Sex for the first time, Does it really hurt that much?

I'm just wondering if it really hurts. I'm nervous about it. I'll be doing it soon with my boyfriend. We are both virgins. I'm 23 and he is 21. I don't really know what to expect. Girls, how's your first time? Did you bleed or felt pain? How long it wAs til you felt pleasure? Boys, were you nervous? What did you do?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • It will hurt, however, if done properly, it won't hurt as bad or as long. There is a process that needs to pretty much be followed. First is light kissing and touching. The you go into the heavier touching and kissing, building each other up to where you want more of each other. You start to really get heavier into it when your clothes start coming off. But, you aren't finished yet. There is a whole lot more foreplay that is to come, such as you playing with him and then going down on him and giving him a blowjob. He is to also be playing with you, and then ultimately going down on you as well. You don't want to suck him off just yet because you want him to last as long as possible. However, when he's going down on you, he can bring you off so that You're good and wet (It will make things a little more comfortable, that way he isn't going into you dry), When it comes time for him to go all the way in, he cannot force himself in, as going in forceful will only hurt you more, and may wind up with you not liking him any longer. Tell him to be gentle and both of you will enjoy it more.

    • Thanks^_^

    • If you seriously want to have sex, you should have it with someone who is more experienced with it, they will know what to do being that you're a virgin. If it were me, it would be a very big pleasure for me to (not just in the context of taking your virginity) take your virginity, because I've never been with a virgin and it would be something very special for me and I would make it very special for you (or whomever).

  • If you're nervous, you're not ready and shouldn't do it. Nervousness will not make it pleasurable because you won't be wet enough and in the mood. You will need a lot of foreplay, lube, and taking things slow. Tell him to go in little by little. An inch or two in and take it out or stop. Wait a few seconds and go a little deeper. It will help you get used to the feeling and your vagina will lengthen and stretch to accept whatever size he is. After several minutes he should be able to go fully in and you shouldn't feel much pain.

Most Helpful Girls

  • It seriously hurt me. My mistake was not saying anything, I didn't want him to think badly of me so I kept my mouth shut and tried to work through the pain. I regret it! If it hurts you a lot tell him straight away and get him to ease up a bit, revert back to more foreplay. But don't suffer in silence.

    I also bled a lot, which I'm still not entirely sure was normal (I'm 21 now and I lost my virginity back when I was 16) and I bled for the next 2 days.. again this may not be the norm so hopefully it won't happen to you. After he finished up, even the guy was shocked at how much blood there was (he wasn't a virgin)

    I didn't start to enjoy sex until me 3rd/4th attempt at it, I only then began to feel more comfortable and relaxed and well enjoy it.

    I wasn't nervous before hand because I had a couple of drinks...

  • Take your time and don't let him stick it in right away without lube and foreplay. Get romantic and kiss and hold each other. Give each other manual and maybe some oral (use lube for manual). And when you're very wet and aroused. Have him wear a condom and your vagina and his condom covered penis. I had a pleasant and really a painless first time because my partner knew what he was doing. He didn't rush, he took his time (not that I would let him rush it) but it was so good and pleasurable. Don't get nervous and just love one another. And I recommend you watch these videos.

    https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=bbw_vB3IJ9E&index=16&list=FLHLycFIsQQu67ME0J6ISu0ghttps://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=9qFojO8WkpAhttps://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=S3vaKCudiqE
  • My first time wasn't all that painful to be honest. I didn't bleed, and did feel a little pain though it wasn't nearly as bad as many of my friends made me expect. I'd compare the pain to growing pains, sort of like a constant discomfort. I didn't feel much pleasure the first time, but the second time was great.

    I wouldn't worry too much about your first time. As long as you guys spend time on foreplay to ensure that you're wet enough, the pain should be not all that bad. Also, try your best to relax as nervousness will cause your muscles to tense up, at the same time worsening the pain.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 4
  • No! As long as he uses a lot of foreplay to make you wet before hand it doesn't hurt that much at all, just a little pinch!

  • it hurt SOOOOOOOOO BAD! I was 20 and he was 19. Both virgins. We took our time and I was really wet. It still hurt a lot, I was all tense and trying to relax. He was very sweet and kept asking if I was OK. Eventually we stopped.

    It took 3 different sessions for my hymen to finally break. After that it didn't hurt much at all. Just the initial pressure when going in and then it feels so good.

  • You can stretch out before hand with a peeled carrot or other tapered object if you want to avoid pain. Stretching can take a while though. Up to you which you want. Not all girls experience pain if there's already enough of an opening to accommodate the penis in question.

    My first time I was nervous as hell. Thank god it was with an older woman. :-)

  • It didn't hurt that much for me. He went down on me for quite a bit before sticking it in so to speak, so I was quite wet but the initial first penetration stung a little but after that it was

    • Ok and I bled a bit after but not much. It definitely wasn't a horrifying experience

  • I took it really slow on my girlfriend, she said it hurt, but after about 15 minutes she got used to it and I still took it slow. She bled afterwards.

  • The more you rush into it, the more it hurts. Being nervous will make you tighten up, which makes it hurt more. If you're not properly aroused and he just tries sticking it in, it's going to hurt. If you've been together for a while and have been having oral sex and fingering, it will help. If you've masturbated regularly with penetration, that will also help.

    Talk about it a lot to make sure you're ready and on the same page, set the mood just the way you want it, buy some lube, and do plenty of foreplay before you try it. It might still be uncomfortable, but that will help reduce it to a minimum.

  • Yup it does depends on if your ready it won't hurt as much cause u will be relax but if a person that has a lot of anxiety and is doubtful n not sure about doing it may exceed pain a lot cause their not relax but it is 100% justified tht first time sex does pain at first but afterwards it won't u will enjoy it :) I'm a virgin still n same question I does ask my self but I learn this in my science class... Just be brave n u can do anything but safely tho !!

  • Deflowered my girlfriend 2 months ago, it did hurt her quite a bit and continued to hurt for 5 days after it was over. It also hurt her the 2nd and 3rd time equally as much when I inserted into her. After a month it didn't hurt though it still does hurt her if we don't do it for a week or more.

    My own first time, it wasn't really a planned thing, just some fooling around that went too far. I wasn't nervous but was a bit unsure to do it or not.

  • Depends on if the guy you are with knows what he is doing.

    Eh, it's one of those things that is best to get it over with.

    Even if it requires condoms and intoxicant's it's best to just get over that hurtle.

    The skin (hymen if still there) on the outside I think doesn't have a lot of nerves in it so that is not really a bit deal in my opinion.

    The penetration part, well, it's not that great usually the first time.

    • big* deal -- often the experience is pretty weird and lame for a lot of people but as long as it's not a traumatic experience then you are ahead of the game in that regards