Ok I'm good enough for sex, but not a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I have no problem talking to guys. We all hang out and have a great time. All the guys I talk to seem interested in me. After a while we have sex and its all good. But that's it. Are they just afraid to have a relationship or is it just me? I'm just so confused I mean they must like me enough to sleep with me right?

[dave216]

Your being so female :) In your thinking I mean. You are seeking a relationship, why? Have you been taught that is what you are supposed to want? Well boys are not taught that. They want to have a good time with their friends, drink some beer, play a little basket ball and have sex occasionally. They have no desire for a relationship. Girls don't seem to understand that. What girls generally do is manipulate the chosen male into a relationship by offering sex or withholding sex until they get certain promises. You are not exercising your option of requiring something in return for sex. I know, it sounds like prostitution, and in a sense I guess it is. You hold out what they want until you see signs of getting what you want. It is the game that is played. :)

[Asker]

typical female? shouldn't it make a guy feel good about him self about being wanted by a girl. I could date anybody I wanted to but I want him out of everybody I choose him. I would feel good if it was me, but that's just female thinking. I love to sit back back have a beer hang out have sex occasionally so does he we do it together. so its been going on for a while I've developed feelings. I mean sorry if I would want a relationship after this but I guess that's how we females think.

[dave216]

Yes it should, and probably one day it will. I know I look back to when I was that age and how bad I was to a couple of girls that were very nice to me. I often wonder if they ever found the love they deserved from me. I was too immature to be thinking in the same way they were. You sound like a great female, and I think one day soon you will find a guy mature enough to appreciate you :) My point to was to explain how the guys are thinking, so you can use the information to get what you want. :)

[Asker]

thanks :)

[toulouse]

Girls generally do is manipulate the chosen male to a relationship by offering sex or withholding sex until they get certain promises. NO ONE can manipulate anyone into something. That easy for the typical girl to trick the typical guy who only wants 'beer basketball & occasional sex' I guess the typical guy really WANTS a relationship. Either the guy is a *girl*-or he's *weaker* than the girl who tricks him, She doesn't represent ALL women. Why can't You answer her Q to HER-is it very hard?

[dave216]

Toul, are you stoned? I can barely comprehend what you wrote. On second thought, what you wrote is incomprehensible gibberish. If you have a different thought for her question, perhaps you could answer it for her. I don't really get anything from your comment, sorry.

[Powerhousegirl]

Most helpful guy? Brutal! What grade 5 morals and understanding, not to mention sexist and completely devoid of understanding. Good luck to you!

[Powerhousegirl]

@toulouse ok I've NEVER been able to manipulate a guy into doing anything. Down deep guy's want an emotional connection just as much as girls. It just has to be the right timing for them. Be honest and say this instead of just blaming women for being manipulative. Maybe you're just easy to manipulate, in which case have the same standards you are preaching to us!!! Fuck sake.

[The-Romanian]

That's all they like you enough for. As much as you may not to hear that.

There are three categories.

1.)Relationship only interest.

2.)Sex only interest.

3.)In between interest.

There may be something about your demeanor, character, or personality that shows them you wouldn't be seen in a more serious view. Yeah, it's ignorant. But, that's how us humans are.

How do you carry yourself? What are your physical specs?

[Asker]

I really appreciate your honesty that's what I want. Your right about them only wanting sex, and I think I figured that afterward. Well I'm confident about myself and how I look. Guys tell me they love how I carry myself. I take care of myself and my body. I never thought that maybe that's what guys pick up about me that I'm not serious about having a relationship, but I am. most of them keep coming back why do you think that is?

[The-Romanian]

Hard to say. Maybe they liked the sex, and want a round 2. How much times goes by until some of them come back, though? And maybe you might want to get straight to the point you want a relationship from the get. As that would normally throw some guys off, and you can catch what they are really there for by their reaction.

[Asker]

within the same week. I stay at his place and he comes to mine.

[The-Romanian]

Now, just to be clear with certain things. How many different occurrences has this happened on?

[Asker]

i slept with the same guy twice he seems interested but doesn't say what he wants

[The-Romanian]

Maybe he just wants a casual fling. Ask him about it. You don't have nothing to lose, right?

[Asker]

yea maybe but I don't want that so I will ask. we actually haven't talked in a couple of weeks because I told him I don't want to do this anymore. he got pissed told me F*** off. he called me yesterday to talk so maybe there's a chance we'll see

[The-Romanian]

Well, good luck with it.

[Asker]

yea thanks

[Asailum]

if he told you to f*** off when you mentioned a relationship then ditch that asshole already. That's pretty blunt that he is only with you for sex

[Deeplove55]

Yes, girl. I use to be like you a long time ago and I know exactly why you continue to talk to guys who don't really care about you. You are hopin that they will change there minds, come to there senses and you don't want to be alone and you just enjoy male company so much that you just can't stop. Its like an addiction, a high but it makes no sense to want something so bad yet be doin all the wrong things to get it. If you want different results, you have to change the ingredients, hon.

