My wife's vagina is ugly?

[Anonymous]

I have been married for little over a year now. Everything been good with married life, we are open to each other so we don't have any walls between us. If there's anything bothéring either one of us we talk it through, so I told her that I don't find her labias nice looking I tried to be senaative about it, she said she was also insecure about it. Q): So now I'm wondering should I suggest to her to get laser surgery for the labia they look like "roast beef " slices now. But the thing is we have been saving for a car since we don't own one and its badly needed but at the se time our sex life is affected.

[billy_young]

Ok, so firstly let's get my personal opinions out of the way. I personally think that when you love someone, you come to love their body. The person and their body do incredible things for you, so over time, the pleasure that comes with the body makes you find the body attractive.
Vaginas are all different. The idea of a 'pretty' or 'ugly' vagina is a purely social construct. Forget what porn, friends and experience has told you and try to enjoy and appreciate your wife's vagina for the wonderful pleasure giving thing that it is.

However, if you genuinely find your wife's vagina ugly to the point where it's causing you problems with your sex life then we have an issue.
The solution depends on whether her labia are making sex physically difficult, or if its just your opinion on how they look that is the issue.
If they are so large that they are causing physical difficulties, then you and your wife should together decide what to do. Surgery is a major thing that will affect your wife forever. It will affect her psychologically and it might affect how much pleasure she feels down there. At the end of the day it should be her decision whether or not to get surgery and you should support her whatever she decides.

If it's just that you think she's ugly, basically you need to get over it. There's a few things you might want to do.
You might want to watch her pleasure herself. Vaginas can be somewhat odd looking, but when you see them being used so well, they become pretty sexy.
You might want to take some time looking at the website of the commenter below with all the different pictures of different shapes and sizes of labia. That might help you realise that there is a lot of variety and 'ugly' is just something you've been conditioned into thinking.
You might want to spend some time just taking a really good look at your wife's vagina. Get really close, play with it, touch it, stroke it, explore the different parts and really get to know our wife's body. Sometimes just taking a good look and realising that you are looking at your wife can make you feel less turned off.
If it is purely aesthetic then in my opinion surgery should NOT even be considered. Plastic surgery to create the "perfect body" is just a waste of money and an insult. Just appreciate what you've got. Would you ask your wife to get a nose job if she had slightly larger than normal nostrils? I hope not. It's just going to make her feel bad and waste your money. Labia are just the same.

[Asker]

Im appreciative of her but its something extra we want to do

[9mfeo]

No, dude, it's something extra that *you* want to do. Don't get your story twisted. You said that you haven't even mentioned labiaplasty to her.

[Northeast106]

People are VERY sensitive when it comes to their body parts. It explains why women are quick to anger at men for these types of questions, but then wonder in complete amazement why some men can't accept women's penis size preferences. Cosmetic surgery is a very personal decision, and you both should understand the potential risks and complications of the procedure. I can tell you never attacked your wife, and you both are honest, calm and mature enough to talk about a subject like that. Most people really couldn't handle a conversation with that much honesty. I've faced criticism for everything from being skinny, to my nose. It's just people being 100 percent honest with you and letting you know what's on their mind. If anything, I actually trust them more for speaking their true mind, rather than just saying what someone wants to hear and not what they actually think of it deep down. Also, you guys should look at before and after pictures, just to have an idea of what it entails. Good luck to the both of you.

[Asker]

After looking at the side effects it might not be wise to do the procedure because of the lack of sensitivity and the less sex satisfaction for her I'm not a selfish person to pr ssure her into doing it. We also haven't got a car so that is a priority for now. When you go to plastic surgery clinics they will tell. you its a simple harmless procedure and show us photos of women having it done before and after all BS of course they sugar coat it to the Max

[Northeast106]

They say the same thing for male circumcision, but in the end I'm glad I was circumcised as a baby. I have plenty of sensation down there, the ease of hygiene, and being less susceptible to std's is worth it in my opinion. Male circumcision has more valid medical benefits though, where vaginoplasty is purely cosmetic. It's a personal decision between the both of you, consider all the risks, rewards, and costs then she should make her decision. Best of luck to you guys.

