My girlfriend wants me to be more aggressive in bed. Has anyone got any tips?

I'm in a long distance relationship and will be seeing my SO soon. I'm more of a passionate lover but she wants it rough. We've started talking dirty and sending pics and things to one another, I'm just concerned that when it comes down to it I won't be able to fully commit to it, making it half assed and awkward, or I'll get too into it and wind up hurting her.
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Make a codeword! I know that sounds stupid but if its something you wouldn't say during sex usually then you will know she is very serious about stopping (eg you might be hurting her). I wouldn't worry too much and do what she asks. Just think like a sexual beast or an animal :) that should do the trick for bein rough. or try reading some bdsm stories. those might be a little intense but look at what they use for foreplay. try doin it different posistions too (like doggie style). that allows you to be rough and take control. she'll love you :)

Most Helpful Guys

  • Well, she'll tell you if you're hurting her

    I'm sure you would know the difference in pain by trying it out on yourself

    For stuff like:

    Pinning her against the wall, pushing her down on the bed

    Bend her over something

    Light biting

    Spanking

    Hair pulling

    Dirty talk, like call her a slut or a whore if she likes it

    Facef***ing, pushing her head down(maybe talk about this one before)

    Positions like doggy can show your aggresive side

    • This ^^

  • Either get some clarity on what she wants, or get a safe word (or two). One safe word might mean 'this is okay, but no rougher' and another might mean 'stop'.

    Then you could get into it without being worried.

    Safe words are for the dom as much as the sub, I think.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You can spank her a little.

    • Yeah, we've done that before. But she's told me she wants me to be really aggressive. Almost as though she wants to be dominated. I'm just worried about hurting her.

    • Just tell her that if you're getting too rough to just give you a signal to stop or slow down.