New girlfriend, who is a virgin, asks to tie you up to get used to your d*** without pressure of anything happ

Anonymous

How would you feel about her asking? would you let her but feel uncomfortable? would you let her and like the idea? would you say no? would you want to set doewn rules? how would you react?

Updates:

+1 y

lol yea she just wants to gently explore stuff.. like guys when they are excited,tend to get overzealous, & can get a bit rough by accident, or go too far too quick unintentionally. So she wants a chunk of time ,where she can just explore his body, expect nothing to happen, no surprises, just time to focus & get used to his body without pressure .. its not to break out whip or chain or butt pegs ;)

+1 y

NOT INTO S & M.

+1 y

Also she not a stranger you guys know each other, you have just not been a couple till now.. but you have been physical &you have known / liked each other for few years.

+1 y

I was not expecting this to be such a complicated Q. Either you are OK letting her get comfortable or your not. If I was a guy id do it. If I did not trust him to not stick a knife in m, I would not be dating him anyways. Girls have to put trust in guys any time they are physical with them. That's TRUST.

0 0

Most Helpful Guys

Anonymous
+1 y
Hang on a moment ... but I wonder if I've understood you (and the answerers) right here.

There seem to be two issues here... and both are getting mixed up.

Firstly, some people (guys included) like to play bondage and power games in the bedroom. It doesn't really matter who dominates! I too enjoy my partner dominating me (or the other way around), and this DOES seem a hot scenario.

On the other hand -- and this surprises me -- you seem to be harbouring fears of the male penis. So you want it (and its owner) "tied up" like some wild animal! I don't many guys (any guy?) is going to let you emasculate him thus, just because you don't trust a part of his body. That too irrationally!

Keep in mind: the male ego can be verrrry fragile. Specially in the bedroom.

I think you need to get over (if I'm assuming right) your fears of the male penis. It doesn't bite. It's not a serpant with poison fangs :-) If you're still afraid of the idea of it entering you, probably you're just not ready for sex. You shouldn't rush yourself. It will happen in time.

Finally, I would welcome being tied up in some kind of sex-game. But definitely not a first date (it would freak me out, and make me wonder what kind of freaky partner this is). Definitely after some period of acclimatisation. But again, definitely not because someone is afraid of part of my body!

Hope I understood this right...
0 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  not bondage . not fear. I explained my reasoning, I don't know if you read it or not. its just having some time to explore him without him interfering. he has a tendency to get really into it, and then I'm too caught up in what he's doing to touch him. also I don't want to be touched always - he DOES. I'm getting touched more than I want ,and it gets in the way of me touching him, which he wants. so I was trying to find a solution, to that. where I can get used to touching him, and his penis gets attention.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Strange reasoning. I think it would make me wonder... WHY? If you want something, can't you just ask? Say, less touching... or whatever? To tie up someone, is a treatment we usually reserve for dogs.
- Asker
  +1 y
  its different.. its just different. a guy agreeing to not touch you, is one thing but knowing you have like 20 minutes to just do w/e.. its a turn on, & its more relaxing. and by tie up I mean his wrists not his neck
- Show All Show Less
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  What is w/e? Okay this makes more sense. Why not just explain it to him, make sure he understands? And PLEASE, not on the first time... I think the human male has certain evolutionary needs (gained over millenia), which he needs to play out and feel safe with. One is being powerful in the bedroom!
- Asker
  +1 y
  You are raise feeling power as essential-i agree - it is essential FOR everyone. everyone wants to feel in control. if he can understand his need for control, then he should understand mine. all I'm doing s leveling things so I'm comfortable. he has an upper hand by being stronger & ore experienced. I want space where I feel enough control that I can be active. tis is not forever. just il I get used to touching him, & we've been together, I explained in my update we've known each other or years.
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  If you explain it in those terms, and can make a game of it, fine... but otherwise it might come across as either insecure or wierd, and nobody likes that...
- Asker
  +1 y
  @If you explain it in those terms, and can make a game of it, fine... but otherwise it might come across as either insecure or wierd, and nobody likes that... you sound really narrow mined. anyways if you know someone & trust them, you shouldn't have to judge them. if a guy was worried about me being weird or insecure I wouldn't be getting intimate with I'm in the first place. control isn't a game. why does it have to be a game. you understand wanting control, but for a woman it has to be a game..
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Even for a male, control is only a game in the 21st century. We can't take it seriously in a relationship... not in the 21st century. Secondly, anything goes in a relationship which is some-time old. But when the relationship is new, sorry, but I can't help looking out for all dangers signals that come my way. Some people (maybe me too) carry a lot of baggage that they need to deal with first.
Anonymous
+1 y
Id set ground rules.. But mostly id also make her promise to let me do it to her after me..

