Over the pants count as a hand job?

ive been dating my boyfriend for four months and I made him wait two before we even made out and I'm making him wit six before we go to second. we talk openly about all of this and he says he's willing to wait. the other day we were making out and accidentally my hand ended up on his penis. I figured that if I didn't say anything and just kept it there then I could be giving him more pleasure while still not technically doing anything. we talked about it on the phone that night and decided that it was fine for me to do that because it just the same as my leg or arm resting there. the next day we were making out and he put my hand there and started moving it. I don't really know how but I ended up moving my hand myself on it a little bit. now I can't figure out whether I think we went to third or not. it was over his pants but I was basically giving him one and he was like showing me what to do and stuff. I'm really confused. I talked to him and he said that if I don't want to do that again he's totally ok with my decision. I can't even decide what I'm comfortable with or not though. please help? what's ur opinion?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Showing you what to do on top of his pants is not giving a hand-job even if you massaged it and it felt good to both of you. I don't know why you're to technical about this. When the time comes and you give him a hand-job you'll know without any hesitation that you did. You won't have to ask anyone on here to make that determination. lol! If you're worried that you're going too fast, then just slow down and so other things then temp each other with sexual play.

  • My girlfriend sometimes strokes me over my pants and she sometimes makes me cum like this..

Most Helpful Girls

  • If it isn't making you uncomfortable it's fine. He sounds like a cool guy who is willing to wait.don't compromise your morals by going further than you want to.faster than you want to. But if you wanna rub him a little bit outside of his pants.it sounds fine. I wouldn't count that as a hand job.for sure. I'm.sure he doesn't count it as one either. lol. Bottom line is: If you're cool with it, do it. It doesn't make you a "slut" or anything.

    Have fun. :)

  • I don't know, in my mind it's like half a hand job. I mean you're not even really touching his penis so that can't totally count, right? Touching it would have to take you up a step, no?

    Totally off the subject, what's with all the rigid rules? I can understand not wanting to do everything right away, but it seems like you want to give him an actual hand job. I'm not sure why you would let some arbitrary rule in your mind stop you from doing that.

    • Well I'm pretty prude and he's the first guy I've even let tongue me. I also think that there's definitely a possibility that we could go out for a long time-so does he- and if we do I know for sure I don't want to go past third. I'm just concerned that if we do everything else now, we could end up going farther later, which I don't feel comfortable doing at this age.

    • Well okay, I can understand trying to pace yourself. And I think it's good that you're aware that you might not be ready for sex just yet. I guess I was just worried that it might be some crappy societal restraint that was stopping you. It bugs me when I see women who allow the expectations of others to dictate their behavior. That doesn't seem to be the case here though, so carry on.

    • And I really do think it doesn't totally count. In the same way that there's a difference between letting a guy touch you over or under your shirt. One is like halfway there, the other is the real deal.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • It counts.

    • Even if I didn't do it to the point where he came?

    • Well I say it doesn't count!! But the main thing is what you and your boyfriend say about it. If you both say it doesn't count, then it doesn't, plain and simple. I mean gosh you can massage his penis on top of his pants all day and I would call that more like making out. That's not a hand-job even if he cums. A hand-job is taking it in your hands and doing what he does when he wants to get off.

    • Really, I don't know. I think it would count but I'm not sure. Don't listen to me. I have no experience whatsoever. Plus, I count things for everything really easy. It is just my way. I would personally count it, but I'm a weird freak who doesn't even know the exact definition.