Sexual Health
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My Personal Experience With Rape

My personal experience with rape

Let's get this out of the way. I'm a guy, and I've been raped. By a woman. Oh my gosh! So hard to believe. Well here's the thing. It happens. It has happened to me, and it happens to many men. Far more men than it should. So this is gonna be a wall of text with little humour. I'm addressing a serious issue here. So there's no real place for comedy.

So what happened Connor?

So the woman who raped me, she was a single mother (I'm not sure how old she was. Easily over 20) and I'm guessing she was lonely and just wanted a cock to ride. When she couldn't find this she went to a bar. I happened to be at this bar drinking alone just generally processing things from my life as I had a really rough day at work. I left my drink to go to the bathroom. When I came back I finished my drink and started chatting about Newtonian science with the girl sitting next to me. I eventually got to the point I was too drunk to drive home so I just rented a room in the tavern and went up to crash for the night. I went up to my room and a short time later I fell asleep. I'm not entirely sure if I took my dress pants off or not.

Regardless, I woke up some time later because I was hearing a strange noise. I open my eyes and though bleary I saw something I didn't recognize. I went to sit up and I got pushed back down. Because I was still drunk and still half asleep I didn't have the strength to fight back. I have problems with sleep paralysis so it takes me about 15 minutes after waking up to actually be able to utilize motor skills. It wasn't for about 3 minute so until I was awake enough to realize what was going on.

The girl from the bar was having sex with me!

I tried to push her off but I was just... frozen. Probably a mix of sleep paralysis and complete confusion. My head was spinning and I couldn't even begin to process what was happening in front of my face.

Eventually she was done with me and she stood up got dressed and EVEN THANKED ME!!!

I spent the next hour trying to calm my breathing, process what happened, nurse my injured penis, and throw up a couple times. Yes. Injured penis. She wasn't careful at all and multiple lacerations were on the shaft of my penis. I also had multiple bruises on my thighs, chest, and groin. In order to keep me erect she force a cock ring on to me and it was too small. That's what caused the cuts and tears. She didn't even put a condom on me and I went to the sexual health clinic and I was lucky that she didn't give me an STD.

So Jarhead, did she get arrested for this?

Short answer? No. She did not. I went to the police and they basically told me that I'm a man, I can't be raped. At this time I was engaged. I confided in the love of my life about this matter seeking help and some compassion and understanding. She called me a cheat, a liar, and that I was belittling ACTUAL rape victims. She left me. I lost the love of my life because of this ordeal. Honestly this is a wound I never truly healed from. I still struggle with developing relationships with women and maintaining those relationships. I still don't entirely TRUST women to the extent I did. I still don't like being alone in a room with women. This was genuinely scarring for me. As dramatic as it might sound it's true.

It took me a long time to work up the bollocks to write this. I'm just going to ignore the inevitable hate and idoicy this with be subject to.

Anyways guys,

Thanks for reading.

Cheers!

~Jarhead

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Thank you for taking the time and effort to write this up.
    Part of the reason why this kind of rape isn't taken as seriously -- beyond the inherent bias in society overall -- is because there are so few survivor stories out there, even anonymous ones. So, every story helps, in that way.

    There are shitty people out there of all kinds. Shitty men, shitty women, shitty people of all colors and sizes and religions and everything.
    I hope you can eventually look past this incident, to realize that there are plenty of non-shitty women out there, too -- including plenty who are kind-hearted, patient, and who would have as much empathy as necessary to work toward *healthy* sexual intimacy with you.

    Keep yr head up.
    <3

Most Helpful Guy

  • "I went to the police and they basically told me that I'm a man, I can't be raped."

    Right, current law specifies that only a "penetrator" can be a rapist. As she did not "penetrate" you, it wasn't rape. This law needs to be adjusted to something like "person on top" or something similar.

    I imagine it'd be hard for a woman to rape a man by rolling him on top of her.

    Sorry that happened to you, man. Society is bullshit. Women are weak and defenseless, and men are the predators. If you believe in the patriarchy as a social construct, it sounds like it fucks over everyone.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I've known a guy that has been assaulted. The person drugged him and with a friend did it to him. I've been similarly drugged and attacked.

    Male or female it is still a crime which should be criminally prosecutable. But unfortunately depending on which country your in it might not be. Though often those countries do allow for civil court cases where you can seek damages for medical bills, counselling, loss of work, etc. It sounds like you need a human rights or civil liberties attorney.

  • Thank you for sharing that. I'm sorry what happened to you.

  • What's also more frightening is how she found you and how she got in the room in the first place. The problem with rape victims once again is the lack of help and sense of justice from the police force.

    • It was a small town. The finding me was easy and how she got in? I probably left the door unlocked or the barkeep gave her a room key. People tend to inherently trust women. Therein lies the problem. I spoke to a lawyer about the whole thing and he basically said "If the girl doesn't outright admit to it the actual likelihood of your word being take over hers is slim at best."

  • I'm sorry this happened to you <3

    • Thank you for the support <3

  • I'm so sorry this happened to you. I've got a friend who was raped in college by a girl who snuck a viagra in his drink, and then got him so drunk he was pretty much a zombie. He was devastated, and the college administration wouldn't touch the case at all. Same thing happened with him with the cops. They actually laughed at him, and told him to "Get the hell out" of their station.

    This should never be the case, and it's so wrong that society is so very ignorant to the point that they are unwilling to see the disaster with their wrongful ways.

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