Id let her go first so I can see how rough she is and what she dose.. Then id do simular things to her.. But never pass her boundry that she set when I was tied up

If she didn't agree id expect at least something.. Like a video of her naked maybe masterbating.. Or at least her naked when she's touching me..
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  perfect :) good job:)
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Perfect? I want to note id have to trust her alot.. Especially if she wasn't naked with me befor she tied me down.. This is a trust thing.. And I know a few girls who I wouldn't trust.. And some I would.. Dosent mean they wouldn't act the same way.. Its just I don't trust them or they did something to break it.. Or in one case.. I can't predict her personality at all
- Asker
  +1 y
  yea no I just liked how you found a way to kind of equalize it:) now why doe it help you if she is naked with you first?
- Show All Show Less
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Its trust.. How can I trust her tied up if she wount show some skin.. If she's dressed she could just walk out the door and, leave me there tied up naked.. But uf she's naked at least ill have a little warning befor she can just walk out
- Asker
  +1 y
  ok makes sense . and what if your dressed?
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  If I'm dressed? If I was dressed while she was tieing me down.. Id be really confused.. If she still wanted to play with my pienis id expect some boob.. Or full underwear Again id still expect her to let me do the same thing to her after she did it to me
- Asker
  +1 y
  rigt but you could bpoth be 'partially dressed' not full on naked. ok this- would you be more comfortableA) if you were BOTH naked? or B) both partially dressed. I get the w/e it is it should be both of you .. but which would make you more comfortable. A )you would have her more vulnerable but you would be too. B) you are both less exposed. do you think you would trust more -based on how UNexposed you r, or how exposed someone else is?
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Id think full naked both of us I admit being partially naked might be more sexy.. But trust wise fully naked.. After I trust her a little more ya partial is sexier.. So she can pull them off of me.. But if I don't trust her I might think she would take pictures or invite friends over to play.. And its embarrising to have my pants around my knees.. But if I was fully naked then at least I could act cool like I expected it.. Instead of being caught with my pants well... You get now I hope
- Asker
  +1 y
  yes I guess I understand ;)

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 13

Pont0035 Xper 4
+1 y
Pretty weird! Your better off just getting really drunk and letting it happen naturally.
0 0 1 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  m not asking fir advice you twit. I'm asking for your opinion about yourself.
- Pont0035
  +1 y
  twit... nice! Answer: No it's frickin weird and you will be lucky if he doesn't laugh in your face
- Asker
  +1 y
  ok so you have no thoughts of your own. thanks anyways. baby.
kawa450 Xper 6
+1 y
Get used to my d***? What do you mean like look at it and play with it or oral sex or what are you talking about?
2 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  all of the above. get used to it. if she has never seen or touched one& does not want you touching her or going too fast while she is exploring it. why are you being so melo-dramaric. its a hypothetical question about asking a question. chill.
- kawa450
  +1 y
  Im not being anything I didn't completely understand what you were asking. Now that I understand, that would be fine with me. Well except the being tied down part. I would let her "explore" all she wants but there is no need to tie me down. All you gotta do is ask me not to touch you. Besides I can't show you how to do things if my hands are tied
- Asker
  +1 y
  @All you gotta do is ask me not to touch you. yea that's fine too. can I actually do that tho? not touch her even if you are really aroused?
- Show All Show Less
- kawa450
  +1 y
  Ya just watching her examine me would be a major turn on. I might grab her hand and show her how to stroke it or my "spot" or if she hurt me I would show her how to do it so it doesn't hurt. I would not force her to do it though and would not pressure her into giving me a hand job or anything. I would just show her you know
- Asker
  +1 y
  hmm.. yea that's good too.. I just think some guys maybe can't 'not touch' lol sorry for calling you melo dramatic.. you are rather reasonable:)
- kawa450
  +1 y
  Haha its OK. If I felt the urge to touch I could just let you finish your exploration then go masturbate.
- Asker
  +1 y
  ;-)
- hayfa
  +1 y
  i agree. you seem reasonable
- kawa450
  +1 y
  Haha thank you
- Asker
  +1 y
  ;-) ;-)
moaterboat Yoda
+1 y
I would consider that a sign that she didn't trust me, which could very well be a deal breaker for me.
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  thank you for answering clearly and calmly:)
AltTech Xper 4
+1 y
Well, I don't like not having control over what is happening, so this would be a giant leap of faith to ask of me. I would understand her position, but I would really have to trust her to let it happen.
2 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  A girl is in that situation, any time she has sex with a guy who is bigger and stronger than her- huge leap of faith. requires tons of trust.
- AltTech
  +1 y
  While I do agree with that, a woman who is not tied up can still fight back and attempt to stop something she doesn't like though. If I was tied up, I'd be completely at her mercy for whatever she wanted to do.
- Asker
  +1 y
  true.. thanks for answer ing elaborately:)
WoIIie Guru
+1 y
Tie me up!
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  ;-) lol
- WoIIie
  +1 y
  Oh it's funny huh? You think that's funny!? I'd tie YOU up and see how much you're laughing in about 10 minutes. That'll be REAL funny!
- WoIIie
  +1 y
  Oh shut up already. You're weird and this tying up thing is uncalled for because its ridiculous. Get over it.
- Show All Show Less
- WoIIie
  +1 y
  Nobody is tieing me up with a legit purpose. I don't care.
- Asker
  +1 y
  stop being a baby. you don't want it don't do it why are you having a tantrum.
G-Daz Guru
+1 y
Well honestly I would feel good if I knew she trusted me enough not to rush her into things and make it comfertable but If that deffinitly isn't an option yeah I guess... she could tie me up and do what she likes