[moistycakes]

I would feel awful if the guy I was dating or married too confronted me about the ugliness of my vagina. If she has issues in terms of pain/rashes or inconvenience with her labia then it's up to her to make the decision, but since she hasn't taken that initiative it says to me she does not have any physical problems with them. The labiaplasty or removal of the labia is not a super simple operation, it has to be done right and has a pretty long recovery time (clearly not as long as some) but it's not a walk in get it done and go back to every day life kind of procedure. I think if she was truly unhappy with them she would have got the procedure before now. If it's just for your aesthetic pleasure then I think it's quite shallow. I would never ask a male to remove his foreskin because I didn't like the look of it (which is the same scenario in reverse). I get changing your nail polish colour for your partner, but removing something that is there naturally so it looks nicer for you? Different story. You come to love your partners body as it is naturally when you love them. I don't think you should pressure her AT ALL because that's a decision she should make without the pressure or suggesting of her husband. My confidence and feeling of sex appeal would be severely damaged after hearing that. I wouldn't want my partner to see or touch my vagina because I would be too ashamed.

[Asker]

My biggest concern is the desensitisation of the labia I guess I will have to cancel the plans plus we need a car anyways

[moistycakes]

Yeah, that's something I forgot to mention. A friend of mine got a labiaplasty about two years ago and her sensation is greatly reduced to the point of having difficulty orgasming. I think those kinds of operations should only really be done if there's physical negative side effects. Car trumps large labia any day to me.

[bomba78]

If her Labia are too big/long/whatever and it is actually a physical problem to have sex, go to her Gyno and ask about procedures and if any could be covered by health insurance. I don't know where you are from, but at least in my country, insurance covers the costs after a certain degree of impediment...

[Asker]

its only for aesthetic reasons but to a lesser degree it gets in the way

[bomba78]

I see, well in that case that is a decision you have to take together. You say a car is much needed, but it really depends on how much this is affecting her psycologically. You having an issue with it, really doesn't help either with her insecurities. I'd see the relationship as a priority, if there is any way of delaying the car. But like I said, that depends on what you so dearly need the car for...

[itsallover]

Why the hell did that woman agree to marry you? If the size of her labia matters so much to you to the point where you want her to get surgery for your aesthetic satisfaction, then think - do you truly love her?

[detlef]

Agreed.

[heather4N0w]

Well im sure he knew about your VJJ before they got married so im pretty sure he loves her if he married her with her VJJ... His not changing the colour of her eyes... His simply making a suggestion and she seems to want it to so let them its her choice too...

[itsallover]

@heather4N0w If you make someone feel ugly for something that they were born with then no, you don't TRULY love them. Love is when you can accept all your partner's physical imperfections simply because you love them for who they are. As @BellePepper said, she most probably only wants it because he wants it and is making her feel undesirable because of it. How would you feel if your SO made you feel unattractive for something you can't change, even though they're supposed to love you unconditionally?

[Asker]

Im not trying to make my wife feel ugly hence why Im considering the surgery for her it will boost her self esteem i

[itsallover]

Asker, you are. Telling her that she needs surgery to artificially make herself more attractive in YOUR eyes is you implying that her vulva is not attractive to you the way it is. You're telling her you'll only find it attractive once she has surgery. Surgery won't do shit for her self-esteem. You telling her that you love her despite all her 'imperfections' will. That way you don't have to compromise on that car for her to unnecessarily have her labia sliced off.

[9mfeo]

Not to mention that a labiaplasty is not a simple procedure.

[itsallover]

@9mfeo Yep, there's a lot of complex innervation down there.

[9mfeo]

I was just reading an article about labiaplasty and they're botched more often than they're successful because cosmetic gynaecology is not a real field. So women get chronic yeast infections, bleeding, loss of sensation, etc.

[itsallover]

@9mfeo Just shows you how labia are actually there for good reason, they're protective and provide sexual sensation. Scarily the amount of women having this procedure has soared. Most of those surgeons only care about their patients pockets so they most likely don't even care about the risks :/

[9mfeo]

It frightens me, truly.

[heather4N0w]

hmmm Well its good that you both agree on the matter. What is going to keep you two together.. a better VJJ or a car. Id say if it bothers both of you then it will be better to get the OP.

[Asker]

the final decision is hers

[heather4N0w]

I think some of these woman might just have a stick up the ass ignore them... Look at the end of the day it is your wife's choice and not yours however talking about what bothers you is good but you can't force her to make a decision based on your opinion.

