Publishing ex nude pictures for revenge? Sending to their parents?

[Anonymous]

I had a girlfriend who hurt me really bad. She nagged until I could not take it anymore, she insulted me, was demeaning to me, cheated on me without remorse and in general made my life very miserable. After breaking up, I am so damaged and scared, I feel really abused and in pain. I am having trouble moving on and healing all of this. And this makes me want revenge. I dumped her in the end, after 3 years of slow torture. And I got plenty nude pictures of her. Some of them with pretty sexual content. Do you think publishing those would be good as a revenge? What about sending them to her parents who think she is so pure and innocent... they even think she is a virgin. (while she is not close to that.)

[MrOracle]

This girl hurt you; we all get that. Everyone has been hurt and we all know how bad if feels.

But posting her pics somewhere isn't going to make you feel any better, and it won't change the past. It very well COULD change your future, though, because if people find out you did this, especially girls, you'll never be trusted by them again.

A couple of the girls touched in this, and I'm going to reinforce it here:

You are a MAN. And a man doesn't tolerate this kind of behavior; a man stands up for himself and keeps his woman in her place. Not with fear or violence, but with sheer will and self-respect. And what you probably don't realize is: girls who act like she does are DYING for their man to take charge and put them in their place. They WANT to respect their man, and know that their man has a backbone and demands respect. If they suspect you are weak, they will start pushing you, hoping they will cross a line and get you to stand up to them. You let this crap go on for THREE YEARS and let her cross all kinds of uncrossable lines, and so she didn't respect you.

I'm not going to blame you for anything; her behavior was still bad, and you probably haven't ever had anyone explain things to you this bluntly and directly, but LEARN FROM THIS! Don't be an a-hole, but don't let a girl walk all over you either. Don't be afraid to tell a girl "no" and don't be afraid to break up with her if she violates your trust. And no matter what, do not let your girl, or anyone else, disrespect you. Stand up for yourself.

[Anonymous]

I don't know exactely what she did to you, or you did to her, so I can't give you a totally meaninful answer. Just remember, she may retaliate against you after you post her pictures, or send them to her parents, so keep that in mind.

Sometimes getting back at a person doesn't make you feel better, but if it makes you feel better and she deserves it, and only you know if she does, then go for it, but at the very least take a month to cool down first.

However, you must remember, the best revenge, is living well, and I think that is what you should do.

[justathought191]

I know that revenge sounds sweet. But you don't want to be that guy. Knowing that you have that kind of power is intoxicating, but you shouldn't let that lead your reasoning. It's truly unfortunate that she treated you so poorly and made you so miserable. That's wrong. But that doesn't mean that you should go and try to screw things up with her now that you're not together. That's disingenuous and I'm sure you're a better person than that. Rise above the pain. Move on and find a girl who is going to love you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. That's the best revenge possible. Because eventually, awful ex-girlfriend is going to look back and see how good she had things and when she sees that you're happy and you've just moved on that will make her insane.

[shapeshiftgirl]

No-no! Shame on you. No matter how bad a person hurts your pride, you never stoop to their level. It's alright to want to have revenge on somebody and be completely pissed off, but publishing pictures like that is NOT going to make you feel better and will most likely back-fire. She-and everyone else-would know it was YOU who sent them. It's a big invasion of privacy and completely uncalled for. Delete/burn the pictures and wallow like the rest of the betrayed and hurt people. You're not going to feel like that forever, you know. Move on with your life and find somebody worth-while.

[tohrment]

I think that is a ridiculously terrible thing to do. I don't care what someone does to you, I think that's low. It's the kind of thing that literally has the power to ruin someone's life. You've been through a lot, and I understand that, but having been through it could you possibly wish it upon another person? Even someone who treated you like sh*t.

Don't stoop to her level. Delete the photos, wish her the best, get her out of your life, and move on. You're better than that. And honestly, if I met a guy and I found out he did that to an ex I would be completely turned off.

[tohrment]

Oh, also, if you do so you can be held liable under defamation or invasion of privacy, etc - depending on your local laws.

[danielm2009uk]

I think that would be unwise and could easily come back on you and make matters worse with her and her family. Wanting revenge is understandable, but unwise. Best suggestion, njust burn those pictures and wipe out any image from her in your mind. You may find that is revenge enough.

[danielm2009uk]

Additional note - If you do this and people find out, other girls may find out and not want to date you for fear of reprisal.

[gonyr]

Don't send to her parents. They didn't do anything wrong and don't deserve to see that.

On the internet however, maybe.

If you really want to get over her though, maybe deleting the pics would be a better idea. Just don't have naked pics of a girl on your phone and try toi meet someone else

I actually answered a Q like this yesterday and thought that if a girl did something like what you mentioned, I might post them on the internet.

[foolycooly1001]

You should see a therapist to help you. Revenge won't change what alread happened.

[Anonymous]

You f*cking passive aggressive pig!

So instead of having a back bone, being assertive and sticking up for yourself, you allowed her to insult and demean you? You never called her out on her nagging and told her to chill out? You allowed such a vile female to make your life miserable? And instead of taking a stand and stopping that bs, you wait until after she's long gone to pull some passive aggressive, cowardly behavior like sending naked pics to her parents? WOW.

You're a f*cking idiot for letting such a selfish b*tch stay in your life and a complete a**hole for even considering this. Maybe had you not been such a punk b*tch, you wouldn't feel the need to get revenge.

[Opinion Owner]

@ Question update, did she really emotionally abuse you or are you just being over sensitive and dramatic? What did she do exactly?

[Asker]

She actually did abuse to the point that I have really need professional help to recover. It is a long, very long story everything that happened. It was not only after many months of our breakup that I actually accepted I had been abused. Before accepting that I myself used to defend her. That's one of the things abuse does to you.

[Opinion Owner]

what exactly did she do?

[LSBeene]

While I am unsure if he should do the whole revenge thing - YOUR comment is the most insensitive unempathetic answer I've read in a long time So he's some kind of scum for trying to work things out, for trusting someone, and for being burned? WTF is WRONG with you?

[Anonymous]

there is no way to justify doing something like that to another human being. keep in mind, this was someone you dated for 3 years. you chose to date her. so at some point you need to work out your feelings and rise above this instead of dragging the situation out and making it worse.

[Anonymous]

Aren't you better than her? If she is as bad as she says something will happen to her all on its own.

Circulating nude pictures of someone is WRONG no matter who that person is or what they did. I wouldn't wish for something like that even for my worst enemies and I knew some people who did unspeakable things.