But given the choice I think id mostly like to be the one to dominate her, being tied up isn't something I experienced so can't really comment but I would accept it if that's what she wanted.
1 0 1 0
- hayfa
  +1 y
  that's really nice of you :) I'm glad you would be happy to accept that
- G-Daz
  +1 y
  :P
- Asker
  +1 y
  wel that's the point, guys are always assuming they are supposed to control sex & it makes me uncomfortable. given the choice id have it be mutual. that's why I want to get things started off differently. so we both get used to me being in control sometimes... I don't feel comfortable doing anything right now mostly because I'm not used to it. the first part of your answer, I understand, & I agree with. thanks.
- Show All Show Less
- G-Daz
  +1 y
  Well it isn't really an assumption that as a guy I feel I would have to control sex, its also part of the turn on but I can see where you're coming from. It just seems a little odd you saying this which I guess can be forgivin since you haven't had it but generally girls prefer to be "dominated" but vice versa woudl prob be fun too :D
- Asker
  +1 y
  @It just seems a little odd you saying this which I guess can be forgivin since you haven't had -generally girls prefer to be "dominated" that is absolutely an assumption. you may not personally be comfortable with sex being mutual but plenty of people are. it is not 'odd' you just are not into it. so do not say you understand what I mean, & don't blame it on my being a virgin-& I know what kind of power -dynamic I'm comfortable with.my Q was not about dominating people- you are adding that yourself.
Habakkuk Xper 4
+1 y
yeah, that would be pretty weird, not gonna lie
0 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  Ok I understand you think its weird, and a penis is very weird for someone who is not used to it. They look strange. And worrying about things going too far. or having things shoved inside of you- by accident.. is 'weird' . Why is it weird to you to be tied up. Do you know why?
- Habakkuk
  +1 y
  ok, lemme put it this way, I'd never let a girl do that, that's not normal
- Asker
  +1 y
  people do it all the time. its normal but you wouldn't want it. that's fine. you can just say 'no'.
iXenomorph Xper 3
+1 y
Oh yes. Tie me up, blindfold me, and start sticking needles into me.

F*** yeah.
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  sorry no. not into that :)
- iXenomorph
  +1 y
  :(
- Asker
  +1 y
  :)
Caustic_Fox Xper 2
+1 y
that would be the end of the relationship
0 0 1 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  fair enough -why?
- Caustic_Fox
  +1 y
  cause that sounds insane
- Asker
  +1 y
  because..?
SnackG Xper 3
+1 y
If we've been dating awhile I would. Otherwise I would find that a little shady. I would also find that really hot.
1 0 0 0
- SnackG
  +1 y
  The only rule would be no pain.
- Asker
  +1 y
  of course, I'm not into pain. well if you looked at the updates that should answer your Q, thanks for answering.
- SnackG
  +1 y
  I'd be so down then. That's basically my only fantasy is to be dominated by a girl.
- Show All Show Less
- Asker
  +1 y
  ;-) ;-)
- SnackG
  +1 y
  hahaha That would be a fun first time too.
aaronante Xper 6
+1 y
weird..but I would enjoy
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  of course, I'm not into pain. well if you looked at the updates that should answer your Q, thanks for answering.
cyrus7 Xper 4
+1 y
I would never let a girl tie me up, EVER

unless we've been together for a long time
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  ok thank you.
Anonymous
+1 y
BRO if she what to tie you up so that she can get used to you your d*** because she is a virgin then go for it just set down some grand rules be for you let her do that. It sound real hot and would let my do that if she was a virgin because you do know what she up to right she what to have s** with you.
2 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  didnt I already give you a smile lol don't see it anywhere.. ;-)
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Well you do now do bro :)
- Asker
  +1 y
  lol ;-) ;-)
Anonymous
+1 y
That sounds really hot, go for it!
1 0 0 0
- Asker
  +1 y
  just wondering how people would feel.. some of these guys answers.. really surprise me, kind of overemotional.. thanks for answering ;)
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  No problem, I think it would be cool to be able to tie my guy up & explore his body, being able to do what I want to him, & not have the pressure of him rushing me. I'm a virgin too, & I want to take my time & enjoy myself. Plus, it kind of turns me on thinking of a big strong man tied down & completely under my control. I could touch him where I want, & just enjoy his body. I don't think the guys above understand your question or intentions, don't let them get you down, I get you girl :)
- Asker
  +1 y
  wow you totally do! that's exactly it.. thanks that helped ';-)