[BellePepper]

He said he hasn't even told her that he wants her to get the surgery so how can they be in agreement

[Asker]

I have been blocked by some of these girls now guess they couldn`t handle the logic, they see it as male oppression on some girl when in fact its my wifes decision in the end. The labias are not a deal breaker for me but my intentions are since we want to be as happily as possible both of us would go the extra mile to make it each other happy

[heather4N0w]

I think the way you put it was a insult to her and most ladies out there so maybe next time you need to make it sound less like you don't like it and more like she doesn't like it...

[BellePepper]

Or he could, you know, keep telling the truth.

[9mfeo]

Yes, being told by your husband that your vagina looks like roast beef wouldn't give anyone an inferiority complex. Everyone can take that in stride. Trust me, dude, she's only saying it because he did, and he's only saying it because of his porn addiction.

[SITdown]

I think you should save up for the car so you can GO AWAY to find someone you really want to look at like someone with a penis.

[Asker]

very mature _

[BellePepper]

The only ugly thing here is the lack of regard you hold for your wife. I hope she divorces you.

[Asker]

but she feels the same way for her labias and if she doesn't like something about me I tell her say that we are open

[BellePepper]

She probably feels that way because YOU, the one person in the entire world who is supposed to love and accept her, tells her she's ugly. That attitude is making you be a horrible husband.

[heather4N0w]

Belle I think your blowing this out of the water... His not saying she's ugly his saying it bother the both of them. His willing to give up a car so that she can be happy so if anything id love to marry a guy like that!

[heather4N0w]

And his not saying his going to leave her hell he married her already!!!

[Asker]

look you misunderstood me both of us have a policy if anything is not pleasing we tell it straight be it physical or personality wise its not a one sided thing me being dominant and an A-hole we agreed on this prior to our weeding because we knew so many couples failed because of miss communication an example you are showing her Bellepepper. Im going to bring this up to her put in NO way am I forcing her pressurising her she knows Im OK with her decisions.

[Red_Arrow]

@heather4N0w - He did not need to give up a car to make her happy. He just needed to let her know that he did NOT find her genitals "ugly"! We all have things that can be considered imperfections. And yes, if we have the money we can change them if we desire. But to consider part of her "ugly" will definitely taint her self image greatly. Her view of herself has been damaged by his intolerance.

[BellePepper]

@heather4N0w If you don't expect total acceptance for your natural vagina that functions perfectly and is perfect in every other way then I feel very sad for you and hope you get to a better point in your life where you can. This man is her husband. He agreed to love every part of her. To tell her that something as intimate as her vagina is ugly was WRONG of him. And then to even suggest that she should go through with a painful and dangerous surgery while continuing without a car is beyond acceptable. That is what is making him a bad husband and that is why his wife should leave him. Preferably for someone who actually appreciates her.

[BellePepper]

Oh I understand you perfectly OP. You're putting your own selfish, porn tainted preferences above your wife's physical, mental, and emotional well being.

[heather4N0w]

@Red_Arrow I agree that saying there Labia looks like Roast Beef is not the right words and he should be more careful with what words he uses but if she says she wants the surgery then no one should stop her. If she wants fake boobs or wants to be a man then why not let her. He will support her once again they are married and its not a boyfriend so im sure they can work it out

[Red_Arrow]

@heather4N0w - As I said, if we have the money we can change things "if we desire". So if she wanted it on her own, then fine. But basically he has shamed her into this. "So now I'm wondering should I suggest to her to get laser surgery for the labia they look like "roast beef " slices now." HIS "suggestion" to "correct" her "roast beef slices".

[heather4N0w]

@Red_Arrow True and I agree with you completely... I can see why people are getting so offended I know id be hurt if I was his wife and had to see this... but then again we don't know how close they are and what her opinion is on it because we are only seeing one side of the story. If I had to talk to her and she said she wanted the surgery then I say why not but if she says no she only wants it bc of her husband id tell her to by a car...

[Red_Arrow]

@heather4N0w At this point, she would say SHE wants it because he has already shamed her. For instance, if he grew up with a penis that was slightly below average size, and had a slight twist to one side, he would probably grow up thinking "I wish it was longer and thicker, and did not twist to the side." Then the girl of his dreams says "I would really prefer it to be longer. And that twist is ugly to me." So he then decides that HE wants it and would be willing to forgo a necessary car just because he believes that HE suddenly desires surgery to fix what is actually not broken and he would be fine with if not shamed by his wife.

[gray_sailor]

Odd that you find large labia to be "flaws".

