Sexual fantasies vs reality?

[Anonymous]

When I have sexual fantasies, I can really get excited even beyond the limit, and thinking about him. However, when the real thing comes, it's difficult to feel the same as when I have the sexual fantasies. I am still virgin, but I had little sexual experiences (3). I really want to make love with him, but I am getting scared each time. Also, I didn't feel him that he is excited also in those moments. What can we do the next time? Should we be patient and wait?

[Clair]

Don't worry, it's normal to be nervous and awkward the first time. DO you feel like you are ready to have sex? He is probably just feeling the nerves just the same as you.

You need to just relax, reality is so much different to fantasy, especially the first time.

I think it possible that you may be over thinking this, perhaps building it up so much inside your head that when the time comes you freeze with nerves.

It's important to feel you are ready.

For women the first time is never particularly good or pleasurable, but it is still an amazing experience to have with someone you truly feel comfortable with, love and trust.

Good luck, it's just first time nerves, and totally normal, and your fantasies seem stronger than reality right now because that is the only place you have ever slept with someone.

lol I remember when I was a virgin, when I used to dream about sex, I would always wake up instantly the moment it came to penetration, in my dream I was that nervous about it.

[jacquesvol]

If you have limited sexual experience , making out, oral etc etc, don't have "full sex" the first time you get a free room. Take your time,getting used to his hands and lips on your naked body, your hands and lips on his, exploring gradually what's fun and exciting to you (and to him). Get over feelings of "modesty" (lol) and shame.

Take your time, 6 months if needed. Be sure about birth control and about not getting an STI.

I'd like to add a recommendation I read from an very intelligent girl I know:

"Only do it when you're sure you won't regret it, even if the day after you have the fight of the century with your boyfriend and you dump him with the intention to see him never again."

Another one:

"Don't do it when you aren't ready to face a kid or an abortion if your birth control fails"

Success!

[jacquesvol]

Don't expect (and don't do) too much, the first time: he's probably no expert at popping cherries (lol). The next times will be better, guaranteed.