[Deeplove55]

This will happen when you are finally at that point of being fed up like I was and I tell you when your at your breakin point, that's it. I want a relationhip and I know what needs to be done. So first it starts with a break from everything, the dating, the guys, the sex until you are happy with being with yourself, then you are ready again and put yourself back out there to start over the right way. I can proudly say that its been almost 3 months that I've changed my ways, no sex, no guys and

[Deeplove55]

it feels great because I'm self improving, re-energhizing myself, clearing my head from all those guys and there bullsh*t. Yes it gets lonely sometimes but Girl, you gotta do what you gotta do if you want what you want. Now for me I'm still not ready to go back out there but for you it can be different than mine. I just want you to think about it and know that if you keep doin what you are doin, lettin these jerks come back in your life whenever they want so they can use you again, you will never get

[Deeplove55]

get the meaningfulness you are lookin for. Anything worth it is not suppose to be easy and the person I was 3 months ago is no more and its because I made a decision to stop what I been doin for so long. I felt an emptiness and it was not getting filled when I was with these guys. the moments don't last and I want the full term experience of being with one guy which meant takin off for a while until I can be with myself and content. Then when I meet a guy again, I make him earn my gift instead of

[Deeplove55]

giving it away. To not look for love anymore and let it come to us. So, you can either stay in or get out. your choice but I'm tellin you I didn't think I could do it either because I loved sex and men. However I got tired of bein disappointed and feelin used and nothin was changin. You deserve a relationship. Stop dealin with guys who you just have sex with and don't show much after. all they do is smooth talk us, tell us what we want to hear so they can keep getting it. Now I wonder how many times

[Deeplove55]

you need to go throug that in order for you to sober up?

[Lolo1720]

Men don't attach emotion and sex the way women do. So a man can sleep with you and be enjoying you and like you IN THE MOMENT, but it DOES NOT mean he wants a relationship with you. If you want a relationship, then establish that before you sleep with him. That way he knows your expectations.

[TheCheshireCat]

Sex usually means nothing to men. Just because he is willing to have sex with you, does not mean he thinks anything about you. A guy can hate a girl & still have sex with her. If you want a guy to like you for the right reasons, don't give him sex.

[angie523]

im in the same situation and I wanna be serious but he is being immature... but anyway, have you tried talking to him about a relationship? or like seeing you guys more than just friends

[alexajade30]

try keeping your legs closed until you are dating. if they can't wait for that then move on.

[Asker]

we learn from our mistakes. believe me I have and I am moving on.

[linzurz3]

It's the opposite with me...

[katiesmuff]

If it is a relationship you are looking for it's best to keep the goodie's locked up until you are at least dating and doing things other than sleeping together.

[superwoman]

I know how you feel. just don't do it anymore if you feel like you haven't been treated the way you deserve. if you like it casual then fine, but if you don't and you tell him you don't, and he doesn't respond to it, just leave it, he's not worth it.

[KarKingJack]

Try not sexing them? I know there's girls who I fool around with and stuff but I wouldn't dream of ever going out with them, 'cos they're my friends. So essentially, like... You get 'friends-with-benefits' zoned, hahaha. Try not sexing them but being interested, y'know. Might do the trick?

[juice1]

"after awhile we have sex" depends on how long that while is, if they want to get to know you or just get on you

[Asker]

well like we've known each other since highschool

[Lucky1227]

If you are so easy why would I guy want to date you... at least wait for sex until AFTER yourdating so he can take you seriously

[Asker]

i don't think I was easy if I was fine. I was stupid I shouldn't have gave in but I did and I have to live with it.

[Lucky1227]

Ok well... that's all fine and good but don't do it again

[MakedaBoone]

How about the guy not ask for sex... I personally feel men are Waaay easier then woman.. almost slut shaming worthy..

[Anonymous]

you shouldn't have sex with them untill you're sure there into you and you're into them

its not rocket science...

[Anonymous]

Your actions are girlfriend material in guys eyes. If you want a good man, don't give it up til he shows you he really wants to get to knowe you. Not too many good men left so it will take patience but you do what you need to do to make it. Change

[Anonymous]

no, they don't take you serious because you sleep with them so fast, kind of think of you as a one time use thing.

[Asker]

Well its not like I picked them up on the street or something. I've known them since high school. so in the bottom line its just sex right? right I know that but I would like it to be more than that so how do I approach that?

[Opinion Owner]

if you've done this with several guys already, then you've already soiled your reputation and pretty much nothing can help you.. they all think of you as a slut who puts out and that's all the see in your

[Asker]

well I have not done with how many your thinking that I have. My one friend we slept together afterwords we both decided it was a mistake were still friends. but this other guy we hang out all the time we only had sex twice. we have a great relationship I just want to take it a step further. so I don't consider myself a slut, but if you think this makes me one so be it

[Opinion Owner]

im not calling you a slut, I'm just saying that generally most guys lose respect for a girl if she puts out fast

[Asker]

well I only sleep with him nobody else so I will approach him about being in a relationship. just don't want to say something wrong that will set him off

[Asailum]

this is bullsh*t. How quickly you sleep with someone is irrelevant, its how you enjoy their company.

[Deeplove55]

I wish most thought like that, Asailum but unfortunately we live in an unfair world. We females are made to feel bad about wanting sex whenever we want it, unlike guys and that's why we try to be secretive with it.. And QA, Anynonymous is right. As a woman, society sees you as a slut because of the promiscuity. It doesn't matter whether you know them or not or who it is you are only doin now. You were sleepin with some of your friends and trust me guys talk about it and it gets passed on