My husband doesn't last long enough anymore?

My husband used to be a sex addict and would masturbate all the time, like 8 times a day and still wanted sex twice a day. It was wrecking our marriage because he would do it in very inappropriate times and places, and had no respect for our roommates, would do it in the den with them sleeping on the couch. He would also do things to me in my sleep and I'd never know. It was scary so I made him get help. Well now he's hardly masturbating at all, which is great, but he cumms in like 5 minuets. He's always done just as I start to enjoy it. It's depressing both of us. I love him so much but I'm starting to have thoughts of other men because I'm unsatisfied in bed. I know that's horrible, and I feel horrible so please hold the insults and tell me what we can do? We live with his parents, younger brother, and grandmother. We can't afford our own place and we are trying to get out, but that said, privacy can be an issue.
Updates:
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We sat down together and had a talk and he offered to go online and try to find some tips and suggestions. He seems much happier already and has been attempting to use some of what he found. We both agree that he should masturbate more and see if that helps. Thanks to those of you who gave mature respectful replies!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • This is fixable it will take a little while but if you're working together it's much faster.

    I could list a whole lot of stud but it is easier to just send the two of you link

    Btw going from 5-20 minutes is substantially easier then 1-5.

    A short answer regarding what was said elsewhere - he should edge daily, twice a day if he wants but only orgasm a few times a week and he should -never- let himself orgasm from masturbating for less then 20 minutes.

    • Thank you very much for this link, he made an account and was very happy to see some of the information available there. I think this is going to help him a lot.

  • Isn't it possible that the reason he comes in 5 min is because he does not masturbate anymore? If he never masturbated before, he would always have been coming in 5 mins.

    My point is, don't take it as if something has gone wrong with him. I have the problem of coming too early too. I just cannot hold it. What I have tried is very long foreplay aithout binging the penis into play. Just keep it out and prolong. However, the onus lies on him to do that.

    • Thats what I was thinking, but he is worried he will slip back to his old ways and do it too much. What's a "healthy" frequency for masturbation? Like how often do most men do it? I don't mind him watching p*rn hell I watch it, and I masturbate. I just hate it how he feels like he's not good enough for me anymore :( I miss his smile.

    • I feel for the both of you. You seem to be nice. I always respect married couple talking about sex. I think twice a week or 3 times in 2 wks would be something normal. I guess it is very subjective. But I think more than what I am guessing would be on the border of saying that the person has no contriol.

    • Oh wow ! Thank you for the BA. Really appreciate it. But what I am really glad about is that I could add some value and you were open to take it as advice. May you both have a happy life. :) PS: Please excuse my typos earlier. Touchpad kills me.

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  • There are a lot of resources online that'll be, frankly, better than GAG. However, one potential or partial solution would be to have him go down on you and get you off or at least close to coming first...Having a good, healthy sex life is important to a relationship. It's worth working at!

  • Why not trying to have sex again after he first cums, I assume that he is your age range (25 to 29) if that is the case then he should have no problem at all getting hard again and just go for round 2. If he does have trouble getting up again then I would almost recommend him masturbating again which should help him last longer as well.

    • He always gets too physically tired before he can cumm a second time.

  • Try different positions to help him out.

    • When my knee heals up, I'll get on top. We both enjoy that, and doggy. I'm limited to missionary atm :( Come to think of it, I can say that has probably contributed to the problem.

  • Get a black man on the side. You will enjoy it.

    • No, I will not enjoy hurting my husband by cheating on him.

    • You're already thinking about other men because of your dissatisfaction. You are not far off from doing it.

    • Just thinking about other men is a far cry from actually cheating.

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