Never had a boyfriend, but I'm not a virgin. Is that bad?

[Anonymous]

Basically my teen life I've been ignored by guys, even now I'm pretty invisible to them. They've always gone for my best friends or other girls. Then when I left school at 16, suddenly I began getting attention from this one guy one of my brothers best friends. I was so insecure that my insecurities made me incredibly naive and I thought this guy actually cared about me. Also because had attention before, it was all new and exciting and I thought things would work. I made the decision to lose my virginity to him and of course things didn't work out and my first time was terrible. Painful, cold and I felt like I'd let myself down because I'd always said I would lose it to a someone I was in a relationship with, someone who I cared about. After that I went on a bit of a sex bender, where I would have sex or do things with guys just because they were giving me attention. Luckily, I managed to get myself out of that situation and pretty quickly. The sex was never fun or pleasurable and I always felt even worse about myself after. I've grown up quite a bit now, even though I'm only 18, I'm not as insecure and am definitely in a happier place. But I'm worried that if I meet someone and everything goes great, that when he does become my boyfriend he'll be turned off by the fact that I lost my virginity but he's my first boyfriend. I'm not religious in anyway and I know a lot of people lose their virginity in similar situations, but this really seems to be eating away at me. What would you think if you found out the girl you liked has had sex but has never had a boyfriend? How would it make you feel?

[Anonymous]

Interesting case, similar to the one I faced with my girlfriend. Firstly, when you date someone, be brave enough to tell him that you are not a virgin. When my girlfriend told me that, it tore at my heart and actually made me a little depro. However, I appreciate the fact that she was honest enough to tell me before. It took a lot of time, crying, writing out feelings and the like, but time does make you heal. 2 and a half years later and we are still going strong. Sure, some days those thoughts about her not being a virgin just pop into my mind and make me very sad, but then all I do is remember that we have made it through two and a half years and that in itself is testament that even with a past, love is possible.

Be honest but remember that you are a valuable individual :) Mistakes are made so you can learn from them.

[And-Once-I-Was-Human]

i don't think you even need to tell him he's your first boyfriend. it wouldn't bother me personally if I found out, but I don't think it's something you have to bother bringing up if you get in that situation.

[katiesmuff]

No it is not a bad thing. Many others also have ONS etc without ever having true bf's.

[bDizzie]

I could not care less

[dudeman]

i don't think I could date thegirl