Once a slut always a slut...?

If you did slutty things and was a slut long ago but changed your ways would you still be a slut? Like once a slut always a slut or not a slut?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I was actually talking to a girl a few years ago when I was temporarily broken up with my girlfriend. Awesome girl, super-hot, totally up my alley. Nothing came of it because she lived out of state and by the time she moved back I was back with my girlfriend, but that's a different story.

    Anyway, she was from the town I was living in at the time. I worked with a bunch of people who grew up with her, and everyone liked her. One of my buddies at work was like "Yo, she's a great girl, you should totally go for it. Not going to lie to you though, she f*cked a lot of dudes. But that was like 7, 8 years ago." It definitely weighed on my mind, especially because I wondered what "a lot" meant. 15? 50? 100? We went out a couple times during the holiday season because she came home to visit for Thanksgiving and Christmas. They weren't technical "dates" because she still had a boyfriend back in Arizona where she lived, but she was planning to break up with him and move back east, she just didn't want to break it off during the holidays, which she had said before we even hung out. So nothing physical happened, they were just like pre-dates.

    Anyhow, on one of these pre-dates I said something to the effect of "so you must be the hottest girl in this town. Must be nice." She kind of looked down and was like "yeah...I don't know if that was good for me." She also had a tattoo of an orchid on her wrist and I asked about it. She was very vague in her answer, and said something about a new beginning from something not so good. I got the impression that it was a don't-be-a-slut reminder. I also overheard her saying to another mutual friend about her not liking to come home because she feels like people still judge her. So I think it's something she regrets.

    As far as once a slut, always a slut, I'm not sure. One the one hand, she seems remorseful about her behavior in high school and college. She's had a few long-ish term boyfriends and she wouldn't cheat on the current boyfriend with me, even though she was done with him and clearly liked me. We went to a party one night though, and with a few beers in her, she was a little more touchy. She kept leaning in to kiss me, but then would swerve off and plant it on my neck or shoulder, like she was catching herself. It did make me wonder a little because I was like "if I date her will she get tired of me and hang out with another guy?" She didn't technically break any rules, but at the same time, I'd be pissed if my girlfriend did that.

    I guess like anything, it's case-to-case. It probably depends on your reasons for the initial promiscuity. In my own case, I wasn't living in a monastery either when I was single. I was hooking up with new girls all the time, so I guess that's pretty man-slutty. But I don't really buy into that, if you're single, do you. Are we keeping score? As long as you're safe and responsible with others' feelings, I say bang away. But when I commit, I can turn it off, and that's what matters.

  • If you want to sleep with lots of people then do. If you did sleep with lots of people then fine. If you want to change how many people you sleep with then do that. It is completely up to you. We define labels, labels don't define us.

    If you are a kind, genuine, nice person then - given time - you will find someone who loves you for who you are, and won't care if you slept with a few more people than some national average statistics.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I don't think it matters. At all. I don't apply that term to women and I don't think of them like that. In my mind, there are women who've slept with a lot of guys and are promiscuous just as there are guys who are promiscuous. There are different reasons for those actions but it's none of anyone else's business. There's no need to judge anyone, most importantly yourself.

    I don't think the word "slut" is, like, a bad word or anything but it definitely does play into that Virgin Mary ideal, that if you're a sexual woman you should be ashamed and therefore condemned with a derogatory word like "slut." So if you view womens' sexuality through that funnel and you apply that label to yourself or others you're doing yourself a disservice.

    F*** the label. If you've been promiscuous it just means you're a better lover than the rest of us, that's all. :)

    • Im not ashamed of m sexuality. I think that Sluts do exist and that they end up the loser in the situation. They don't get what they want, but the guy does. I haven't met a woman who sleeps with a guy who doesn't want more than just sex.

    • OK. To each her own, then.

  • I hate that word...

    Everyone has a different idea of what it means to be a *intake of breath* "slut".

    I don't feel like I'm slutty, but I know conservative people may think I am. To others, I'm pretty innocent/normal.

    So long as you respect yourself and have sex for the right reasons, I don't see how you could be viewed as slutty. Lying, cheating and careless sex may make you seem "slutty" or whatever.