I'm of the opinion that they are quite attractive.

Labiapasty is right up there with breast reduction surgery as a way of preying on women's insecurities for a handsome profit.

Also, the middle school boy's locker room in your town just called... they want their funny "roast beef vagina" joke back.

[Asker]

to each their own

[DivaMonae]

Someone's been watching too much porn...

[Asker]

I beg your pardon

[DivaMonae]

What I mean is vaginas are ugly it's as simple as that. They come in different shapes and sizes and no one is like the other kind of like snowflakes.

My point is you have this image of what a nice vagina looks like from watching porn when really those girls have had surgery or were just blessed with what we call attractive ones but that's why they're porn stars. Realistically vaginas don't look like that and you should look past it. You've made it this far haven't you? Aren't there more important things about her things that you actually do love rather than dislike?

This link will show images of all sorts and kinds of vaginas the images are very vivid so I warn you ahead of time and hopefully you as well as your wife will get over it and spend your money on something that's more important.

Make sure you go through all the pages and not just the first one:
www.the-clitoris.com/v_image1#.VH4vfUdOKK1

[Asker]

I didn't open the link but her labias are really big so I think it warrants medical attention

[DivaMonae]

... -_-

[DivaMonae]

Dude you can't say "I like every inch of her body" and want her to get surgery on it. If you liked every inch her body we wouldn't be having this discussion in the first place.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I would never, ever condone this. Surgery over something as trivial as a labia? I would hope love would trump something so aesthetically minor. I personally would be perfectly willing to accept flaws in my partner and would never ask them to change it unless THEY said they wanted to.

[Mistnigqa808]

So how long have (had) you been fuckin this bitch while seeing her so called "ugly" coochie? And if you didn't like it back then why did you marry (married) her now? Imma mark this 1 off as a troll question i1127.photobucket.com/.../oh-well-o.gif

[Asker]

dude we were both virgins when we got married

[Mistnigqa808]

So what does that mean? I mean you should have at least seen her ass + titties before marriage or so you'd think, right? LOL somethings up here man ^_^

[Asker]

I understand what you getting at we saw ourselves without clothes first in the weeding night

[Mistnigqa808]

Yeah you know what for a change... my black ass is not going to give this BS the time of day LOL

[Asker]

That's religious folk for you

[Mistnigqa808]

I'm atheist man so yeah...

[XNicholeMariex3]

WELL I'LL BE DAMNED!
YOU WERE THE SPERM THAT WON?
OH MY GOD THERE ARE SO MANY OF YOU.
PLEASE, WILL YOU MORONS STOP REPRODUCING?
I think the surgery you need to pay for is your fucking vasectomy.

[heather4N0w]

Why are you getting so worked up? He clearly says that his wife doesn't like her VJJ either! His not going to leave he because of it... Its like having a mole that both partners don't like and so his making her happy which is making him happy which means better marriage...

[XNicholeMariex3]

@heather4N0w No. There are tons of females who are always not going to like something about themselves... but should they just go get surgery to fix all their insecurities? No. They will never be happy with themselves. They will only become more insecure. She is more than likely insecure about herself because he made it known that he doesn't like the way she looks down there. Don't even start with me, you'll get no where. Goodbye.

[Asker]

If I was an A-hole I would have left her after making the discovery but the fact Im letting her have the final decision Im being considerate and the majority of the money for the near pain less surgery is coming from me and also its one of her insecurities and Im giving her a huge boost of self esteem if She goes through this

[XNicholeMariex3]

Yeah right. You're making her feel worse. You just copied what heather said. Go fly a kite.

[Mustachekitteh]

Did you straight up tell you wife that?

If she said yes and want's to do it for her own sake. I would postpone the surgery and get the car. Car is more important than how her vagina looks.

[Asker]

No I was planning to but I now cancelled the plan since it causes desentisition of the labia

[Mustachekitteh]

Ah kk Do you think you could get over how it looks?

[Asker]

It's not that distracting tbh but I just wanted it done for added aesthetics, like someone with C cups going for E cups a C cup isn't a bad size but the added effect is what I want

[Mustachekitteh]

Ah kk but if doing that causes you to lose something important aka the sensitivity then it's not even worth it.

[9mfeo]

If she has to get a labiaplasty, you should get your testicles removed. Better aesthetics, you see. No sense in her looking fabulous and your genitalia looking ugly.

