Says he doesn't do hookups but hooked up with me? I'm confused.

So there was this guy I met who was my best friend's good friend. We all went out to the club about a month ago. We were all drinking, needless to say, he and I hooked up. We don't talk for a few weeks. Another week goes by, and same thing happens. We meet up, he's not drunk, I am, and we hook up again. The next day he confesses that he doesn't do hook ups, and I'm the first girl he's done no strings attached sex with. He avoids me for three weeks. I finally text him and ask him when he's leaving for the military (he told me we couldn't start anything because he's leaving for a year) and he told me. He said "well thanks for the good time we had a couple times. The sex was good." I told him there's more to me then that, and he said "I'm sure there is, but glad to know that you like me. I'd invite you to come over but I'm not one for hookups. Later." I mean what gives? He was all for it when we were hooking up, and now he says he doesn't do that? WTF? And he didn't even invite me to his going away party. I'm so confused.
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I knew it was a hookup. I said from the get go that's all I wanted. He went and got all "I don't do this sort of thing. I like you. I want to get to know you better." So he made it seem like HE wanted more. Ugh.. Oh well.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It was a hookup, and he felt weird about that.

    Either he wasn't interested in more and felt bad because you might (and in fact, did) get attached. I think to be comfortable with hookups, you have to be willing to say 'they knew what they were getting into, and if they got hurt, its their problem'. He's not like that.

    Maybe he would have been interested in more if the timing were different, though really there's nothing he said to suggest that.

    If he'd been comfortable with FWB, he'd have banged you a few more times before he left.

    • Ya, but thing is, from the GET GO I said I was fine with just hooking up. He's the one who said that he wanted more so I said "okay, you want to get to know each other we can." Then he goes and pulls this. I don't get it. He's toying with my emotions.

    • My best guess from the little you've said is that he isn't totally comfortable with hookups, but that IS all he wanted. You've told him you were interested in more, if he wanted more, he could have it. I don't think he is. I don't think he was being malicious. You were okay with hooking up, you started being interested, it wasn't reciprocated, sucks, life goes on.

    • I wasn't interested. HE SAID HE WAS. Get it? I said, okay you want that, that's fine. He led ME on. I never liked him. I just want to know why u'd say things and lie? That's so wrong.

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  • He just wanted you for sex and hook up. I am pretty sure he lied to you about the fact he doesn't do hook ups. Maybe it is true that you are the first he did it with no strings attached, but that doesn't mean he doesn't do hook ups.

    • Douchebag. Ugh.. Why would someone lie something stupid like that?

    • Well I will have to say many bad guys who go to clubs do things like that just to get some. Of course not all are like that. Another thing is that girls these days are really careless about the guys they do things with, whether it's friends, relationships or whatever. It's really hard for me to look for a smart girl who is somewhat attractive these days and KNOWS which guys are bad.

    • I'm smart on all things. Book wise and and most common sense. Just when it comes to guys, I guess I don't have very good douche radar. lol Oh and he was my best friends friend so he was a "supposed" nice guy.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • How are you confused? It was a hookup not dating and not a relationship. I know its hard to hear but move on. Try not to be mad him about because he told you it was a hookup. When people drink they get more relaxed (as you know) and things happen. Five words sum it up : He is not into you. Find someone who is into you and don't waste time on a lost cause. Life is too short. Good luck and I am sorry this happened to you and I know you arw hurt but try to move on.

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