  • You are whatever you decide to be. We all hav a past, we can decide to continue that way or not :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 16
  • My definition of a slut is someone who bangs just about every guy that gives them the time of day. That chick in the bar that is scrambling around at 145 am looking for a guy to take them home on Friday. Most women like that have no self worth and generally low self esteem. They want a boyfriend, but show there true colors when there pants come off before you get the bedroom.

    Yes, guys will bang you. Though, most will have little to no respect for you. That's great you have the skills to deep throat me or move your hips the right way to make me come in under a minute. At the end of the day, I want a girl who hasn't been banged by everyone. If your a cute girl with something to offer, make me work for it. Let me prove I'm worth spreading your legs for.

    Girls are too easy these days, and they wonder why guys have no respect for them or want anything more than a cheap lay from them.

  • no you wouldn't be and you never were because who am I to judge?

  • In my opinion there is no such thing as a slut since human beings are very sexual beings and shouldn't be shamed for acting on normal and natural instincts.

    • Best answer!

  • I wil f*** a slut cause am having fun and she is as well...I wanted to and she wanted to and who cares if we move on to do the same with different people and who cares about what other people think..

    I don't care and I think she shouldn't care and I don't expect her to...you are what you present yourself to be

  • I find once a slut, always a slut... it's almost like once a girl has been with lots of guys, she loses the ability to bond in any meaningful way

    this is obvious to any guy who has been around the block. I don't think women are innately equipped with being able to be a decent person after lots of men have been inside her

  • What the "once a __ always a __" phrases mean is that once you do something or become a certain thing, that thing will always stick with you and be apart of you. So if a slut (depending on your definition) has sex with 30 different guys but decides to wait for a relationship for now on, that doesn't erase what she did before. She might not act like a slut anymore, but she still slept with those 30 guys and she was still a slut at one point. Even if she has changed, it is still a stain she can't remove and will have to live with. Hopefully she kind find others who accept her new self and move on or don't care about the past, but humans being humans, those others will be hard to find.

  • I'm always suspicious about the people who label others , MUCH more than about those who get the label(s) sticking on them.

    I think that irresponsible behavior during adolescence should be forgotten once adulthood is reached and the person behaves like a responsible adult. In justice there's the 'statute of limitations', which is valid even for unpunished crimes like murder, unless it's classified as 'crime against humanity'.

    I quote:

    "Common law legal systems usually have a statute, for example, limiting the time for prosecution of a debt or designated as misdemeanors to two years after the event occurred. Under such a statute, if a person is discovered to have committed a misdemeanor three years later, they cannot be prosecuted, even if enough evidence is available to meet the standard of proof.

    Purpose:

    The purpose and effect of Statutes of Limitation is to protect defendants. There are three reasons that support the existence of Statutes of Limitation, namely: (a) that a plaintiff with good causes of actions should pursue them with reasonable diligence; (b) that a defendant might have lost evidence to disprove a stale claim; and (c) that long dormant claims have more of cruelty than justice in them."

    Read more: link

    About any country in the world has a similar law.

    Of course, crimes will not be forgotten that way after 2 years, nor will debts but misdemeanors will. The more harm was done , the longer the statute will be.

    And being promiscuous isn't as harmful as speeding if one avoids STDs.

  • no. you define yourself. never let others define you.

  • a leopard cannot change his spots

  • Depends on what you did.

  • No, now you'd be an ex-slut.

    • Lmao

  • God I hope still a slut I love a person slut

  • Sammy Jo Gyllenskog

  • This is an entirely subjective question and you are unlikely to get any kind of consensus as to what even constitutes a slut. (As evidenced by a previous responders claim that "No if it's one guy a year or less than your[i](sic)[/i] good. Your[i](sic)[/i] no longer a slut." When and where are we living exactly? Puritan England? Is that calendar year or fiscal year?)