[Asker]

she never complained about my balls sunshine

[9mfeo]

Don't you see how ridiculous it is though? And like many people have said, labiaplasty is not a trivial procedure. Loss of sensation, chronic yeast infection, UTIs, possible paralysis, etc. To top it off, it's not a regulated procedure so it's botched more often than it is successful. Buy the fucking car and stfu.

[Asker]

"stfu."wow how rude I have decided against the surgery

[9mfeo]

Because you own her, right? She has to do what you tell her? Gross.

[Asker]

are you for real? I was going to bring it up not forcing her bye

[mutedaisy]

She won't be able to have sex for an extended period of time and may lose sensitivity in that region of her body. She also won't be able to move much or walk for a bit. If you are fine with causing your wife so much emotional and physical pain for looks... You're not a man.

[vptwarrior]

I'm not even sure how to respond to this um... hmmm. In terms of surgical imperfections, if its just like hanging there like that, okay i see it. But other imperfections just leave.

[boywithpinkhair]

Is your penis a massive, perfect, marble shaft of glory? If not, then you probably shouldn't be so concerned about the labia. If it's really ugly and your wife also wants to get it fixed, then I guess you'll have to wait on the car, but I personally think that fixing something that isn't broken is ridiculous. Genitals differ from person to person. But, it sounds like you've gone about this in the nicest way possible, so if your wife is on board surgery might not be a terrible idea.

[Asker]

we would have to do with public transport for now

[NerdInDenial]

How much is it really affecting your love life? I would recommend getting the car first.

[MissIndependent111]

Many people are not fair here. If the surgery will help, then she should go with it. If she is not satisfying you then it's not really fair.

[Asker]

I decided against surgery since it desensitise the labia

[ShaeNielson]

What if she told you she thinks your cock is ugly? I can't even get over what a shitty husband you are.

[Iron_Man]

Well your honest anyway and I can see your point. That would be a problem for me as well. I can't tell you to go for it I dont want to be blamed for trouble

[Asker]

You can't tell me but your suggestion would help

[Iron_Man]

Ok then. I am a big fan of women down there and I like to taste the honey so yeah you might want her to get it, but just dont go by what I have to say Sleep on it for a while and you both decide together

[Asker]

thanks man I know its hard to break for someone the thing is I love her and since we are together for the rest of our lives we should be as pleasing to each other as possible

[Iron_Man]

No problem my friend. Yes whatever works for you guys. Its a team decision good luck

[zagor]

ALL vagina's are ugly. Just close your eyes when you're down there.

[Am1625]

It doesn't matters much surgery is a risky thingh so use cosmetics creams and some natural massage and things to make it good

[Georgenapil]

Surgery first then car.
Sex is the most important thing

[RichardTheFrog]

That sucks...

[Asker]

It's harsh

[RichardTheFrog]

I was with a girl a few days ago whose vagina was ugly... I couldn't be with her long term...

[winniegc]

I think you should grow up! When you marry a woman you marry her flaws and all (even though that is perfectly natural). Stop being a douche

[Anonymous]

You should just get the car... cause you don't deserve her

[Anonymous]

I think you should get a divorce. Your wife deserves better.

[Asker]

we both are in agreement over her labias

[Anonymous]

That's what you get by having sex too much?

[BellePepper]

How are you an adult and think that? Please go educate yourself.

[Opinion Owner]

@BellePepper lol

[Asker]

we married both as virgins dude chill

[Opinion Owner]

:p hha

[Anonymous]

Maybe grow up and stop asking fake questions because no one is that much of an a hole. Of course these days you never know. If this happens to be true you already damaged things so whatever.

[detlef]

I hope this anonymous guy is right. There's a disturbing ring of truth to the car part of OP's story. It's so preposterous.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm amazed at the guys answers. Well I'm amazed at all of them except for the metal guy. That is to be expected from him.

[Asker]

you might be seeing different women all the time Im with one person for the rest of my life so we as a couple can demand of each other more

[Opinion Owner]

Why marry if you are that immature?

[Anonymous]

This is just pathetic...

[Asker]

How so?

[Anonymous]

I think your first priority should be the car, no?

[Asker]

Problem with the car it comes with its own running costs and so it makes saving up harder for the surgery

[Opinion Owner]

Well think of it this way, unless she is going to be using her V to make some money, I think the wisest choice would be to get a vehicle.

[9mfeo]

Lmfao!!!