Oral Sex & Fingering...Gross & Disgusting?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I are pretty open with each other about fantasies and desires in bed,and we always try his out.The two things I would love to try that I've never done before,well,he refuses to do.He's the only guy I've been with sexually so I don't know what's normal or not.But we've done role playing,anal sex,video taping(destroyed it) and have used foods.Well my first fantasy I guess you could say or call it,I would like to try oral sex on me.I do go down on him,but I just wanna try it,even if it's for 10 seconds just to see what it feels like,and the other thing which sounds kinda lame is fingering.He's never done either to me but I would really love to try them.I've asked him twice before about both but he refuses.I guess from other guys point of views,are those gross or nasty?Should I just leave them alone? btw,I know I could just finger myself or use a vibrator,I just think maybe it would be fun to try,I'm not trying to sound like a nagging girlfriend or selfish.

[sa230e]

What type of guy would refuse to finger a girl? I can see some guys not liking oral but fingering? That's just selfish and I cannot for the life of me understand it. As a guy I'd love nothing more than to sensually finger a woman till my hand goes numb(and I'm not the only one) . There's nothing gross about it.

How is justifiable that he expects you to put his d*** in your mouth (and possibly even swallow) but he refuses to give you oral. Having a penis in your mouth can't be much fun. It sounds pretty unpleasant - especially the result. If a woman loves you enough to do that he owes you a good fingering at the very least.

You're not asking a lot. Oral and fingering especially are pretty standard sexual practices - you're not asking for anything crazy. Women have a right to their pleasure in relationship too. You can't just give and give and give. I know you want to be nice and guys appreciate that quality but you deserve to have your fantasies fulfilled. You gotta fight for your right to pleasure!

[sweetheart18]

Amen brother >=D

[Genesis5]

You've had sex, role played, made video tapes, and even anal,... but where the line is being drawn is at fingering? That's like going on a shooting spree, but then refusing to jay-walk because, well, that would be breaking the law, and we all need our limits.

Something about this just fails to make sense to me.

You should be able to get what you want in bed, especially if you are going through with his request. Talk to him about why he feels that way, perhaps he just isn't sure what to do, and is scarred about looking stupid. There has to be something that he is apprehensive about. But him saying that it's nasty, that just doesn't make any sense.

I'm going to put it in your pooper,.. but don't let your vagina touch my finders,... yea, this statement doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

[31Ross]

Shooting spree, then jay walking. I was laughing my ass off when I read that lol

[cassies94]

I can't give you any specific advice on that but I can give you some insight-your boyfriend is the one being selfish not u. You go down on him and play out all his fantasies but he won't do urs, he's being selfish and inconsiderate to ur wants and desires. You two had anal sex which was most likely painful for you in the beginning but he can't be brave and go down on you for a couple of minutes. He can stick his d*** in you but not his fingers and yet he expects you 2 go down and suck his peehole. He's being really selfish. Your not forcing him to do anything so don't listen 2 the anonymous user that said that. Talk to him about all the stuff you do for him and how he doesn't want 2 fufill ur fantasies. In a way I see his point if he doesn't do oral sex since some people think its gross doing it but not if ur the one feeling it=) but he can at least finger u. In the end if he's still being selfish and not relenting ur going to have to wait for your next boyfriend 2 do that.

[Anonymous]

He should definitely do both! It seems a little odd that he hasn't. . . I've been with very few guys who DON'T at least like fingering. That's not selfish, it's fair. Try asking him why he doesn't want to- then explain that you do those things for him, why can't he return the favors?

Also, maybe he doesn't have experience in those? Though it sounds unlikely. If that is the case, just guide him to where you want him to be, and show him you're enjoying it.

If he's truly uncomfortable with either/both, you have to decide if that's ok with you or not.

[katiesmuff]

Your friend seems to be a bit weird to say the least! Might give some thought to changing guys! Can't say I've heard of one that wouldn't finger a girl, heck usually they have hands and fingers down their before you can say Jack Rabbit? The oral I know some guys have a problem with that, but usually if a girl will discontinue oral on him, most of them will come around and give muff munching a chance.

[sharksgirl]

He's extremely selfish and I wouldn't put up with that! If you go down on him why can't he return the favor? Did he have a bad past experience with going down on girls? Because a man who won't be willing to satisfy your needs is just a boy. A boy you don't need.

[AllisonA]

Hmmm, I'm not quite understanding your updates. Everyone pretty much agrees that he's a selfish prick. Fingering/(and more than likely) oral is something you are entitled too (I mean you give him oral).

He can dish but cannot take.

Sounds like he's got other hang ups that he is relaying to the bedroom.

Or maybe it's a pride issue.

[oasis]

best it so bait him in. when ur having fun and all that. get up slowing open legs and be on sexy about it. and also can just bug him tell he argess lol

[Asker]

I already said never mind.I just won't ask anymore.But thanks for answering.

[DaBuzzman]

It is fun to try absolutely! And you deserve that feeling of it. That's not being selfish at all are you kidding? As a guy I love giving and I really enjoy oral and fingering or master bating her. I know how it makes her feel. It's very intimate and close and very sexy and turns me on too and I then want to be so inside of her! With fingering it feels so warm and wet and with oral I can lick everywhere, tease, make out with the clit or gently bite it. Just be very sloppy and wet. Tastes good right after a hot shower and she's saved or waxed. You deserve the treatment and feeling. That should always go both ways! Why does he say he won't do it exactly? If it's a smell thing, like I said shave and take a nice hot shower and use a body lotion. He can also add a tasty lube or gel down there too. No excuse!

[mitsy]

Well he sounds kinda selfish to me..

[Oddjob]

Noooooooo!

Do not let this go!

You need to get what you want!

All guys don't find it disgusting. I love it. Most guys I know either love it or are OK with it.

[Oddjob]

Don't settle for someone who refuses to do this.

I've given girls some brain-bending Os using my tongue and tugging their G-spots with my index & middle finger.

I love doing that. it's such a rush to have that kind of effect on a girl.

It's gratifying to watch a girl lose herself in a really powerful orgasm.

He needs to do this for you.

He should want to do this for you.

[John83]

Most guys do like fingering girls and it's usually a first step before having sex. I don't know of any guys that don't like fingering. Oral is something I know some guys don't like, but I think the majority do like going down on a girl. It's actually one of my favorite things to do. He may just never have tried it before and doesn't realize how good it can be. Good luck! Hopefully he'll come around. If not, there are plenty of other guys who will go down on you and finger you as much as you want.

[Nya12]

You should refuse to give him oral until he agrees to give you oral too. It's unfair for him to expect you to satisfy his needs when he refuses to satisfy yours.

[Anonymous]

well you have used food as sex toys so why not make him eat food out of your vagina. it may sound gross but if you pop some candy in there, he may just go for it.

[Asker]

I've suggested the food thing but he still refuses

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't force him to do something he doesn't want to.He won't enjoy it and you won't enjoy it if he doesn't want to give.Not everyone likes oral sex,some people despise giving oral sex,it isn't his fault and you shouldn't guilt him or make him feel bad.

Finger yourself and use a vibrator,there you go,you already answered your own question.

[slappy_bender]

Dunno. I love giving my girl oral so much I can't imagine anyone not.

[Opinion Owner]

Not every guys likes it and you shouldn't force him to do it.If it were a guy complaining about not getting oral everyone would be saying "you shouldn't force her"