    Personally, I would say that it depends on a person's individual character. Its entirely natural for human beings to want to have sex. (Unless you're asexual.) If you're attracted to a person, their character resonates with you, you're honest with them and you end up having sex that's perfectly understandable; even if you don't become a long-term couple. In no way does that make you a slut, even if that turn of events happens countless times. People and relationships are messy and don't always work for a multitude of reasons. If you're having sex w/ someone just because they have the correct genitalia and are in your general proximity when you're horny but have no intention of knowing them as a human being then you're unarguably a depraved slut.

    The last woman I dated told me she'd cheated on every boyfriend she'd ever had. She told me she'd lost her virginity at 17 and that she'd had 89 sexual partners (She's currently 30). That means she's averaged a new partner approximately every 58 days for the last 14 years. Someone like that with dubious character and no sense of fidelity probably always will be a slut (She was adamant that she wasn't.) Funny thing about her is she's a strident feminist who blames males for all the world's problems and was constantly bemoaning how poorly males had treated her. It was beyond sad that she lacked the introspection to identify her own poor behavior.

    I'd say a persons character never really changes, its an intrinsic part of who they are. However, if you treat you next man with honesty and kindness, and he's a beta, he'll overlook past indiscretions.

  • who cares...

  • It's more complicated than that. To answer your question, what needs to be looked at is more about "why" they do it more so then "what" or how often/easily they are doing it.

    I take it that by "slut" you mean a women who is more or less eager to have sex, often with many men non exclusively, right?

    First, let me start of by saying a woman who enjoys sex is not a slut. I just want to that out there. That word is thrown out there way to loosely and frankly, is an unfair double standard view. Just because someone doesn't fall into our societies view of sexual expression doesn't make you a bad person. I just want to clarify that. I'm willing to bet that given enough trust and confidence, people have repressed sexual desire waaaay more than they are willing to admit. Sexual desire is natural, biological, and if I can speak for everyone, a hell of a lot of fun lol. Done. Putting it out there.

    Like I mentioned before, it's more about figuring why they do it more so than what they've done. Lack of a good male figure may be responsible. A good male role model (or female role model) cab teach you to respect yourself and your body. The two go hand in hand. You don't learn that, you may find yourself using your body to get acceptance from men, using it to manipulate to get what you want by using sex as a wealon or a tool.

    Self-esteem issues. Hell, we've all got them. But for girls they are much more present and stick around much longer. Some girls might associate love with sex. "To get love/feel loved, I need that sexual intimacy." Which at some point or another, we've all learned. Hard way or otherwise. And when that guy leaves, she's determined to prove she is deserving of love by...sleeping with the next guy. THAT will show em'. It's a vicious cycle that leads to no good obviously. But they are bent on finding love this way.

    Over sexualized environment or overly strict sexual environment. We don't have look any further than our front door to see sex everywhere. Shampoo, tooth paste commercials, sex here, sex there. And it through out the years, it's become the norm. As for overly strict sexual environment? Look, if your parents ever told you couldn't have something, most likely, you were going to find the reason for yourself

    Girls who've had some sexual trauma have been known to also be very promiscuous or be sexual people. Not there fault of course. Some fam member may have molested them or they have been raped at some point in their lives. They sometimes retaliate those hurt feelings with sex. They think they don't deserve better or sometimes those good feeling chemicals that sex brings, can be the numbing distraction they need.

    So to answer your question, "once a slut always always a slut?" That depends on whether that person chooses to address the underlying issues. Some might not recognize that it's some of these aforementioned issues or that they are issues at all. When it comes to making changes for self improvement, its never too late.

  • If you want to believe that about yourself, yes

  • Well when I think about how someone should space out their serious relationships, if they are at all serious. I would say sex with more than one guy a year is a slut. I mean if your not taking the time to get to know them before having sex than that's a slut. I mean how many guys could you f*** in a year being in serious relationships. No if it's one guy a year or less than your good. Your no longer a slut.

    • I hope you feel the same thing about men then too.

    • Sometimes,guys are just funny as well

  • it's like people saying once a cheater always a cheater. no it's not true. it depends on the person and whether they have truly changed.

  • Depends how you define slutty but I guess I'm a slut according to most people so may as well have my fun since I'm clearly not marriage material.

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