can get her own self off.

    I know that sounds tough, but she sounds like she doesn't really care about how you enjoy...or don't enjoy sex.

  • It's one of three things:

    (1) You're doing what you need to (to get her aroused, etc.) and she's too sore to keep waiting.

    (2) She's a selfish lover and just doesn't care whether or not you're done.

    (3) Legitimately depending on the time of day, she may not have the energy/stamina to keep up with you.

    Yes, I'm going to say "Talk to her" -- but see which of these she considers herself. If she explains that she's (1), slow down what you're doing to allow yourself the time you need. If she's (3), change up the time of day and see if that makes a difference. If she's (2), you've got a big decision to make.

  • i would hate to say this because its just putting you down to her level but I would just have really fast sex with her an you just come and when she asks why she didn't get to finish, you should answer with "you don't have to come every time". then you should talk to her about how having sex is about pleasure for the both of you, not just one person and until she realizes that then that's how having sex is going to be like. I'm sure if you do it like that she'll get the message about letting you finish because it's just too silly to not let someone finish.

    • This is a very childish way of getting it done but I TOTALLY agree.. You love her. So giving her chances is important to you obviously since you keep putting up with it. Start do all the things YOU like until you come. Keep doing it until she gets really pissed and calls you out.. Then tell her " You don't need to come every time" See how she responds... She clearly doesn't understand words so this matter takes action

  • She needs to realize that it's different for girls and guys when they don't come. For girls, we just get cranky. For guys apparently, it's a lot more physical. And honestly, both of you should be coming EVERY time. You need to tell her exactly what you want her to do because it's a little obvious she doesn't know what you want.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Whatever you do, don't marry her! Do you honestly think she is going to get better after you are bound to her? I made that mistake.. ignored some bad warning signs and married her anyway. I thought she might mellow, that she might change. It didn't happen. The sex tailed off to almost nothing, and even then it was a case of if she wanted it, when she wanted it, and how she wanted it- her way or the highway. When she wasn't being rude or abusive, she treated me like I was no more special to her than a roommate, which I basically was.

    You don't want to hurt her, but she appears not to have any problem doing that to you. think about that a while.

  • She's being selfish, there's no reason not to let you cum. Sounds like she feels like she has a power over you and is enjoying it. Next few times don't let her cum, when she says something you tell her, "you don't have to come every time"

  • Have sex finish first, then roll over say good night, don't worry you don't always have to come every time, sucks don't it, oh and you know where the door is, I'll call you later.

  • thats well welfash :O I always wait for my guy to finish, I like how long they last the logner the better

  • If she's saying that you don't need to finish every time, then she's being insensitive and selfish. If that were the case, I'd really be upfront and say something to her. It's not good at all to be making her feel good every time while you just have to accept not getting the same. Also, if it's every time and she's either not noticing that it's each time, or she's choosing not to notice. If nothing will get through to her then I'd just stop having sex with her (you're not getting anything out of it anyway). Some people might say that a guy can't have the same effect of withholding sex from a girl, but I beg to differ. If she's getting off multiple times each time, then she's going to notice when she's not getting that anymore.

    Maybe then will she actually sit down and talk to you straight about it.

  • Rule #1 in a relationship: you don't know better your partner what your partner needs.

    So it's not just selfish. It's also disrespecting your needs and your right in knowing what's best fir you. And that's what you need to talk about with her. Not about the sex.

  • I bit of well-intentioned advice from a person with your giving disposition and still got married. Please DON'T DO IT. You'll end up completely dissatisfied. It's not a matter of loving or not loving. You both have needs that should be met. If she can't respect your need to finish, you're going to end up cheating, which is not fair to either of you. Really.

    In the end you may both be better off loving each other but as friends, being in separate, more satisfying relationships.